Childish moments

[Gingersnap]

I was watching some little kids play today and it struck me how easily they make up their own truths and rules. Besides the obvious Easter Bunny and Santa Claus what were some of your early childhood truths.

I had several that I still remember mostly told to me by my gramps. I did believe anything he said so keep that in mind.

If you eat all candy by twos it will last longer.
(I never said they had to make sense)

If you held your breath long enough under water you would see a whale.

The glaciers were really made of rock candy.

When you flew in a plane children didnt get parachutes.

If my sister Jean screamed for longer then a minute I would lose my hearing.

Those are just a few on this Friday nite. I am sick with bronchitis and very bored. Anybody want to play?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

While playing war if you pulled the bullet out you wouldn't die.

I thought Arfica was a single country.

And the biggest myth of all -- Girls mature faster than boys.

 

[*Eve*]

When I was a kid I could flip my eyelid over, and someone told me that if someone blew in it or the wind was blowing when you did that it would get stuck that way forever.
I use to also believe if you dug far enough you could make it to China.

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

I had a bunch of these childhood truths.

**I thought that before the days of color television, the world was in black and white. (the technology didn't change, the world did).

**I thought if you stood on your head and talked, the words would come out "upside down". I have no idea what "upside down words" would sound like, but I was sure it would happen.

**I also thought that if you talked into a bottle and closed it up quickly with a cork or cap, the words would be trapped inside, and then later, after removing the cap, your words would rush out and you'd hear them as if you'd just spoken them.

**I thought that if you played a blank tape on a stereo and turned the volume knob all the way up, it would cancel out all the noise in the room, so you couldn't hear yourself talk.

Ok, I think I've embarrassed myself enough now. Over the years, I've become something of a skeptic, believing mostly in that which is proven. I think that's partially the reason I chose to pursue science and medicine and partially a consequence of my education in those subjects.

Still, as ridiculous as these naive notions are, they have an inherent "truth" to them. The truths are about our own nature, though, and not the laws of physics. So, even if it's silly that I thought world would eventually become so congested with dead people that all the land would become one big graveyard, forcing us to live at sea, you might just think to yourself, "that Ollie was one weird kid (and that explains a lot about him now), but I can kinda see where he was comin' from. Come to think of it, that graveyard 'cross town just keeps growing and growing..."



[Edited by Oliver Clozoff on 08-25-2000 at 04:09 PM]

 

[Earthgoddess]

Thank Goodness I had a Pop-Pop who knew everything-
according to him, these are facts:

Eating steamed crabs and ice cream together in the same night will kill you-combo is toxic. Still never have done this-and never will, could be a horrible way to die.

Crawfish can and often do grow to the size of small vehicles-careful where you poke your toes in the mud-damn fine advice.

Hunting is wrong because animals can't shoot guns-hunting is only fair if either the animals are armed or the hunters are not-still believe this too.

My own father had me thoroughly convinced for about a year that pepperonis were bonless members of the weasel family and were flushed from their tunnels and skinned.
And that a bug-a-boo lived in between the floors and ceilings in my grandmother's house...it apparently feasted on the froggy-bats that lurked in the heating grates-He now lives in the same creepy Victorian that terrified me as a child and my son always checks for froggy-bats, since he is eye level with the vents.

I also believed that while sharing was right, being a copy-cat was wrong. Tattling on my sister was necessary-tattling on myself was a preventive-and tattling on my buddies earned me a wedgie.
I knew for a fact that the tooth fairy looked like tinkerbelle, and our old teeth were ground up and reformed into teeth for old people.
Santa positively, absolutely would not come unless we were sound asleep.
And after one unfortunate egg/basket hunt I learned that it is good luck if the bunny poops in your basket-apparently you get 10$,I have never been blessed with the sacred pellets since but I clearly remeber feeling quite priveleged to have earned the Bunny's indiviual attention.

Thank you for a brief and enlightening look at my childhood-since I had crabs for dinner I'll be enjoying a nice piece of melon now...Yes,I know as a chef that there is no amazing chemical interplay between thesee two foods-but really why risk it?

