Choosing a name?

[DustyWolfe]

I know there are a few of you out there that have you legally changed your name or are thinking about it. Especially among the Trans folk.

How did you come to a decision about what name to use?

I'm at the point in my transition and the relationship that I'm in that settling on a name is very important. I've thought about it for months and kept flitting back and forth between a few names. My biggest problem is that I like the less common names. Names that are "different". The problem with that is that it makes people wonder, pretty much tells them that I am different. So I've had to take names like Aerin, Kameron, etc and cross them off my list in favor of more traditional spellings. I had planned on letting my parents help me choose a name but I dont think they are ready to talk about it yet. So I settled on a first name and decided to let them help me pick out my middle name. I'm pretty sure they will settle on my grandfather's middle name. I dont know if they will ever call me by a male name though.
My girlfriend has been awesome through all of this, settling on a name has been very important for her since using the name I was given at birth doesn't really suit me. When we are away from work she refers to me with masculine pronouns and such.

Anyways, sorry to ramble on. Was just curious about the experiences of others

 

[Tymeless]

i've chosen tiffany as mine which would of been what my parents named me had i been born female.

 

[Wolfman1982]

My TS friend has chosen, and changed her name to Isabella, her male name has no meaning, to me. And it pisses me off, that some bitch (sorry ladies), didn´t respect her female name, and by an "accident" the girl said her male name, and I was neutral, and was like I haven´t heard it, and so forth, and later that week, I phoned my TS friend, and said to her, that her male name wasn´t really something that it stood in my mind as someone I knew, and Isabella was the person I knew.

 

[Guest]

My TS friend has chosen, and changed her name to Isabella, her male name has no meaning, to me. And it pisses me off, that some bitch (sorry ladies), didn´t respect her female name, and by an "accident" the girl said her male name, and I was neutral, and was like I haven´t heard it, and so forth, and later that week, I phoned my TS friend, and said to her, that her male name wasn´t really something that it stood in my mind as someone I knew, and Isabella was the person I knew.

I had the honor of helping a friend in transition chose her name. It started as a joke, in the very beginning when "he" announced his desire to be a "she", at least part time, and wanted a name. We bandied names around and about, and finally gravitated toward one with the idea it was just a "temporary" name, just a name for fun. It fulfilled her requirements, was a little exotic but not enough to get more than passing attention, and yet didn't quite please her completely (rather like most of us getting a name from our parents).

Well, two years later, she is still using that name. It didn't suit her exactly in the beginning, but she grew into it. or it grew on her. Anyway, it's now her name and the longer she has it, the more meaning she finds in it. The more it is her name and a name she thinks she can keep for the rest of her life.

And that's the trick with names. Often people who decide to rename themselves pick a name they want right now, and then "outgrow" that name. So think in terms of how you will live with the name. Do you want to always be having to spell your name to people? (my parents gave me a name that has multiple spellings. it's a pain in the ass, but then again, it's my name and I want it RIGHT). Can you see yourself with this name in 10 or 20 years? Can you imagine someone speaking the name at work, in a loving voice, in anger?

More importantly, be careful of hidden jokes in a name, as those are for drag queens. This same friend told me of another trans she knew who had chosen the name "Noel McPhereson". She was a person always down on her looks but with ambitions to be model-like. My friend pointed out the hidden "No Elle McPhereson" in the name, which seemed like a cruel, ironic joke that she'd played on herself.

Good luck with your naming!

 

[Wolfman1982]

malachiteink: her name is Isabella, the only male about her, is her social security number, since she has still not gotten the operation. So her name is really Isabella.

 

[John Doe]

I sometimes think about changing my name to Dirk Stryker. Or Lance Hardwick. Or Chuck Steak. Something like that.

 

[Etoile]

For some reason I think choosing a name with the same first letter of your birth name is a good idea. I have no idea why, it's just a weird thing that I like.

One thing that can be tough is if you're not out in all places. I have a transguy friend who works at a nearby upscale grocery store. One day I decided to drop in and visit without knowing if he was there, so I had to ask if he was around. I asked another employee "is so-and-so here?" and I got a funny look and they said no, they didn't know who that was. He later told me his female name so I would be able to ask for him if I stopped by again, but it was a little awkward that first time I tried asking for him.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I sometimes think about changing my name to Dirk Stryker. Or Lance Hardwick. Or Chuck Steak. Something like that.

Chuck Steak.

That's excellent.

 

[John Doe]

Chuck Steak.

That's excellent.

Yeah. I like it medium well, but that's just me.

Or Biff Webster.

