Challenge: In Ode to Nipsey Russell

[average gina]

If anyone watched Hollywood Squares in the seventies, Nipsey Russell "the poet laureate of television" should be unforgettable with his quick-witted poems. He was the original poetry slammer. So, for the humorous poets here, I'd like to offer an ongoing challenge.

The format that Nipsey Russell is famous for is a simple four-line poem with either a play on words or the last line being a punchline. As an example:

"If you owe too much on American Express,
and your Diner's Club notes are too hard,
take a loan on your Visa,
and pay it off with your MasterCard!"


"The kids are saying 'Make Love, Not War',
and I'm beginning to think they're right.
For war costs millions of dollars a day,
and love--just a few bucks a night!"​

I can hardly wait to see what poetry comes up. Have fun!

 

[Liar]

Cool. Remonds me of the grook thread I opened...ages ago. Pretty much the same thing, but less specified form. Let's hope this one survives longer.



art is the key
to your soul's balcony
where ephiphanies drift into being

but way too sublime
so that most of the time
you don't know what the fuck you are seeing


...


How sad ain't the truth,
that thoughout their youth;
the nice guys finish last.

But in the long run
they are so much more fun
than guys that finish fast.


...

 

[Tzara]

My Feet Hurt

A rhythm poetic is called prosody—
Anapestic, iambic, and trochee & c.
Should poets with painful, sore iambic feet
Seek verbal assistance through chiropody?

 

[Liar]

The centipede, disgruntled beast,
by God or Darwin leg-increased,
unties his shoes in dewy grass
"Intelligent design my ass!"

 

[BooMerengue]

The centipede, disgruntled beast,
by God or Darwin leg-increased,
unties his shoes in dewy grass
"Intelligent design my ass!"

Wonderful!! I love this, Liar!! Thanks- it's a 10!

 

[average gina]

art is the key
to your soul's balcony
where ephiphanies drift into being

but way too sublime
so that most of the time
you don't know what the fuck you are seeing


...


How sad ain't the truth,
that thoughout their youth;
the nice guys finish last.

But in the long run
they are so much more fun
than guys that finish fast.


...

Liar, will you marry me? Sorry, just hypothetical... Now that was hilarious!

 

[average gina]

My Feet Hurt

A rhythm poetic is called prosody—
Anapestic, iambic, and trochee & c.
Should poets with painful, sore iambic feet
Seek verbal assistance through chiropody?

I had to read that a couple of times--I admit it, I'm slow--but that was too funny!

 

[Tzara]

I had to read that a couple of times--I admit it, I'm slow--but that was too funny!

Liar's too young and inexperienced. You could marry me!

Oh, wait.

I'm already married. Well, we could...

Oh, nevermind.

Thanks for the thread, Gina. Liar is a very funny guy and you've coaxed him out of his comedic shell to share his cleverness with us. Thanks!

 

[champagne1982]

A donkey once took off his stetson and said,
I think, therefore I am. There's nothing other than that.
When the news story came out, it was the first thing I read
and I thought, "Wow! An ass that talks out of his hat!"

 

[tungtied2u]

President Bush should be ashamed
of all the incompetents he named
to important posts just because they're his cronies
there are people dying at the hands of these phonies

 

[average gina]

bump

 

[Tzara]

with apologies, for Liar

The Pastafarian War Anthem

To Dover, Pennsylvania! Where the school board's words
for fair Keystone youth define what is unfurled
as Biologic Truth. We Venganza! cry and swords
unsheath, to argue hearing theories of a noodly world.

 

[Liar]

3.15 AM , I'm still awake.
Skipping sleep, I fear is a mistake.
And though I'm feeling pretty up and spunky,
I'm tynping like a mockerfuthing monknye.

 

[Tzara]

3.15 AM , I'm still awake.
Skipping sleep, I fear is a mistake.
And though I'm feeling pretty up and spunky,
I'm tynping like a mockerfuthing monknye.

mockerfuthing? monknye?

Well, I concede. I can't beat those.

I do hope, though, this is not on SVT:

The 700 Club

Descent of man from primate ape
seems such a cranky divine jape,
that Darwin--huh!--he's such a dope!

So thus Pat Robertson emotes.​

God natt!

 

[The_Fool]

3.15 AM , I'm still awake.
Skipping sleep, I fear is a mistake.
And though I'm feeling pretty up and spunky,
I'm tynping like a mockerfuthing monknye.

Tath will get you for that....

 

[average gina]

I knew Bush was empty headed,
somehow I just knew it.
I asked him how he could be so dumb
and he said, "'twas nothing to it!"