 

[Sonora]

I wouldn't eat any type of egg besides scrambled. I just KNEW that if I ate an egg that was still 'together' that it would grow into a chick! It only made sense to this little girl--babies grew in women's (girls) bellies and baby chickens came from eggs. For some reason I believed if it was mixed up (scrambled) that I would be ok.

 

[Jade]

I use to also believe if you dug far enough you could make it to China.

YEA!! Me too Eve!!
LMAO!!
I had this HUGE hole dug in my back yard... I came home from school and dug a little bit every day.. and I kept anticipating the day when I would reach China, and see all the pointy sun hats and make new friends in a foriegn land!
LOL

 

[Cheri]

I remember desperately wanting Gerald Ford to get reelected because anyone smart enough to build our car should be the president.
I KNEW that if you left a closet door open just a crack, whatever it was that lived in closets would be able to see when the coast was clear and come out and get you. Still hate any closet to be cracked open.
I knew that if you blew on whatever piece of food you dropped on the floor, it would be sanitized.
If you turned off the television the program you were watching would be instantly frozen until you turned it on again.
When you kissed you were just supposed to press your closed lips together, nothing more.
That a man gave his wife a testicle to have a baby, that was why most people only had two kids. I mean it was only the women who had more than one husband who had more than two kids.
That boys would eventually stop acting do dorky and grow up.
Um ladies, why did let Dixon get away with that last comment? Really, I'm curious.

 

[Jade]

And the biggest myth of all -- Girls mature faster than boys.

Oh good point good point.. haha.. children and their "understatements"....

Correction for modern, adult times...

"Girls mature [way the fuck] faster than boys."

There ya go Cheri... happy?
(You realize he won't let me get away with this don't you?)

 

[lethal_heartbreaker]

the only childish thing i was told was, if you made a face and someone smacked you on your back it would stay that way

 

[Cheri]

"Girls mature [way the fuck] faster than boys."

There ya go Cheri... happy?
(You realize he won't let me get away with this don't you?)
[/QUOTE]
Think of it this way Jade, you have now earned my eternal respect and devotion. I noticed when I first joined that some women on here swooned before any man and ate up any mindless drivel they spat out. Now I like men as much as the next girl, but come off it, ridiculous comments require a response, no?
As for you Dixon, in sixth grade I was 11, not only was I menstrating by that point, but I could look down and see boobs. Lessee, had you even started your 'time to change' as Peter Brady so eloquently sang or not...doubt it.


[Edited by Cheri on 08-29-2000 at 11:16 AM]

 

[Jade]

Cheri...

Always glad to have a new comrade on the BB!

As for DCL, he is an exception which is probalby why no one said anything to him. He is what you can call one of the "untouchables" and as I mentioned... he will get me for it, wait and see...

 

[Never]

Eve: "I use to also believe if you dug far enough you could make it to China."
If you could, you would.

Earthgoddess: "Eating steamed crabs and ice cream together in the same night will kill you-combo is toxic. Still never have done this-and never will, could be a horrible way to die."
I've done this on several birthdays and have always lived to see my next - I think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Jade]

Cheri...

Always glad to have a new comrade on the BB!

As for DCL, he is an exception which is probably why no one said anything to him. He is what you can call one of the "untouchables" and as I mentioned... he will get me for it, wait and see...

 

[KillerMuffin]

I forgot all my personal kidisms, but my husband still comes up with doozies

Jade, DCL is absolute correct in this instance. It is a myth that girls mature faster than boys. Boys simply don't mature.

Oh come on DCL, you left yourself wide open for that one, even I saw it.

For some reason my kid is convinced that he is only four badges away from joining the pokemon league. Until he gets them he can't go to first grade.

He also thinks that the dog has magic spots that keep bad things away at night and his dog breath scares away monsters.

He is convinced mommy kisses are better than aspirin.

He also gives magic hugs that make mommy's head feel better.

 

[Tamtam]

1. I was completely convinced that if i kept my entire boy covered by my blanket in bed (even on the hotest nights) that i would be protected from any danger.