Or Bob. No last name, just Bob. It's a palindrome.

 

[DustyWolfe]

For some reason I think choosing a name with the same first letter of your birth name is a good idea. I have no idea why, it's just a weird thing that I like.

One thing that can be tough is if you're not out in all places. I have a transguy friend who works at a nearby upscale grocery store. One day I decided to drop in and visit without knowing if he was there, so I had to ask if he was around. I asked another employee "is so-and-so here?" and I got a funny look and they said no, they didn't know who that was. He later told me his female name so I would be able to ask for him if I stopped by again, but it was a little awkward that first time I tried asking for him.

I had thought about that but the only name I could come up with that I didn't hate was Kevin. My parents were going to name me that if I had been born a bio male. the only problem is that, that's the name of my closest friend that died when I was 12. I think it would be too bittersweet for me.

I can imagine how awkward it was to ask for your friend by their female name, especially if you purely know them as male.

I finally settled on a name the other day but no middle name. I will let my parents pick out my middle name when they are ready to discuss my transition. Hopefully things will settle down for them and life will be a little less stressful within the next year. I say within the next year because I should have my top surgery out of the way and be ready for a legal name change, gender as well if I can save back the money for a good attorney since it's rather hard to change your gender in the state of Texas.

But really, choosing a name has been a difficult process. It's been hard for me to come up with a name that I see to be fitting. Something that I wont outgrow or hate later on down the road.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I had thought about that but the only name I could come up with that I didn't hate was Kevin. My parents were going to name me that if I had been born a bio male. the only problem is that, that's the name of my closest friend that died when I was 12. I think it would be too bittersweet for me.

I can imagine how awkward it was to ask for your friend by their female name, especially if you purely know them as male.

I finally settled on a name the other day but no middle name. I will let my parents pick out my middle name when they are ready to discuss my transition. Hopefully things will settle down for them and life will be a little less stressful within the next year. I say within the next year because I should have my top surgery out of the way and be ready for a legal name change, gender as well if I can save back the money for a good attorney since it's rather hard to change your gender in the state of Texas.

But really, choosing a name has been a difficult process. It's been hard for me to come up with a name that I see to be fitting. Something that I wont outgrow or hate later on down the road.

I do think it can be difficult. But as I don't know your name, maybe I'm speaking out of line here but I don't think you'll end up hating one you pick. I think, like most of us, we end up liking our names. My name is Roxanne. It's been that since the day I was born. It's unique and it's mine and I really like it. I get called Rox, Roxy, RoxyAnne etc... and I like them all. I have no particular preference.

(I used to keep my identity a big secret, but over the years, I've gotten pretty laid back about that. No one here is interested in my personal life nor will they be looking me up anytime soon. ;-) I'm pretty comfortable with this.)

 

[DustyWolfe]

I do think it can be difficult. But as I don't know your name, maybe I'm speaking out of line here but I don't think you'll end up hating one you pick. I think, like most of us, we end up liking our names. My name is Roxanne. It's been that since the day I was born. It's unique and it's mine and I really like it. I get called Rox, Roxy, RoxyAnne etc... and I like them all. I have no particular preference.

(I used to keep my identity a big secret, but over the years, I've gotten pretty laid back about that. No one here is interested in my personal life nor will they be looking me up anytime soon. ;-) I'm pretty comfortable with this.)

Well... I was given a name that is very much a girl, but I'm going with a fairly common male name when I legally change it. It was hard for me to go with the standard spelling though. I'm the type of person who likes names that are spelled uniquely. Unfortunately that would just set me further apart. Alot of FtMs go with unique spellings and it really does send up a red flag when you see the names. I dont want to be obvious like that

 

[Etoile]

Or Bob. No last name, just Bob. It's a palindrome.

And with a fine history, too:
http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/th_denver.jpg http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/th_bob-ross.jpg http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/th_dole.jpg http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/th_a10754.jpg http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/th_z-bob.jpg

 

[temp256]

I'm having a hard time deciding on a name. Actually, I've already decided on a surname, but not the first. I was considering Jetta for a while, but everyone immediately thinks of the car. I originally liked Emily, buy then my cousin married one. My rules are simple: people must be able to spell and pronounce it without asking.

Here's my current list in no order:
Jetta
Jutta
Jamie
Alice
Perdita
Rita
Clarissa
Katie
Melanie
Anne
Sophia

 

[John Doe]

And with a fine history, too:
http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/th_denver.jpg http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/th_bob-ross.jpg http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/th_dole.jpg http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/th_a10754.jpg http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/th_z-bob.jpg

Fuck you.