Character Description

[KillerMuffin]

How do you go about describing your characters in a story?

 

[p_p_man]

It depends on the story KM

If I think the character requires a full description I give it one. This is probably required more when writing erotica/porn for men as (even though it burns me up to say this) most men don't seem to have the imagination to picture the character without a full word picture of what she looks like. The male characters needs less of a description.

My preference is to let the character's background, physical/mental state, the thoughts of the female character and other factors decribe the character for me. Also to me it makes for better writing.

eg: "He slouched in his chair, his bad breath filling her nostrils as she wiped away the spittle from his chin."

Hopefully the reader would picture and old/sick man being administered to by someone. The character can be fleshed out later. OR:

"He had found them in a bar working the door. Once Harold employed them he no longer had to worry about having trouble at his own place."

This time it's the characters' background which hopefully would describe them to the reader. And again they can be fleshed out later. "He grabbed the bases of the two champagne bottles by one hand before picking them up." Should give an impression of great size.

Most salesmen know the phrase that you sell the sizzle not the steak I think that's equally true of character descriptions. Do not, ever, no way, under any circumstances make a list of physical attributes along with what the character is wearing.

"She was tall with a waist that nipped into her body accentuating her round lush breasts which hung drom her ribcage despite the cross your heart bra she had just bought at the store. Her long thin neck set off the gold chain which dangled low on her chest almost reaching her deep cleavage, hiding the butterfly tattoo, she had done when she was drunk one night, which nestled to the right of her gulping throat..." and on and on. I've seen some descriptions based on the list method go on for a page and a half. You may have seen the same thing. Sure way to lose the readers' interest.

Sorry to go on for so long KM but descriptions to me are one of the reasons I write. And if I could paint a good enough picture in one word so that the reader knows immediately what the character looks like, smells like, speaks like then I would.

But I ain't that good.

 

[Weird Harold]

I try to describe characters pretty much the same way as P_P_Man laid out.

I have been toying with a sotry idea that absolutely demands I describe the heroine with height, weight, hair color, eye color, identifying marks, etc.

The Working title is _The Reward Poster_

 

[p_p_man]

What I'm trying to convey W-H...

...is that if a character needs to be described in precise detail, and I have them myself, then there is no reason to do it all at once. That's where you get 'the list' appearing.

I submitted one a couple of months ago "I'm Not In It For The Money" where I started off with a description of the woman's body from the rear as she is being stalked. Then I stopped the description to advance the story line, then I continued the description again, then advanced again and finally finished off the description.

That way I avoided the lengthy descriptive piece which I see a number of the newer authors seem to think is necessary. Maybe it's my own memory but if I have a long piece to read I rarely remember it all later in the story.

 

[p_p_man]

I rushed into the post then W-H...

...I didn't read the working title of your story. I suppose something called "The Reward Poster" would sort of lend itself to a listing description...LOL

 

[Weird Harold]

...I didn't read the working title of your story. I suppose something called "The Reward Poster" would sort of lend itself to a listing description...LOL

Basic premise:

Young girl runs away on her eighteenth birthday from domineering over-protective mother. She poses one last time before the digital camera to update the information file her mother created to automatically update every time the girl leaves the house. Of course, in rebellion, she poses nude (possibly with a boyfriend she's running away with) and as lasiviously as she can manage.

Mom freaks when girl doesn't come home when expected, and hits the "panic" button which sends the reward poster to law enforcement, and numerous websites without ever diplaying it locally.

<writer's block>

 

[Alex De Kok]

I am trying to learn to let the description, if any, come out as the story progresses, using only enough to set the scene. I confess to probably over-using unnecessary description, particularly in some work which (luckily for you readers) never got submitted.

I have used the device of having the female protagonist assessing herself in a mirror (see Kate Ch. 1) which is cheating, but useful at times.

Alex

 

[p_p_man]

Alex...

...I read Kate CH 1 down to the description of herself. I don't want to belabour a point but in this case there was no need to describe the mother at all. You had done an excellent job in the way she talks to her daughter, the way she produced the dildo, the small sentence on who gave it to her and the fact she didn't want her daughter's grandmother to know about it. The way she was horrified if her daughter mentioned to her friends where she got it, and the odd moments of embarrassment (mirrored by her daughter's own embarrassment).

In a few short paragraphs you have told me enough about the mother for me to have a picture in my mind of a 30-40 year old young thinking person, probably with blond hair down to the nape of her neck and slightly dishevelled. Still able to feel childlike in certain circumstances, dressed in jeans (I don't know why its just the picture I've got) and check shirt worn outside her jeans.

That's all I need at this point. You've kept me interested in the story not in the description. If there are things you feel should be added do it in the style of the first few paragraphs.

I'm going back now to read the full story. It looked a good one.

 

[peterpan]

timing and perspective

Ok lets ignore the cases of "One day, Cindy, a 34c..."
Hell. I barely know what those numbers mean. A is small, AA powers remote controls..

Sorry. Ignoring those cases, introducing physical detail late can be jarring. When I read I cannot help but build an image in my head, inventing details to my own taste. Then a late discription comes along and tells me I am wrong.

Another issue is perspective. Even when in third person, I prefer tales that are told from one persons perspective or the other, or at least that there is not a transition from sentence to sentence. That would give me the impression of a third entity narrating, and even if emotions are described, they are only relayed second hand through this entity, with whom I have no connection.

What you actually choose to describe gives clues to whose perspective is being explored, and what that perspective is. If a perfectly ok looking woman is described in the same room as a man whose only immediate description is a butt that could crack walnuts, I would assume the perspective was from the woman's point of view, that she was a little insecure but indignantly rejected this, and she really appreciated a nice butt. More simply: real person, likes men.

..I wonder why working a character out from the consistent clues is more fun than simply being told. Perhaps because it is such a useful skill in the real world where people do not come in textural descriptions.

 

[p_p_man]

what peterpan said...

...nicely put.

There are many factors that contribute to a description and your example of perspectice is a good example. Like you I'm very vague on women's sizes anyway.

 

[Ask For More]

I agree....I prefer it so much more to let my imagination do the work with a character rather than being told everything. As a consequence I tend to avoid super descriptive words and use more vague terms to get my ideas across.