Caught Speeding Again...Try this instead

[Kymberley]

Now I will have to try this next time I get pulled over.


A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain
approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!!

 

[morninggirl5]

Somehow I just don't think it would work for me. Although I did get out of a speeding ticket once because the cop saw all of my "teacher stuff" and asked if I was a teacher. When I said I was, he gave me a warning and wished me good luck with my class.

 

[Kymberley]

Got my very first ticket a month ago. I have been driving for over 18 years. The judge told me I had to go to driving school to get it off my license.

Driving school? After 18 years? Seems that if I have not figured it out by now, ain't no schoolin' gonna help.

 

[morninggirl5]

My Dad had to go to driving school after 25+ years driving an 18 wheeler. He taught the class. My advice would be to take a good book you've been meaning to read and enjoy the break from everyday life.

 

[asylumkitten]

Kitten's driving tales

Officer - Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me - *looking innocent* No Sir, I don’t have any idea. Was I doing something wrong?

Officer - You were going 55 in a 35

Me - Oh...I’m sorry, I was just going with the flow of traffic

Officer - *looking around* There is no traffic Miss.

Me - *thinking hard, forehead all wrinkled* - Oh...well, I was imagining how fast the traffic would be going if there was any. *smiles*

Office - *laughs* That’s one I’ve never heard. I’ll give you a warning this time, but gain some control over your imagination.

Me - *smiles* uh huh. Yes, Sir.


Hey - no points, no ticket....whatever works. *smiles*

 

[Comshaw]

Ah yes, sometimes speeding turns into stupidity. There is a brand new Honda CBR Black Bird sitting in the impound lot here in my home town. How did it get there?
Well it seems a young Coast Guardsman bought it and was feeling uncatchable. A Blackbird will do 180 Mph top end.
He passed a state patrolman doing 110 Mph in a wheely while giving the patrolman the finger. Dumb fuck though he could outrun Motorola I guess. He's in jail waiting trial for felony aludement. If convicted that's one year in prison not to mention what the Guard will do to him. Speeding doesn't get you caught, being stupid does.

Comshaw

 

[Kymberley]

And with that Comshaw, it proves the point I try and make daily at work.

YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID!!!