"Cat". Two translations

[Senna Jawa]

For the sake of trivia I am checking the Lit poems posted in 2002, which made it to the top reads list. At the top you have the illustrated ones, they just slaughter other poems. Yes, they score from 40 to 100 reads per day, not too bad. Actually, several of the poems posted in 2003 made it to the top 100 or even to the top 75 (to page 1).

In particular I paid some attention to

    A Cat's Game by Chiklet.

Posted on October 22, last year, and with 17140 reads (only a little under 100 reads per day) it is on 6th place and it is 2nd among the 2002 poems.

I paid an attention to it not just on the account of trivia but because it reminded me of my own poem, written in Polish. I checked the list of my Lit poems and to my surprize there was not one but two translations of my "Kot" poem, both included in the same post. My poem was posted on November 30, last year, and has scored only 129 reads so far, almost 150 times less than the poem by Chiklet. Feel free to read, to comment to even vote (Literotica will remove yuor votes soon anyway ). And first of all, I am curious about your comparisons of the three pieces.

Here is the link:

&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp Cat

Regards,

 

[OT]

... And first of all, I am curious about your comparisons of the three pieces.

I liked Marek Lugowski's translation better than your own translation.

Specifically, "haunts the chessboard" seems more cat-like than "lost on the chessboard".
and "like the winter's very end" captures nicely the distinctive color of a Siamese, which I don't get from "as the end of winter was coming"

I'm guessing that your's is a literal translation, and Marek attempted to capture the essence of the original ?

Chicklet's had some good ideas/images but was not as "tight" as it could have been.
Having the power to kill the king, but choosing not too, is a great description of a typical cat personality.

 

[Senna Jawa]

Re: Re: "Cat". Two translations

OT, thank you for your comment.

I liked Marek Lugowski's translation better than your own translation.

Marek is a great translator (and poet!), and his grasp of English, especially of American English, is incredible.

I'm guessing that your's is a literal translation, and Marek attempted to capture the essence of the original ?

Hm, there was no need for me to ask Each time I give a double translation I get exactly the same reaction. But it is true only half of the time. Sometimes Marek's translation is more close to the original, sometimes mine. As the author I can take great liberties and still preserve the spirit of the poem. So, you never know until you learn Polish (or at least look into the original and play a bit of Sherlock Holmes ).

Chicklet's had some good ideas/images but was not as "tight" as it could have been. Having the power to kill the king, but choosing not too, is a great description of a typical cat personality.

Good material. But artistically Chicklet's text is junk, a failed attempt at poetry at the most.

Trivia time: Cat has collected 146 reads by now.

Regards,