2. My grandpa told me that if i swallowed watermelon seeds that they would grow into melons in my tummy.

 

[Jade]

Kill Muff: LMAO!!
Woo hoo! (applause)

Tam Tam... are you male or female? I ask this b/c if you are a female... did you think that that was what had happened to pregnant women? Your grandpa could have really gotten you with that! LOL .. but then.. that would have been a little twisted huh...

 

[Whispersecret]

Some things I was told or believed as a kid:

If you leave rice in your bowl uneaten, that's how many pock marks your future spouse will have.

If you leave any part of your anatomy hanging off the mattress, some THING will hack it off or something horrific like that in the middle of the night.

If you sleep on your back with your hands folded on your tummy or on your chest, a vampire will come suck out your blood.

If you twisted the stem of an apple and said a letter of the alphabet for each complete twist, the letter you stopped on would be the first letter in the name of your future spouse.

The light in the refrigerator was on all the time.

If you didn't have a fireplace, Santa came in the front door.

Someday Donny Osmond would realize what a catch I was and come ask my father for my hand in marriage. (After all, we were both Sagitarrius.)

 

[Cheri]

Originally posted by Jade
He is what you can call one of the "untouchables" and as I mentioned... he will get me for it, wait and see...

Untouchable? Cause he writes good stories, or he can tie cherry stems in a knot with his tongue? Personally the only male I would allow a comment like that sail on by without some sort of sarcastic quip would be my 3 year old. In his case, tickling until breathless and telling him whatever his Daddy had told him was silly would suffice.
I thought of another one: For several terrifying moments I thought the vet was going to make spaghetti out of the worms our dog had. Damn that man for telling me such disgusting nonsense, but the look on my face must have been priceless.

[Edited by Cheri on 08-29-2000 at 11:17 AM]

 

[Ian1]

If you kiss your elbow you will transform into the opposite sex. (think of the possabilities!)

If you sneeze while your eyes are crossed, they stay that way.

There are such a thing as land sharks that "swim" in the dirt with their fin above ground level.

 

[Gingersnap]

OMG just thought of a good one. We had open stairs from our basement to the first floor and if you turned off the light and did not run fast enough a drooling snarling monster would grab your feet and pull you behind the stairs and kill you!!

All nuns ate small children and that's why they wore those habits it was a disguise.

If you crossed your fingers while lying in confession God would forgive you.

That coveting your neighbors wife meant you wanted to bleach your hair like Mrs Going.

That commiting adultrey was when you hit your bratty sister in the belly.

That the word fuck was a german word that meant to hang up side down on the monkey bars. (Hey I went to Catholic School what do ya want)

Oh Dixon dear you have such an amusing way about you and to think I used to think you a nice guy... Joined the ranks of the midwest are all a group of hee haw extras have we?

 

[CreamyLady]

Step on a crack; break your mother's back. I can't tell you many times I essentially hopped home from school.

Until adolescence, when I made it a priority to step on every damned one. My mom and I had -- have -- issues.

Eating the crusts of the bread made my hair curl.

I knew the apple one, too. It's funny. I never got beyond "D", and my ex husband's name is Dave.

I would never sleep with my back to the closet door; Dracula lived in the attic and would use the crawl space in our closet cupboard to come down and kill me. This was stupid; I never missed a horror movie on TV in my life, and I seldom slept well.

The only thing to make a rainy day bearable, particularly after a really horrible day at school, was hot chocolate and cinnamon toast. I still think that.

 

[Tamtam]

Tam Tam... are you male or female? I ask this b/c if you are a female... did you think that that was what had happened to pregnant women? Your grandpa could have really gotten you with that! LOL .. but then.. that would have been a little twisted huh...
__________________
~Jade


let me take a look..yep...just as i thought...im a female.
as a matter of fact..i did belive that..kinda scary huh. with my wild imagination and the little bits of info that i knew about the "birds and the bees" it all made sense. needless to say i avoided eating those seeds...even the white ones which they said were ok to eat...

tam

 

[*Eve*]

I use to believe that if you combine pop rocks and coke your stomach would expolde just like that kid Mickey from the life commercials. I was a pretty gullible kid.

 

[Wizard]

Me too, Me too...................