Chokin' Chickens

[anonamouse]

Whatever happened to Uncle Pervey?
Haven't seen him around.

 

[4degrees]

stroke
choke
taste like chicken
are you chicken?
lick and stick
creamed out
ribbons
stricken and
self smitten
drive me to
brinkin'
lust drink as
i sink deep
into me
choked and smothered
my best lover
never number
any other
jack it worn out
back beat meat
man,
fuckit sweet and
bring me off again...


nope, i haven't seen him.

 

[bogusbrig]

Whatever happened to Uncle Pervey?
Haven't seen him around.

How come it has taken so long for him to be missed? He is the most honest poet here!

 

[WickedEve]

Whatever happened to Uncle Pervey?
Haven't seen him around.

I've also been wondering what happened to him. Isn't he like really, really old? Maybe he had a stroke (other than his usual stroking--and if he did, then god forgive me for the joke.)

 

[twelveoone]

I remember at one point he was writing everthing with "quotation marks" - some one blasted him with a really low score, I did too, but with a higher one. His next "submission" had twice as many "quotes". After that he used them more judiciously.
Now there was a guy who knew how to write...with some organ....not sure it was a heart.

 

[My Erotic Tale]

You still got a sore toe 1201<grin>

or just letting every one know where your non typing hand is <grin>

 

[twelveoone]

You still got a sore toe 1201<grin>

or just letting every one know where your non typing hand is <grin>

what do you mean by this?

 

[My Erotic Tale]

A CHICKEN CHOKER
A CHICKEN CHOKER

Well I never...
well okay once


just the other day I was out in the hen house and that dang speckled hen wouldn't get out of the box so I could get the egg. She literaly pecked at me to keep me from getting my breakfast. I reached out and grabbed her and she began a 'squawking' flapping wings and carrying on so. Then she stopped, limp as a wash cloth I just felt awefull, I had choked a chicken. Now I knew what I was having for breakfast and dinner, well I layed the hen down and grabbed the egg. That was when 'Bruce Lee' come in and snatched my chicken and ran off. what do you think I did? I went after 'Bruce' I was gonna kick his ass for stealing my chicken. I layed the eggs down and ran after 'Bruce lee' I caught that dog in the corner of the fence and got my chicken back. When I went to get the eggs one of them was broken. Of course ole Bruce was lapping it up faster than wine to a wine-o.

I got one egg that morning and southern fried chicken that night ...the day I choked a chicken...I wrestled with the thought of this and finally I slipped off to slumber land about.....1201

 

[My Erotic Tale]

when I read this all I get out of it is you still got a splinter in your soul that has my name on it...sorry amigo,

you don't feel you are over critical? Constructive...comment? or verbal lashing?


well.....
10/09/05 by sack in USA
MET and I have had our differences (!), but this has a certain amount of naive charm. There is innocence suggested, almost like two gullible teens thinking no one else exists. While I don't think it is among Art's best work, the previous comment seems a bit overboard.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.



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10/09/05 by twelveoone
A really bad collection of cliches, cheap sentiment, or is that just sediment of nothing new to say, even dipping into forced rhyme "we both just want to scream". Your "friends" to do wish to tell you this, and you do wish to listen.
Yes I gave you a 50, it is as low as I mark, it doesn't even deserve that.
I am tired of YOUR critical attitude of anyone pointing out the faults of a "poem". Remember the email, you sent me slamming the one I got an "E" - that you didn't agree with. That is what is known as inconsistency, your best work shows evidence of it. This one doesn't - it is just bad.
Yes, I have the balls to leave my number - 1201

 

[anonamouse]

A CHICKEN CHOKER
A CHICKEN CHOKER

Well I never...
well okay once


just the other day I was out in the hen house and that dang speckled hen wouldn't get out of the box so I could get the egg. She literaly pecked at me to keep me from getting my breakfast. I reached out and grabbed her and she began a 'squawking' flapping wings and carrying on so. Then she stopped, limp as a wash cloth I just felt awefull, I had choked a chicken. Now I knew what I was having for breakfast and dinner, well I layed the hen down and grabbed the egg. That was when 'Bruce Lee' come in and snatched my chicken and ran off. what do you think I did? I went after 'Bruce' I was gonna kick his ass for stealing my chicken. I layed the eggs down and ran after 'Bruce lee' I caught that dog in the corner of the fence and got my chicken back. When I went to get the eggs one of them was broken. Of course ole Bruce was lapping it up faster than wine to a wine-o.

