Cheating

[BiggDogg91]

I have a personal question to ask to everyone on Literotica? Is it okay for a woman to have fun on the side? I have heard that women should be happy. Let me give you my opinion on this. Ladies if you are not going to be faithful, don't get into no kind of relationship.

 

[Madxgirl]

What do you think women do here?

 

[BiggDogg91]

What do you think women do here?

I don't care what other people do. I'm just trying to understand what makes a woman think that she can have fun on the side.

 

[Madxgirl]

I don't care what other people do. I'm just trying to understand what makes a woman think that she can have fun on the side.

Why got you to come here?

 

[BiggDogg91]

Why got you to come here?

To read the stories. Then I found this side of Literotica. As I began to read a few posts. I noticed a bunch of them were about cheating. I decided to try and understand what cheating is.

 

[Cogan]

To read the stories. Then I found this side of Literotica. As I began to read a few posts. I noticed a bunch of them were about cheating. I decided to try and understand what cheating is.

The short answer is that cheating is when you have to hide and sneak around with what you are doing so your wife or husband doesn't discover whatever you are doing. And that scale of what you have to hide all depends on what your agreements on what is ok to do are.

 

[BiggDogg91]

The short answer is that cheating is when you have to hide and sneak around with what you are doing so your wife or husband doesn't discover whatever you are doing. And that scale of what you have to hide all depends on what your agreements on what is ok to do are.

I kinda understand now

 

[Jimmy119_190]

I kinda understand now

Did your previous account get booted off the site?

 

[MaturemanAJ]

Each person seems to have their own definition of cheating. Some think coming to this site is cheating well if it's this site, porn sites whatever then 85 percent of the worlds population are cheaters.
You decide for yourself what's cheating, I have had people say " eating ain't cheating" I am guessing most people would disagree with that statement.

 

[BiggDogg91]

Did your previous account get booted off the site?

No it did not get booted off of the site. I got locked out of my old email account. So I had to get a new email account.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

I have a personal question to ask to everyone on Literotica? Is it okay for a woman to have fun on the side? I have heard that women should be happy. Let me give you my opinion on this. Ladies if you are not going to be faithful, don't get into no kind of relationship.

Is it okay for a woman to have fun on the side?
Let’s reframe your question: Is it okay for any human to prioritize their needs ethically and consensually?

Your take reeks of hypocrisy. Why single out women? If loyalty matters, it’s a standard for all partners—not a cage for one gender. Healthy relationships aren’t built on policing bodies; they’re built on mutual respect and clear agreements.

3 facts you’re ignoring:

1. Monogamy isn’t the default. Some couples negotiate openness. Others prioritize emotional fidelity. Judging strangers’ arrangements without context is arrogant.
2. Happiness ≠ ownership. Telling women to “be happy” in silence while men roam freely is a tired double standard. Trust is earned, not gendered.
3. Cheating ≠ autonomy. There’s a vast difference between ethical non-monogamy (transparent, agreed-upon) and betrayal. Conflating the two is lazy.

Try asking better questions:

1. How can couples communicate desires without shame?
2. Why do we judge women’s sexuality harsher than men’s?

Until then, your “strong opinion” is just recycled sexism with extra steps.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

Is it okay for a woman to have fun on the side?
Let’s reframe your question: Is it okay for any human to prioritize their needs ethically and consensually?

Your take reeks of hypocrisy. Why single out women? If loyalty matters, it’s a standard for all partners—not a cage for one gender. Healthy relationships aren’t built on policing bodies; they’re built on mutual respect and clear agreements.

3 facts you’re ignoring:

1. Monogamy isn’t the default. Some couples negotiate openness. Others prioritize emotional fidelity. Judging strangers’ arrangements without context is arrogant.
2. Happiness ≠ ownership. Telling women to “be happy” in silence while men roam freely is a tired double standard. Trust is earned, not gendered.
3. Cheating ≠ autonomy. There’s a vast difference between ethical non-monogamy (transparent, agreed-upon) and betrayal. Conflating the two is lazy.

Try asking better questions:

1. How can couples communicate desires without shame?
2. Why do we judge women’s sexuality harsher than men’s?

Until then, your “strong opinion” is just recycled sexism with extra steps.

In a perfect world, in a perfect relationship with a person that will openly discuss these things you are spot on. Problem is that a huge percentage of relationships don't have that and never will.

I will personally discuss anything on rhis topic openly and honestly with my spouse, she on the other hand grew up in a very conservative upbringing and will not unless totally intoxicated discuss it which is worthless.
We have had lots of fun during our relationship but that doesn't mean we discussed it.
Swapping for us just happened and was never discussed.
I prefer it not to be like that but it is.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

In a perfect world, in a perfect relationship with a person that will openly discuss these things you are spot on. Problem is that a huge percentage of relationships don't have that and never will.

I will personally discuss anything on rhis topic openly and honestly with my spouse, she on the other hand grew up in a very conservative upbringing and will not unless totally intoxicated discuss it which is worthless.
We have had lots of fun during our relationship but that doesn't mean we discussed it.
Swapping for us just happened and was never discussed.
I prefer it not to be like that but it is.

