Childhood Funny Stuff

[Laurel]

When I was a kid, I thought it was really funny to write these words on a piece of paper, then hand them to grown-ups and ask them to read them:

eye yam sofa king we todd did

Us kids would also dare each other to go up to the teacher and say, "Teacher may I" then spell the word "cup". ("Teacher, may I c-u-p?" it's a knee-slapper at 9.)

What jokes were funny for you & your childhood peers?

 

[Siren]

Call someone up and ask

 

[android1966]

I remember something similar but the words were:

Whale Oil Beef Oct

 

[lickerish]

How about when you had someone hold the tip of their tongue between their fingers.. and say a sentence that included the word 'purse', like "I like your purse".

Heh.. what a dorky age.

 

[Laurel]

LOL! Or you'd hold your tongue and say "My dad works in the shipyard cleaning ships" or "Kiss my big red apple".

 

[Siren]

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

 

[BlazeofLife]

Hold your tongue, and say:
"I was born on a pirate ship with three apples."

I still find that one funny.
Go figure.

Blaze

 

[VanB]

There was a really silly joke that used to have me rolling around every time and still makes me smile.

What's brown and sticky?



















a stick of course! LOL

 

[Draco]

Slightly off the track, but indulge me anyway

An advert being played on NZ television at the moment, cracks me up every time, should be on Bill Cosby's "Kids Say The Darndest Things" show.

The scene is grandma's birthday party, the ad opens with Grandma blowing out the candles to the tune of "Happy Birthday" The daughter reaches into shot and kisses her mom on the cheek before removing the cake to cut it, the camera pans to Grandma's left and sitting in the chair next to her is 4 yr old grandson, he leans toward Grandma and says "Grandma, I wrote you a poem at kindy, want to hear it? grandma replies, "Of course I would. The grandson pipes up

"the boy stood on the burning deck,
his pockets full of crackers, (meaning fireworks - bangers)
one dropped down his trouser leg
and blew off both his kn.....

Mom sweeps in and places a serviette over his mouth quickly while smiling at her mother. The packets slides into view - Deko Serviettes.

I guess you have to see it for the full impact, I just about 'lost my coffee' the first time I saw it.

 

[freescorfr]

Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou - a monk swimmin' -

 

[Draco]

I'm not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant pluckers son,
But I will pluck the pheasants till the pheasant plucker comes.

Try saying it 3 times really quickly:

I really am a pleasant fucker...honest

 

[SilverVeil]

I had some asinine compulsion for elephant jokes.

 

[MunchinMark]

Charley had a pigeon, a pigeon, a pigeon
Charley had a pigeon, a pigeon, he had
It flew through the day and it flew through the night and when it came home it was covered in/Buttons brass buttons four for a tuppence or nick 'em from Woolworths they're cheap at the price.

You've really got to try and imaging five or so small boys with Northern accents singing this on the bus home.

It was funny watching people put in the rhyme that you never said.

 

[Guest]

 

[Bindii]

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
But Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
So he wasn't Fuzzy Wuzzy woz he?

And

Georgie porgie puddin `n pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too cause he was gay


I can't believe we used to crack up at these!

 

[Feelin' Naughty]

Love this thread!

*holding the tip of my tongue repeating all of these phrases*

 

[bored1]

Calling a bowling alley and asking for Jack Mehoff.

 

[DulceCrema]

What's grosser than gross?

And we'd go on for hours...
Eating a bowl of rice and one crawls away
Eating a bowl of frosted flakes to find out that your sister lost her scab collection
Dreaming about eating chocolate pudding and waking up with a spoon in your butt
Falling off the Empire State Building and landing on a bicycle with no seat

...and so on and so forth

And there was always the good ol' dozens..

Yo momma's got a steel wool afro with rusty sideburns

...and many, many, many more

Was just so entertaining back then...

 

[alexandraaah]

Have someone put their arms over their head, closing their hands making a circle.

Tell them to spell the word "image" then say lightbulb.


totally we todd did.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Anyone who could make farting nosies with his armpit was a comedy god.

 

[Wiggles]

The one that I still hear is,

What's your name?

How do you spell it?

No! I said how do you spell IT??

Oh, lord that get's annoying!

 

[Southern37]

Re: Call someone up and ask

is your refrigerator running>?

when they answered yes.

Say........

Well you better go catch it then,
and hang up.


hahahaha......
dem was da days.

God ive done that a million times..plus the prince albert in a can routine. Youll get a kick out of this..my niece answered the phone at their house. I happened to know they had recieved a new refridgerator but had not removed the old one. So, I proceed to act like a county official and let her know that 2 refridgerators are against code...and made her unplug one!

Damn it was funny....guess you had to be there...

 

[riff]

OK, here's 2

Do you know how to catch polar bears? Well, polar bears love peas. The actually do go crazy over them. So what you do is cut a round hole in the ice and then place peas all around it. Then, when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole!

Shit, I forgot what the other one was.

Well, lets see.

Tragedy at the Cliff, by Eileen Dover
Off the High Dive, by Hugo First
Spots on the Wall, by Hu Flung Du
The Tiger's Revenge, by Claude Balls

And my favorite: Under the Bleachers, by C. U. Peeng

 

[riff]

Calling a bowling alley and asking for Jack Mehoff.

Better, ask them to page Mike Hunt!

 

[alexandraaah]

Let's see if this one translates via a post:

you have someone say the word "bears" before and after each word. Then have them do it again. Then have them read it straight down, out loud.

look
how
long
i
made
this
ass
hole
talk
about
bears

It's really not funny. Ha.