I got one egg that morning and southern fried chicken that night ...the day I choked a chicken...I wrestled with the thought of this and finally I slipped off to slumber land about.....1201

interesting story, looks a bit yingyang to me

 

[twelveoone]

when I read this all I get out of it is you still got a splinter in your soul that has my name on it...sorry amigo,

you don't feel you are over critical? Constructive...comment? or verbal lashing?


well.....
10/09/05 by sack in USA
MET and I have had our differences (!), but this has a certain amount of naive charm. There is innocence suggested, almost like two gullible teens thinking no one else exists. While I don't think it is among Art's best work, the previous comment seems a bit overboard.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*
10/09/05 by twelveoone
A really bad collection of cliches, cheap sentiment, or is that just sediment of nothing new to say, even dipping into forced rhyme "we both just want to scream". Your "friends" to do wish to tell you this, and you do wish to listen.
Yes I gave you a 50, it is as low as I mark, it doesn't even deserve that.
I am tired of YOUR critical attitude of anyone pointing out the faults of a "poem". Remember the email, you sent me slamming the one I got an "E" - that you didn't agree with. That is what is known as inconsistency, your best work shows evidence of it. This one doesn't - it is just bad.
Yes, I have the balls to leave my number - 1201

IF you think it deserves more than a 50, explain why, I am an easy sell. If you think I am wrong explain why, I will apologise, something I don't remember you ever doing.

I am tired of YOUR critical attitude, your political posturing, your nasty little digs at anyone THAT doesn't think of you as some down-home genius. And the "poem" sucked. Just my opinion of course.

 

[My Erotic Tale]

IF you think it deserves more than a 50, explain why, I am an easy sell. If you think I am wrong explain why, I will apologise, something I don't remember you ever doing.

I am tired of YOUR critical attitude, your political posturing, your nasty little digs at anyone THAT doesn't think of you as some down-home genius. And the "poem" sucked. Just my opinion of course.

hehehe somebody got a hole in there bucket of patience?
I have never claimed to be a 'genus' on the contrary. <<Wooops, big words>
I disagree with the river poem, it has a depth that I enjoyed, rather you did or not. I find that those that read poems with a magnifying glass only see the grains of sand and the leaves and not the mountain's reflection in a beautiful lake setting. SIMPLE...

FIRST OFF ratings don't effect me, it is the commentor's tone that usually sparks my replys, wicked eve is what I concider the perfect critic and have you ever seen me reply to her comments ...NO...know why? Cause they are not always inspirational but they are never talking DOWN to anyone. Your style of comments leads most to believe you have a strange infactuation <<oops another big word>with telling people what is wrong with their poem...

I find comfort in this...Peter Ruby...<stories are spawned from imagination alone, then there are those who lack imagination and they become editors and critics that work the story to be readable to the public, a process that has been since the first word written.

12, you rarely write poems,
you always comment as if your knowledgable yet bow like a servant to those that you feel are intellectuals. It is strange but I accept you for you. I haven't spat back at you through all these HATE posts you place on my threads. You got a problem with me? what 'dig' comments? and critical attitude?

roll up your sleves little poodle a big dog is barking NOW!


and one more time......."What am I suppose to apologize for?"

 

[WickedEve]

hehehe somebody got a hole in there bucket of patience?
I have never claimed to be a 'genus' on the contrary. <<Wooops, big words>
I disagree with the river poem, it has a depth that I enjoyed, rather you did or not. I find that those that read poems with a magnifying glass only see the grains of sand and the leaves and not the mountain's reflection in a beautiful lake setting. SIMPLE...

