Children's Beauty Pagents: Parent's Obsession or Family Fun?

[MissTaken]

I watched a program on A&E today about family's who are involved in the children's Beauty Pageant Circuit.

Many of the parents were quick to point out that the pageants were fun for the children, their children enjoyed performing and competing and it was good for their self esteem.

Now, some of these children were participating in pageants two-four times per month. I was most interested in the stories involveing the five year old children, who when competing were made up and dressed like adult women.

It left me with a pit in my stomach to watch as one of the parents , who was adamant that the child liked the pageantry, shouting at her child when the little one wouldn't practice, threatening her with bedtime, telling her daddy would be upset if she didn't practice etc.

If mom was saying this in front of a television camera, I wondered what mom would say when the camera wasn't there.

Also interesting, was when this child didn't finish her routine, she began crying. Mom told her to finish it and tried to keep her on the stage. The child ran from the stage in tears and didn't run to her mom.

Is it just me, or was this indicative of something? Working with four year olds, it seems to me the natural thing for a child that age to do when frightened or upset is to seek mom. I may be wrong.

What do you think about the Beauty Pageant Circuit?

 

[Guest]

Beauty contest is an American absession.

Take a chill pill. Be a sheep.

 

[Guest]

 

[MissTaken]

Beauty contest is an American absession.

Take a chill pill. Be a sheep.

Ya, but fucking sheep is a rural obsession.

I am not "Baaaaa ing" for nobody!

 

[KillerMuffin]

Nothing quite like putting a woman up on a stage to compete with other women over perfection of "beauty." Why don't men have a beauty pageants? Oh, right. Ratings.

 

[MissTaken]

I hate those. Making a girl up to be pretty? Its sad, pathetic and I hate them. She should be pretty, and feel pretty without allo the fuss!

That is true.
It reminds me of one the children I have in my class. At four, she is very hung up on how beautiful she is, is her dress prettier than the other girls, is she prettier than the other girls. Then, to watch her family make of her, it is sad.

I believe they are setting her up to be something that she will either be very unhappy with or fail miserably at.

At four, she should be more concerned with cutting her Barbie Doll's hair and painting her nails with Elmer's Glue.

IMHO

 

[patient1]

They creep me out in a tres JonBennet way.

 

[april-wine]

Pagents are sick.....Parents using kids to fulfill their dreams....


sick sick sick

 

[MissTaken]

Nothing quite like putting a woman up on a stage to compete with other women over perfection of "beauty." Why don't men have a beauty pageants? Oh, right. Ratings.

I did some reading on line on the topic and really agree that Beauty Pageants objectify women and, in this case, children.

(A common theme in many of the articles I read.)

Then, to see how some of the parents handled the "spirit of competition?" Well, these little ones are not learning that doing your best and losing is okay.

I also dont' believe they are learning to be happy with themselves.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I wonder how horribly scarring it must be to have your mother's love be dependent on performance and appearance. I think a child needs to know that he or she is loved unconditionally, and such intense competition cannot be healthy.

 

[MissTaken]

Anytime, someone needs to look at the transient and superficial things in life to build themselves up, they are in for a big fall.

Look at child stars...another A&E program today.

Cute kids were making millions of dollars and then, had to reinvent themselves when they grew up.

Some struggled with the transition and ended up involved with drugs or even dead.

Sad, Sad, Sad.

 

[christophe]

many are just trying to relive their pathetic lives thru their children trying to claim what they so coveted but never recieved nor ever will

 

[MissTaken]

Backing up a bit

There were also teenagers involved in the pagents.

They had made their own choice about participating and seemed to enjoy it. My issue with the pageantry wasn't that girls who enjoy the pageants engage in them, but that the little girls seemed to be forced into participating and couldn't even comprehend what the purpose was, what winning meant, or anything of that nature.

At five years of age, what little girl is going to say, "I want to dress up like a woman and win a prize." Yes, they are likely to say they want to be a princess, dress up like mama and all that. But for a family to spend 20,000 dollars per year on beauty pagents for their wee one, jsut seems wrong.

Again, older gals? It can be a learning experience if conducted with proper perspective and support from the family.

If my daughter told me she wanted to do a pageant at age 12 , I might consider it as I would any other extra curricular activity they show an interest in.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

They don't even dress the 5 year olds up to look like women, they paint them up like little prostitutes...it is seriously disturbing to see a little tiny girl, still 7-9 years away from puberty, wiggling her hips like a hooker.

 

[MissTaken]

They don't even dress the 5 year olds up to look like women, they paint them up like little prostitutes...it is seriously disturbing to see a little tiny girl, still 7-9 years away from puberty, wiggling her hips like a hooker.