Your honesty here is refreshing—it’s rare to see someone acknowledge the messy gap between the relationships we want and the ones we have. But let’s dissect this:

You say swapping ‘just happened’ without discussion. Here’s the uncomfortable truth: Silence isn’t consent. It’s survival. When one partner clams up (out of shame, fear, or upbringing), the other becomes a negotiator walking a tightrope between desire and disregard.

You’re not alone in this dance. Many of us mistake participation for enthusiasm. But here’s the rub: If she’ll only engage when intoxicated, that’s not a kink—it’s a trauma response. The liquor isn’t loosening her tongue; it’s numbing her boundaries.

A hard lesson I’ve learned: ‘Fun’ that isn’t mutually claimed eventually rots. It might take years, but resentment thrives in unspoken corners.

So here’s my challenge to you—and anyone else nodding along:
Stop waiting for her to ‘open up.’ Start asking different questions. Instead of ‘Would you ever…?’ try ‘What scares you about wanting more?’
Reframe the conversation as a shared excavation, not a negotiation.

It’s not about fixing her conservatism. It’s about asking if she wants to be fixed at all.*

 

[BiggDogg91]

Is it okay for a woman to have fun on the side?
Let’s reframe your question: Is it okay for any human to prioritize their needs ethically and consensually?

Your take reeks of hypocrisy. Why single out women? If loyalty matters, it’s a standard for all partners—not a cage for one gender. Healthy relationships aren’t built on policing bodies; they’re built on mutual respect and clear agreements.

3 facts you’re ignoring:

1. Monogamy isn’t the default. Some couples negotiate openness. Others prioritize emotional fidelity. Judging strangers’ arrangements without context is arrogant.
2. Happiness ≠ ownership. Telling women to “be happy” in silence while men roam freely is a tired double standard. Trust is earned, not gendered.
3. Cheating ≠ autonomy. There’s a vast difference between ethical non-monogamy (transparent, agreed-upon) and betrayal. Conflating the two is lazy.

Try asking better questions:

1. How can couples communicate desires without shame?
2. Why do we judge women’s sexuality harsher than men’s?

Until then, your “strong opinion” is just recycled sexism with extra steps.

I might have worded it the wrong way

 

[flameinsidesoul]

I might have worded it the wrong way

But you did open up a very good topic!!

 

[MaturemanAJ]

Your honesty here is refreshing—it’s rare to see someone acknowledge the messy gap between the relationships we want and the ones we have. But let’s dissect this:

You say swapping ‘just happened’ without discussion. Here’s the uncomfortable truth: Silence isn’t consent. It’s survival. When one partner clams up (out of shame, fear, or upbringing), the other becomes a negotiator walking a tightrope between desire and disregard.

You’re not alone in this dance. Many of us mistake participation for enthusiasm. But here’s the rub: If she’ll only engage when intoxicated, that’s not a kink—it’s a trauma response. The liquor isn’t loosening her tongue; it’s numbing her boundaries.

A hard lesson I’ve learned: ‘Fun’ that isn’t mutually claimed eventually rots. It might take years, but resentment thrives in unspoken corners.

So here’s my challenge to you—and anyone else nodding along:
Stop waiting for her to ‘open up.’ Start asking different questions. Instead of ‘Would you ever…?’ try ‘What scares you about wanting more?’
Reframe the conversation as a shared excavation, not a negotiation.

It’s not about fixing her conservatism. It’s about asking if she wants to be fixed at all.*

We both acknowledge that even in our early 30's we were both too immature to handle swapping correctly if that's even possible.
Our swapping partners all ended up divorced and that in itself scared her for a few reasons.
She figured we were next, the other women that were involved would steal me away and what if people find out.

Everyone knew going into our evenings the possibilities before any alcohol was consumed. Everyone could decide for themselves and no was definitely no as we were and still are all friends.

 

[redsnowbunny]

I have a personal question to ask to everyone on Literotica? Is it okay for a woman to have fun on the side? I have heard that women should be happy. Let me give you my opinion on this. Ladies if you are not going to be faithful, don't get into no kind of relationship.

Is it for a man?

If the question is " is it ok for people to have fun on the side" ...
the obvious answer you are angling at is " if they agreed upon it, it is , otherwise it's not "

Yet the second part of your statement openly reveal you just experienced some kind of betrayal.. and that's never easy.
The core of the problem is the breach of trust. The humiliation of suddenly feeling to have been made a fool by someone you care for.

I hear you, most of us felt that particular pain, sooner or later.
It's never easy or fair, for anyone, man or woman.
Whatever kind of relationship gets shattered by it - even friendships are not immune from breach of trust - it's always going to be hard to get over it.

Best of Luck.

 

[BlackLatin]

I don't care what other people do. I'm just trying to understand what makes a woman think that she can have fun on the side.

THE VERY SAME EXACT THING THAT MAKES GUYS THINK THAT THEY CAN HAVE FUN ON THE SIDE.