FIRST OFF ratings don't effect me, it is the commentor's tone that usually sparks my replys, wicked eve is what I concider the perfect critic and have you ever seen me reply to her comments ...NO...know why? Cause they are not always inspirational but they are never talking DOWN to anyone. Your style of comments leads most to believe you have a strange infactuation <<oops another big word>with telling people what is wrong with their poem...

Art. Contrary isn't a big word. Art. What's infactuation? Infatuation is what you meant, right? It's not a big word. Huge is a big word.
Sigh. I need to get back to my punu.
Oh, just saw the critic comment. I'm not a perfect critic. I'm just a sexy woman with an opinion. Sigh--again. God help me, I really am sexy. So who in the fuck needs to be inspirational?

 

[My Erotic Tale]

Art. Contrary isn't a big word. Art. What's infactuation? Infatuation is what you meant, right? It's not a big word. Huge is a big word.
Sigh. I need to get back to my punu.
Oh, just saw the critic comment. I'm not a perfect critic. I'm just a sexy woman with an opinion. Sigh--again. God help me, I really am sexy. So who in the fuck needs to be inspirational?

I dew!

 

[twelveoone]

hehehe somebody got a hole in there bucket of patience?
I have never claimed to be a 'genus' on the contrary. <<Wooops, big words>
I disagree with the river poem, it has a depth that I enjoyed, rather you did or not. I find that those that read poems with a magnifying glass only see the grains of sand and the leaves and not the mountain's reflection in a beautiful lake setting. SIMPLE...

FIRST OFF ratings don't effect me, it is the commentor's tone that usually sparks my replys, wicked eve is what I concider the perfect critic and have you ever seen me reply to her comments ...NO...know why? Cause they are not always inspirational but they are never talking DOWN to anyone. Your style of comments leads most to believe you have a strange infactuation <<oops another big word>with telling people what is wrong with their poem...

I find comfort in this...Peter Ruby...<stories are spawned from imagination alone, then there are those who lack imagination and they become editors and critics that work the story to be readable to the public, a process that has been since the first word written.

12, you rarely write poems,
you always comment as if your knowledgable yet bow like a servant to those that you feel are intellectuals. It is strange but I accept you for you. I haven't spat back at you through all these HATE posts you place on my threads. You got a problem with me? what 'dig' comments? and critical attitude?

roll up your sleves little poodle a big dog is barking NOW!


and one more time......."What am I suppose to apologize for?"

Well now Fido, sleeves are rolled up, for one you better start thinking about what you instigate.

1.)you rarely write poems - I write alot, I agree with Senns Jawa some shouldn't see the light of day, I think this advice THAT SHOULD BE TAKEN, consideriing the amount of crap submitted.
2.)you always comment as if your knowledgable - how would you know either way?
3.) bow like a servant - really? Because I agree with people on certin points. That is called sense. I will post the defination. I don't think many here think me as servile, vile perhaps, but that is a different thing.
4.) I haven't spat back at you through all these HATE posts you place on my threads. That was in response, wasn't it - they were for educational purposes. As for your threads - hmmm, how many threads? You have an Academy that celabrates igorance, a Zen that isn't, a few others that really do NOT have much to do with "poetry" or feedback.
5.)Your style of comments leads most to believe you have a strange infactuation <<oops another big word>with telling people what is wrong with their poem...
I belive it is 50/50, Yin - Yang as some would say. Including your's, chuckles.
I am sure there are some, my offer stands, show me I am wrong.

Rebut it Fido

Here is the list I expect apologies for.
1.) refering to anyone trying to analyze a poem as chicken squaking
2.)Accusing people of fixing contests because you did not win.
3.) just generally running around like an asshole if you get a comment you don't like - I've seen this before from you. Accept it - it is Zen.

Re:
I disagree with the river poem, it has a depth that I enjoyed, rather you did or not. I find that those that read poems with a magnifying glass only see the grains of sand and the leaves and not the mountain's reflection in a beautiful lake setting. SIMPLE...
I don't care what you saw - you wrote it - you posted it - I am a customer. I did not bother to look at the "grains" what I saw was the same old generatic crap I saw 1,000 times before, most of times that I saw it before,it was written better.
Don't like it - turn the comments off.

