cheating or cheated on

[Guest]

I have a question I'd Like to ask of you fine folks here in Literotica. But first a little back ground to my question.

About a year ago my wife had an affair with another man who she met on the internet in a chat room. I found out about it on day when I happened across a conversation the two of them had with eachother. She had forgotten to log out of her ID and had a messeage from this guy. Well after reading the conversation my heart sank and I was left wondering why. I confronted my wife with the facts of reading the conversation and the contents of it. She tried to lie about what had transpired between them but couldn't after I showed her the message from the guy.

We have since spent many hours talking and crying over what had happened. To my knowledge she has never done any thing like this since.

My question now is ... it's been a year and all is pretty much forgiven...But should I trust her now or should I keep my guard up and wait and see what happens? Has anything like this happened to some of you, and if so what did you do?

Thanks, any input would be great.

p.s.
I'm doing this unregistered as she likes to visit this site and I don't want her upset with me.

 

[Andreina]

I've been cheated on countless time and well, I have never quite got the trust in them back. For that matter, I don't trust anything with dick anymore.

The only thing to see if you really trust her is to let her 'go' and let your feelings 'go' and see what happens.


I do wish you the best.

 

[Guest]

Shoot the computer.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I think you can find all sorts of reasons for not trusting her. Maybe the question is: do you want to trust her? If you're withholding trust, she'll know it, and it will affect how she relates to you. By the same token, if you give her your trust, she'll know that, too. And you might well get hurt again--or you might not. You'll never know until you give it a shot.

 

[Guest]

In answer to DAs question...yes this was a real life meeting...I met the guy also...but I was unaware at the time anything had taken place...yes there were a few problems with our marrige at the time...I was gone alot with my job...we have talked about the whys and the how comes...and I have given her what trust I can...maybe I just need to let it go

 

[Cheyenne]

Shoot the computer.

That is probably one of your better posts here, I think. Get rid of temptation?

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[MunchinMark]

I've been cheated on and I know it hurts.

If it does seem to you that this was completely out of character for her, then- if you can, and want to- let it go.

As for what I did. I got mad, said thing's I shouldn't have and stormed out.

I regret that.

 

[Hornymama]

It seems to me as if you have made a major step by forgiving her.
I think you should put your trust in her again as much as you are able. i know it's a hard thing to do but when you mistrust someone it's a very miserable way to spend your life. You say all is pretty much forgiven, which is great, but it may take a while to forget on both your parts. Also, she is probably living with a lot of guilt which is also hard to overcome. I think you need to put your trust in each other, you trust her not to be unfauthful again and her to trust you that you really have forgiven her and try to put it behind you and get on with your life. don't let something special you two have slip through your fingers, You may realize this incident made your love and your marriage stronger.

 

[bknight2602]

I have a question I'd Like to ask of you fine folks here in Literotica. But first a little back ground to my question.
...................
Thanks, any input would be great.

p.s.
I'm doing this unregistered as she likes to visit this site and I don't want her upset with me.

If the same situations occur that happened before, it seems likely that she will cheat again. You have to get to the root of the situation before you can have peace of mind! Are you addressing the problems you two have discussed? If you can answer yes, then it seems like if you want to trust you can, if not don't trust and get hurt again!

 

[Guest]

Even though, I have no foolproof of it, I can put 2 & 2 together, and, I'm pretty sure I was cheated on by another man,(oh, and, I'm a man.) I also don't have any proof of why, but, I think it was because my disability effects my erections, and, size of my penis...and, uh, control of other things. He said he didn't care, but, then, I never saw him after that. So, now, I have a hard time trusting ANYONE! My Mom & Sis say that there's women out their that REALLY could care less even if their boyfriend HAD a penis,(I don't have very many people in RL to talk to about this issue,)but, it's pretty difficult,(damned impossible, if you ask me,)to talk about that subject with your lover. I'm NOT going to go up to a woman I've been dating, and, say, "Gee, my penis is small, and, so are my testicals. Do you still like me?" So, I guess I'll just stay lonely for all my life,(hopeful a short 1.) Sorry about the rant. I got ahead of myself.

 

[greeneyedgringo]

nasty is that you?

 

[Guest]

Yup. I've had my comp. on for so long, that sometimes when I post at Lit., I'm a Unreg.

 

[Sandia]

Unreg # 1:

It seems to me whenever this subject comes up people speak through the lens of their own experiences, even when it sounds like they're addressing yours.

No one can tell you what to do or how to feel except you.

 

[Dusty Farkworth]

About a year ago my wife had an affair

After reading through this thread I got to wondering about your delema as it seems a couple I know had about the same thing happen to them in their marriage about the same time as yours. Maybe it's just happen chance but the same story was told to me by them. I know for a fact that they have since put their marriage back in order and I've never known two people more in love with eachother than they are now. They both had a hard time putting the affair behind them and learning to trust and love eachother again. But I know if they can do it, so can you. But only if you want to. Love and trust are key parts of any relationship, but so is forgiving and open communication between two people in love. I also want to add that the couple I know are now friends with the "other man" and his wife. They seem to be getting along great. As "horneymoma" stated this just may make your marrige stronger. But it is totally up to you. It sounds like your wife is willing to give her all to you. Or atleast this is what i gather from your notes.
Good luck.
Dusty

 

[Guest]

bump

 

[Dusty Farkworth]

maybe we helped or maybe not...I notice an unregistered bump but no other reply...I hope we have helped in some small way.
Dusty

 

[Guest]

I just wanted to thank everyone for their opinions. I have decided to let the past be in the past and be happy we are still together. I love her with all my heart and don't want to live a life filled with distrust. I only want to enjoy the love she shows me and share in her life. Thank you all again for your kind words.