Chances Taken...

[Halo_n_horns]

Nearly everyone has taken some sort of chance or chances in his/her life that can be looked at as some sort of "defining moment." A chance taken or passed up that one can say, "I'm glad I did that, though it was not an easy thing to do," or "I woulda, coulda, shoulda" or "I'm glad I didn't do that. Look at what happened to so-and-so."

At the end of this month I'll be at my one-year anniversary for quitting a well-paying job while having a mortgage, a child a wife, not to mention a number of pets and other fairly large monthly debt payments, in order to start my own business doing what I love to do.

Thus far, there's been no great pay off for taking this chance, but I have been more at peace with myself since doing it, and somehow I get feeling that good things are yet to come from it.

What was the big chance(s) you took? Missed or passed up? Were the results worth leaving your "comfort zone?"

 

[impressive]

I walked away from my "career" when pregnant with my first child -- and never looked back. It was a big risk, because we effectively halved our income. We sold our house, bought a much smaller townhouse, and make all the requiste sacrifices re vacations, spending, etc. Now, 12 years later, we are finally back up to the double income level (as hubby has more than doubled his in that time). I add to it a bit by doing some freelance work from home while being the stay-at-home mom. No regrets there.

Another big risk was sharing my erotica with my best friend. No regrets there, either.

In my experience, the risks I regret are those I DIDN'T take.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

In my experience, the risks I regret are those I DIDN'T take.

No shit there!!!

 

[Honey123]

I may be leaving my job in a few months....I have to see. I think that is probably the biggest jump or chance I have ever taken in my life.

There are many things I regret that I didn't get to do, but I can't dwell on them. I will be turning 40 in June and I sometimes look at my life and wonder what if? But then I also know that there is a certain someone in my life that if I didn't do what I did, I never would have given birth to him and I would regret that the most!

Of all the things in my life that I did...I know I did my son right! So, with that in my heart and in my head, it makes my days brighter. I will make sure that he does everything he wants to do, that he doesn't hurt anyone in passing and that he respects all aspects of life.

 

[Guest]

In my experience, the risks I regret are those I DIDN'T take.

Exactly!

I'm not going into specifics about risks and stuff, but there are very few rules I live by, however that is one that I swear by.

I have no regrets about anything I have done. I know I'd regret any chances I hadn't taken. Life is there to be lived, and enjoyed!

Lou

 

[Liar]

Opportunities and risks have been pretty few and far between in my life. The leap I took last summer to quit my job and start studying was a pretty big one for me, and I've still arranged this pretty safe, with backup plans and whatnot. I have yet to marry or spawn or anything like that...so no responsibilites other than my own well being have ever been there to consider.

I guess my most defining moment was going from a downwars spiral of partying myself into alcoholism to dead sober, and staying there for five years. I now have a normal, balanced relationship to being drknu.

#L

 

[hydrex]

The most recent big risk I took was to get help for my depression. I knew I would have to stop working and get disability but I think in the long run it's for the best. I'm a much, much better person now, and there is less chance that my depression will be the cause of my loss of work that it has been so many times in the past.

On the good side I have been able to be in my sons life every day since he was born even though his mom and I are divorced. I wouldn't trade time with him for anything in the world.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I left a well paying career last year, completely without a plan. I'm less tired and stressed out than I was, and I usually know what time zone I'm in now; however, I am still completely without a plan for the future. I don't regret leaving the job, although I'm starting to freak out at my lack of clarity on what I'm going to do next.

 

[Op_Cit]

I've walked away from million dollar opportunities more than once in life. Also walked away from (legal) $1000/day multi-year gigs, with less than ten grand in the bank and no new job lined up. I've left thousands on the table, work done but not invoiced, because I could see no value provided...

Over and over again... For me it is never hard or even a difficult choice: doing the right thing is easy.

Living with the shit that comes after is what gets you down.

The IRS that wants to (can and will) tax you (often twice) on income you've never gotten. People giving you crap. A banking system that can fuck you standing still... Laws restricting my ability to just be left alone. Friends and family that can't comprehend that one's primary motivation in life is making other people's lives better.

A world filled with people that want to vote to take by force my money (or others') to throw away on people that are not helping themselves, or perhaps bomb them. Both the liberals and conservatives united together to take away the money I desire to personally spend helping people who are helping themselves, to help people who do not want to use the force of government to take away money from others to give to themselves.

A relative dies and siblings scramble to grab the possessions left behind, unable to comprehend that I want nothing. They feel the need to force an item or two upon me to somehow assuage their own subconsious guilt of ravenous greed when faced by someone who recoils. ("Don't you want this? But you can sell it and make money...") Maybe I'm fortunate to have started with nothing and therefor never really had a comfort zone to step away from...

Seriously, you are cheating yourself if you do not step away from your comfort zone, but be prepared for what you may learn about the world and other people in the process. The internal strength and worth gained is priceless (and --so far-- that whole karma thing is bunk)

This sounds suspiciously like a rant or a whine... it's not supposed to be.

I don't ever regret the decisions I've made (you can learn even more from the worst of them), but I do often regret the world I was born into.

