Cheating wife

[phlatus]

I just recently found out that my wife has been cheating on me. I love her very much and want to forgive her but I have a hard time getting past this. We've been married five years and have one child. For the most part we've always gotten along but she's been depressed for a while. I should also add that I have cheated on her in the past as well and she forgave me. Any ideas?

 

[Bushido71XS]

Therapy, lots and lots of therapy. It sounds like the two of you have a lot of things you need to work out.

 

[April]

Get some counseling. For both of you, and for your wife's depression seperately.

If she can find it in her heart to forgive you, surely you can forgive her.

 

[Mustang Sally]

You can't not forgive her if she forgave you the same sin. If you love her and really want to stay together, you need to get past this. Marriage counselling might be a good idea. (That's what Ann Landers would say.)

 

[KillerMuffin]

Remarry her. No, informally, by yourselves. Renew yoru vows to each other. Include forgiveness in it, include a pact to seek counseling individually and separately. People don't just have affairs out of the blue, there has to be something wrong. Well, most people don't. You may not forgive her in your heart, not right away, but you can forgive her in your mind and try to forget it. Don't press for details, or rehash it, or constantly demand why? I just want to know why? Forgive and relearn to be married to her. You love her.

 

[Earthmuffin]

Nodding in agreement.

No one says you'll forget, but peace will only come when you forgive. Counseling for both is an excellent way to move past the specter of another person.

 

[Mustang Sally]

And don't ask her if the other guy has a bigger penis, either. That will make things way worse.