One of the littlest ones did a dance routine to "Big Spender."

In the old days, this tune was used in strip clubs.

 

[christophe]

Re: Backing up a bit

If my daughter told me she wanted to do a pageant at age 12 , I might consider it as I would any other extra curricular activity they show an interest in.

exactly if they are interested then that is one thing....parents who push their own children into these situations...well its pathetic really

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Backing up a bit

exactly if they are interested then that is one thing....parents who push their own children into these situations...well its pathetic really

Actually, I think that it is the same, no matter the activity.

Children who are pressed to succeed at something they dont' enjoy, are going to be unhappy and eventually act out, IMHO.

Then, there are times that the parent's pressure makes something they enjoy be more of a chore than fun.

For example, my ex is a man with little tolerance and is big on how the children compete. In Kindergarten, my son would have uncontrollable crying jags if he colored out of the lines. Why? Because he heard his dad yelling at him for not coloring in the lines. We had to cut out the pictures that he made mistakes on so the mistakes wouldn't show.

We, my ex and I, have spent the last two years trying to teach our son not to be a perfectionist, not to stress over the little things and to accept mistakes. It hasn't been easy, but the coloring thing was one small red flag among many.

Rambling now.......

 

[christophe]

Re: Re: Re: Backing up a bit

Actually, I think that it is the same, no matter the activity.

Children who are pressed to succeed at something they dont' enjoy, are going to be unhappy and eventually act out, IMHO.

Then, there are times that the parent's pressure makes something they enjoy be more of a chore than fun.

For example, my ex is a man with little tolerance and is big on how the children compete. In Kindergarten, my son would have uncontrollable crying jags if he colored out of the lines. Why? Because he heard his dad yelling at him for not coloring in the lines. We had to cut out the pictures that he made mistakes on so the mistakes wouldn't show.

We, my ex and I, have spent the last two years trying to teach our son not to be a perfectionist, not to stress over the little things and to accept mistakes. It hasn't been easy, but the coloring thing was one small red flag among many.

Rambling now.......

i agree... teaching your children to accept their mistakes and learn from them is probablly the most realistic way to raise them....teaching them to avoid or not make a mistake is setting them up for a lifetime of dissapointment....and more likely, therapy

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

They are disgusting and pathetic....

they are not child beauty pageants...they are parent beauty pageants for children...same goes for anything where the child loses free-will....skaters and gymnasts who "practice" 5 hours a day to "reach their dream," to those forced to study at home for the same 5 hours a day so, "they can get into a good school."

Kids are supposed to have fun...be kids...stay innocent....and be protected. That is why I rarely watch ice skating, gymnastics and NEVER watch any beauty pageant.

Besides, just thinking about adults, the best babes are located in lit anyways...

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I think anything that interferes with a child's upbringing can be dangerous. I was one of those 'child prodigy' types, and teh pressure that my parents and teachers put on me did me some small damage. If I hadn't been pushed so hard, i would have developed normally. Instead, I became socially stunted, ground my teeth down to nubs from the stress, and had 2 ulcers before i was 10. I gave up completely for a few years, started failing classes out of apathy, and eventually, my parents got the hint, backed off, and I did ok in school.
The point is, when you force your expectations on someone who is still struggling with shoelaces, you are setting them up for later problems.

 

[medjay]

Why don't men have a beauty pageants? Oh, right. Ratings.

I remember when FOX aired the sexy guy pageant. It was hilarious because none of the men seemed to be too concerned one way or the other. By the time the last guy finally won, all the other fellas started jumping around congratulating him and one another like they had all just won the big game. I bet they all went out for drinks together afterward.

 

[aly*]

I saw that, too. I think it's really sad and cruel. But i liked your rambling, MissTaken! You are making a lot of sense. Great questions.

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Backing up a bit

i agree... teaching your children to accept their mistakes and learn from them is probablly the most realistic way to raise them....teaching them to avoid or not make a mistake is setting them up for a lifetime of dissapointment....and more likely, therapy

*smirks*

IT was exactly that point , re: therapy, that helped to motivate my ex into an open discussion concerning the matter.

 

[MissTaken]

I saw that, too. I think it's really sad and cruel. But i liked your rambling, MissTaken! You are making a lot of sense. Great questions.

I was really hoping that Jennifer had won.

Jennifer was a 14 year old with systic fibrosis. For her, these pageants were likely to be her life's aspirations and yes, the program closed with an announcement of her death not too long after the taping of the program.

 

[phrodeau]

If you want to read a scathing, outrageous and hilarious exposé of children's beauty pageants (among other things), check out this book:
"The Harmon Chronicles" by Harmon Leon.

He's a sort of modern-age George Plimpton with the drive of Michael Moore.