I really would go back and try to make some sense out of that Leih-Tzu story if I were you, big dog, it was a gift.

 

[bluerains]

hum,

I don't see any chickens bein choked...but , I see two sharpshooters cookin each others goose..

 

[My Erotic Tale]

from the mouth of 1201...quoted >

I can't say I really disagree with you, which seems a little pointless writing this reply.

All art on one level, whether prose, poetry, painting or music, is in someway, a self portrait. Even if you treat ones own work as delinquent children let loose on an unsuspecting world to fend for themselves, they still carry ones genes about with them. Something to remember the next time one writes a piece of crap.

I would say the next time 'I' write a piece of crap but my caterpillars have took over my cabbage and have ambitions of becoming butterflies.

I think anyone with artistic ambitions should be looking to present a slightly different view of the world which is essentially why I might find a particular poet/artist interesting. The lack of ambition to present a different view of the world and opt for the safety of craft, is the reason I find a lot of art/poetry not worthy of expecting me to invest much time and interest in it.


so...you left three comments today and two of them were 4 liners I believe and mine was 8 lines or better, you spent a lot of time telling me mine sucked...this is the thorn in your side, your words that SPAT your critic with a negative tone...

as one note to me suggested, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today..my reply was maybe if you didn't choke your chicken and get a 'woman' to do it for you <grin> maybe you won't feel compelled to tell every one your DEEP thoughts.

and your lesson is still shadowed in a riddle so far back down the trail I need not look back but toss the milk bone forward....fetch Fido <your turn>

gee aint this fun <rolls eyes>

 

[My Erotic Tale]

you are so easily knocked out 12~

quoting 12>>>
I had to pull my jaw off the floor, from grinning so much, and feeling like a boxer so helpless outclassed
Dog-ged, Damn. (multilingual mispronunciation)
Every catch, dead on, Every suggestion, correction well worthy of consideration.
Every save - I really was thinking of tossing Duchamp. Just leaving it as passed doggeral.

bows deeply and humbly

a 100 thanks, for the 100 smiles from your posts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a critic in training? with no credentials, and unwilling to share their writes
yet found a place where you can come a spill your karma on these poetic flowers like acid rain.

 

[My Erotic Tale]

by 1201


what is this that drains me
is there nothing to sustain me
A balm of gilead?

the horror of the shudder
an echo of a breath

and over parapet yonder
neither raven nor an eagle
but rather common seagull
that shits upon my window

just another view


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so others see an eagle and you do not?
you look for the shit in life and your gonna find it <grin>
that is why a house has many rooms...to feed ourselves with one
then relieve ourselves in another.
you spend way to much time in the bathroom chokin your chicken.

 

[champagne1982]

Whatever happened to Uncle Pervey?
Haven't seen him around.

I'm wondering at what point this became this

You still got a sore toe 1201<grin>

or just letting every one know where your non typing hand is <grin>

and then, this

from the mouth of 1201...quoted >

I can't say I really disagree with you, which seems a little pointless writing this reply.

All art on one level, whether prose, poetry, painting or music, is in someway, a self portrait. Even if you treat ones own work as delinquent children let loose on an unsuspecting world to fend for themselves, they still carry ones genes about with them. Something to remember the next time one writes a piece of crap.
(I am colour coding this quote so that the reader doesn't get confused over who is saying what. Henceforth, MET's words are blue. - Carrie)
I would say the next time 'I' write a piece of crap but my caterpillars have took over my cabbage and have ambitions of becoming butterflies.

I think anyone with artistic ambitions should be looking to present a slightly different view of the world which is essentially why I might find a particular poet/artist interesting. The lack of ambition to present a different view of the world and opt for the safety of craft, is the reason I find a lot of art/poetry not worthy of expecting me to invest much time and interest in it.


so...you left three comments today and two of them were 4 liners I believe and mine was 8 lines or better, you spent a lot of time telling me mine sucked...this is the thorn in your side, your words that SPAT your critic with a negative tone...

as one note to me suggested, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today..my reply was maybe if you didn't choke your chicken and get a 'woman' to do it for you <grin> maybe you won't feel compelled to tell every one your DEEP thoughts.

and your lesson is still shadowed in a riddle so far back down the trail I need not look back but toss the milk bone forward....fetch Fido <your turn>
gee aint this fun <rolls eyes>

I don't know why either of you react so harshly to the bear baiting that goes on between you. I do know that I would rather see you writing poems about it or taking your zen mysticism to pm.

