Cheney Resigns! (not From The Onion!)

[shereads]

No, my friends, this is from The New York Times. This is REAL.

Cheney resigns, gives nod to probable successor

Thursday, June 28, 2007 12:39 AM CDT

BY PATRICK GUINANE

INDIANAPOLIS | State Rep. Duane Cheney, D-Portage, filed his resignation papers Wednesday and is suggesting Portage city planner A.J. Monroe as his successor.

"I"m done. I turned in a resignation," Cheney said after delivering an immediate resignation to Democratic House Speaker Pat Bauer and the state party. "There's just so much going on in my life, my mother has just entered hospice care ...."

A lawmaker since 1998, Cheney had considered completing the final year of his term but decided he was ready to hand off to Monroe.

"He's just really a very talented young man," said Cheney, 58.. "His position (as city planner) is actually knowing what's needed from government."

 

[lisa123414]

You my dear, are such a tease!

 

[Seattle Zack]

Well, it could be worse, neocons could be calling for his impeachment.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Phooey, you actually had me hoping-- but nothing less than all-out something horrible would cause that man to let go.

I wish Duane well.

 

[3113]

No, my friends, this is from The New York Times. This is REAL.

Cheney resigns, gives nod to probable successor

You big meanie! How could you get our hopes up like that?

 

[SlickTony]

What 3113 said.

 

[shereads]

You big meanie! How could you get our hopes up like that?

I found the story at this blog, Wonkette, and naturally assumed it was satirical - until I saw the link to the full story at the New York freakin' Times! I knew it was too good to be true, but couldn't help feeling stabbed with a painful shard of hope (Not that Dick's resignation would solve much, at this point. But still.)

When I followed the link and read the opening, it was like learning I'd won the LOTTERY, then realizing I'd actually won LOX at a BAKERY.

These comments are typical of Wonkette's blog participants in response to the Cheney hoax:

"You. Mother. Fuckers."

"I hate you."

"Wonkette has stared too long into the abyss."

I wrote them a brief thank-you for having played badminton with my amygala, further noting that I am on medication.