 

[rgraham666]

I got married. It didn't pan out. (Jesus, there's an understatement. )

Don't take risks anymore. True, if you don't bet, you can't win, but I no longer have the emotional wealth to risk what I have left.

 

[elsol]

What was the big chance(s) you took? Missed or passed up? Were the results worth leaving your "comfort zone?

Big Chances --

a) Enlisting in the army (certain things are never an issue after you spend a few years as a grunt... most bad things today I look at and say 'Yeah, but at least I'm not guarding a snow field in Alaska at three o'clock in the morning!'

b) Starting an affair with both my female housemates (Rent would have SUCKED if they had found out... but it was well worth it!)

c) Just took a promotion that could be way above my head so I could be in pain for the next six months... but if I master it then I'm cherry unless the company folds.

Chances missed.

a) Rachel -- it was so bad and stupid that she is the star of a good number of stories.

b) Any girl I ever liked ... I have a thing for unrequited crushes.

Were the results worth leaving your comfort zone --

1) I don't believe in regret... everything I've ever thought was a 'fuckup' worked out for the best eventually... I'm still waiting for the light at the end of the Rachel tunnel though.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Halo_n_horns]

I left a well paying career last year, completely without a plan. I'm less tired and stressed out than I was, and I usually know what time zone I'm in now; however, I am still completely without a plan for the future. I don't regret leaving the job, although I'm starting to freak out at my lack of clarity on what I'm going to do next.

Great posts!

I'm completely identifying with LJ, here. I didn't have a plan when I originally left, though looking back, doing what I'm doing was the only logical path to take since it's my first love. I'm probably only about one step ahead of you with this one, in that I've devised a plan of attack, but have yet to really execute it.

I best get off my ass soon and start taking some more chances!!!

 

[minsue]

I fall into the camp of regrets for risks not taken. I am trying, however, to break that habit.

 

[DrFreud]

Great thread.

I am usually risk averse. This said i've taken a big chance leaving my family, my friends, and country and came to the US to join a top school. Had a lot of trouble securing the financial aspect too.

It has worked out great professionally. I would have thrown away a lot of potential if I hadn't taken that risk. I am grateful to my family for never holding me back although it must hurt like hell for a mother and father to go without seeing their son.

DrF

 

[fairysong]

Great thread.

I am usually risk averse. This said i've taken a big chance leaving my family, my friends, and country and came to the US to join a top school. Had a lot of trouble securing the financial aspect too.

It has worked out great professionally. I would have thrown away a lot of potential if I hadn't taken that risk. I am grateful to my family for never holding me back although it must hurt like hell for a mother and father to go without seeing their son.

DrF

Risks....

I guess the biggest risk I've taken was declaring my independence and moving to Australia. My parents had sent me, with my older brothers, to the U.S. for school. My bros were being over proctective and were treating me like a child(i'm not being dramatic....they scared off every single guy who'd show interest in me and show up at parties I went to). When I'd confronted them they laughed and my eldest bro ruffled my hair.

Soon after I took off to Australia and stayed there 2 years. My parents were mad at first but they understood that I needed to spread my wings. And now I'm back in the U.S. finishing up school. My brothers are still protective but they treat me like an adult. My relationship with them is great now, they have stood by me when I needed them the most. And I know that I couldn't love them more.

 

[DrFreud]

Risks....

I guess the biggest risk I've taken was declaring my independence and moving to Australia. My parents had sent me, with my older brothers, to the U.S. for school. My bros were being over proctective and were treating me like a child(i'm not being dramatic....they scared off every single guy who'd show interest in me and show up at parties I went to). When I'd confronted them they laughed and my eldest bro ruffled my hair.

Soon after I took off to Australia and stayed there 2 years. My parents were mad at first but they understood that I needed to spread my wings. And now I'm back in the U.S. finishing up school. My brothers are still protective but they treat me like an adult. My relationship with them is great now, they have stood by me when I needed them the most. And I know that I couldn't love them more.

Good to hear that you've got support away from home.

Moving away from one's comfort zone is very hard but imho it's the only way to grow.

DrF

 

[fairysong]

Good to hear that you've got support away from home.

Moving away from one's comfort zone is very hard but imho it's the only way to grow.

DrF

Yes, and being the youngest I had to move away to do the growing.

(btw, I seem to remember something about your Thesis being due soon....how's it coming?)

 

[DrFreud]

Yes, and being the youngest I had to move away to do the growing.

(btw, I seem to remember something about your Thesis being due soon....how's it coming?)

My thesis is coming along. I've done good work but i'm never really satisfied.
The advisor is pretty happy though. I've got a tough 2 weeks to go but freedom is near.

Thanks for asking.

DrF

 

[fairysong]

My thesis is coming along. I've done good work but i'm never really satisfied.
The advisor is pretty happy though. I've got a tough 2 weeks to go but freedom is near.

Thanks for asking.

DrF

[threadjack]
Not a problem. Shadow's the same way. He's stressing over his thesis but I think he's doing good.[/threadjack]