 

[twelveoone]

from the mouth of 1201...quoted >

I can't say I really disagree with you, which seems a little pointless writing this reply.

All art on one level, whether prose, poetry, painting or music, is in someway, a self portrait. Even if you treat ones own work as delinquent children let loose on an unsuspecting world to fend for themselves, they still carry ones genes about with them. Something to remember the next time one writes a piece of crap.

I would say the next time 'I' write a piece of crap but my caterpillars have took over my cabbage and have ambitions of becoming butterflies.

I think anyone with artistic ambitions should be looking to present a slightly different view of the world which is essentially why I might find a particular poet/artist interesting. The lack of ambition to present a different view of the world and opt for the safety of craft, is the reason I find a lot of art/poetry not worthy of expecting me to invest much time and interest in it.


so...you left three comments today and two of them were 4 liners I believe and mine was 8 lines or better, you spent a lot of time telling me mine sucked...this is the thorn in your side, your words that SPAT your critic with a negative tone...

as one note to me suggested, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today..my reply was maybe if you didn't choke your chicken and get a 'woman' to do it for you <grin> maybe you won't feel compelled to tell every one your DEEP thoughts.

and your lesson is still shadowed in a riddle so far back down the trail I need not look back but toss the milk bone forward....fetch Fido <your turn>

gee aint this fun <rolls eyes>

Some of these quotes are not mine.

Now Fido, if the question is did your poem suck, defend it - don't tell me what a poetic flower it is, tell me why it is SO DEEP, tell me why it was better than average, instead of going into juvenile overdive.

And if you wish to live in a sheltered thread, do so. In one, not five. Academy, my ass, Zen, my ass, hell I don't even think you even worked a Blue Collar day in your life.

 

[My Erotic Tale]

Some of these quotes are not mine.

Now Fido, if the question is did your poem suck, defend it - don't tell me what a poetic flower it is, tell me why it is SO DEEP, tell me why it was better than average, instead of going into juvenile overdive.

And if you wish to live in a sheltered thread, do so. In one, not five. Academy, my ass, Zen, my ass, hell I don't even think you even worked a Blue Collar day in your life.

Your right! I own my own buisness so that makes me white collar...right?
Well I like to come here and write blue collar, what is wrong with that?

I see this like the parents that tell the kids they can not ride their bikes along the top of the fence railing. it is dangerous. You just can't do that. Your telling people to what, not live? Don't do that? I on the other hand inspire poepe to "GO FOT IT" WRrite that prose and forget what 1201 says cause he doesn't have a degree in any thing to do with literature and will find faults in everything cause he is....sick and tired of the crap..."What crap?"

People being people, you want to critic people doing what they enjoy, poetry...why not allow them to do so with out slander from you? What compells you to tell others there poem is no good. I invision some past experience you had being told your poems suck so you don't write...you go around telling others their poetry sucks?

this is the very stem of what most here have said is bad criticing... you don't see that? You feel justified telling people what is wrong with them to make your self feel better and that is a sad person.

I will leave you alone knowing your dealing with your own mind and obviously have problems with your WRITING. Most spend time writing 12 you spend yours telling others what your thoughts are on their works. I would like to see a poem by you... even if it is a guess what I am saying poem.

I noticed this since you bring it up, my threads are inspirational and fun, motivational pats on the back...yours are the same group of jackles that live to tear literary creations apart. I see the yin and the yang here. You have a problem with me and others having FUN. and enjoying poetry no matter how bad it is. Your unsettled soul compells you to eat it and spat at it....do you not see this trait in you cause several of us do, I was asked to let this go and I will, I just had to thank you for my birthday present today...an eye opener to your ways.