Casual Touch

[Krinaia]

First some clarification, by casual touching - I mean a hand on your arm, or shoulder. Essentially, a touch from a relative stranger or relatively new acquantince with the touch not meaning to have any sexual implications from the toucher.

Okay, so I made a comment in another thread and then thought it could make an interesting poll. There is no way to really do this scientifically with only one question as it leaves out so many things - age, sex, ethnicity and geography. But the options are based on bdsm orientation.

I'll share my hypothesis after some votes have been made as I do not wish to influence the voting by polluting your minds with my preconceived notions. And I'd definitely love hear what anyone has to say on the subject - in how it relates to their culture, race and sexual orientation. I moved from one regional american culture zone to another and found that what i considered polite personal space and touching had to be redefined.

<edited to add:> it would also interesting to know if you also have certain ideas about how you should be approached in regards to touching in coorelation to your d/s orientation - i have had only a handful of munch experiences and don't know if there are perhaps guidelines to be followed that fit the community as a whole

 

[HB1965]

I've never felt very comfortable with casual touch from relative strangers. Not sure why that it, but it bothers me.

 

[graceanne]

I DO NO like to be touched by strangers. I outright hate it if it's a man.

 

[Krinaia]

do you girls mind me asking where you grew up? just region would be okay if you perfer not to disclose the city... though rural or urban would be interesting to know.

 

[FungiUg]

I don't generally like being touched except by my friends or lovers.

 

[HB1965]

Kentucky was where I grew up.

 

[Krinaia]

Hello fungi

 

[Krinaia]

Kentucky was where I grew up.

hmmm... me too. but you know i think the parents regionality influences these things as much as the environment outside the home and my parents were from the Montanan prairie. and perhaps that geographical environment has the effect of being so large that it emphasizes the closeness between people so they give a wider berth to each other.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

It doesn't bother me.. and I grew up in Kentucky

 

[Netzach]

I grew up in NYC and I'm Jewish. Very close concept of personal space. A hand on the arm is fine, emphasis. Getting in my space in an aggressive way is, of course, not welcome, but as long as I have neutral to liking impression of the person it's cool.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Under most circumstances I'm okay with casual touching. I'm a hugger... from the word go. That definitely requires touching.

But sometimes I don't want anyone in my personal space. *shrugs*

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

..................​

 

[DeservingBitch]

I am VERY territorial about my personal space. I do not appreciate being touched or even having someone invading my personal space by getting too close to me. I also send out some don't-get-in-my-space-don't-touch-me vibes that most people catch on too very easily. So, I tend to get very bitchy with people who don't get the clues and touch me without being invited too and/or given permission. And I get extra bitchy if the person is a man, which is usually the case.

 

[sexycaz22]

I don't know if I should vote or not....

For me, a casual touch on other people, on the shoulder or arm...whatever...is a MUST! Because I am deaf and so therefore, touching other people, just to get their attention...even if they are hearing. I know most of hearing people doesn't like to be touched...i.e. tapping on the shoulder...

I don't mind being touched on the arm or shoulder by strangers or even family etc. Hugs is a huge part of my life, especially with people I know really well. With strangers - a different story...I need to get to know them first before moving on to hugs.

The funny thing is, I hate having my hair stroked or patted on by friends or family as it makes me feel like a little girl...yet when I snuggled up to my play partner after a spanking session, I loved having my hair stroked by him! I think it is more likely to be making me feel comfortable and at peace, after a intense spanking session.

 

[HB1965]

hmmm... me too. but you know i think the parents regionality influences these things as much as the environment outside the home and my parents were from the Montanan prairie. and perhaps that geographical environment has the effect of being so large that it emphasizes the closeness between people so they give a wider berth to each other.

My Parents were originally from Wisconsin, and looking back on it I think they probably did influence my not necessarily liking casual touch.

 

[Mazuri]

Female, grew up in AL and have moved back here to stay, I have no problems with casual touching as long as it's of a non-sexual nature. A hand on the arm, tap on the shoulder, etc is fine. I think I'd be crazy by now if I had issues with it as nearly everyone I come in contact with will touch while they talk to you. Even customers at the store I work at *shrugs* There are times when I just want my space, but for the most part, it's so common to me that I notice it more when it doesn't happen than when it does.

 

[EmpressFi]

I'm with Geoff, I'm a hugger. I'm very MUCH a casual toucher... a hand on the arm when speaking, when I'm riding in the car, my hand is usually resting on the driver's knee (if I know them).. I am, since moving away from Southern Ohio, more congnizant of other people's feelings and I do try and avoid doing it with strangers.. but sometimes, I cant, no more than I can ohh stop sayin "Honey" or "Hon" or "Sweetie" with people.. it's part of how I was raised.

 

[somberReality]

I think of myself as submissive, i don't like the casual touch of strangers, and i live in NC.

 

[PrimalGirl]

I consider myself a submissive and I don't mind casual touch. I think I would possibly be of a different frame of mind if I were "owned" or belonged to someone. Since I do not, I rather enjoy casual touching- within reason of course

 

[graceanne]

I'm an army brat. I was born in Colorado, then we moved to Minnesota when I was 2, then to texas when I was 5, back to Minnesota when I was 6, to Missouri when I was 7, then to Oregon when I was 10. I've been here ever since.

 

[sureibu]

Casual touching doesn't bother me at all. I'm also a hugger . When I was around 12 or 13 my best friend was Greek. So any time I was introduced to her family or a member of her church, I was hugged and kissed. The first couple of times I was a little freaked out, but then I started to expect it and it was fine.

Now if I'm in public and someone is standing in my bubble, I have a problem with that. If I can't step back or move away from them, I'll ask them to move.

 

[Quint]

...........

 

[Recidiva]

I grew up in New Jersey. My family didn't touch much at all.

This to me is a bit like a question about scent.

Some touch is gentle, comforting, welcome, like fresh baked bread, cinnamon or lilac.

Some touch is spicy, the scent of crawfish etouffe or salsa.

Some touch is repulsive, like sewage or rotten eggs.

It all depends on what's cooking, the intent, the person, the atmosphere. I don't have any hard and fast rules.

I'm just as likely to avoid someone's touch as to welcome it, depending on the person.

ETA: I can't vote here, count me as "other"

 

[im_a_voyeur]

Born and raised in Chicago, now living in South Florida.

Parents are caribbean and culture dictates that we do a lot of hugging and kissing. Even when being introduced to new people, depending on the relationship of the person who's doing the introducing, it may be appropriate to kiss that person on the cheek. (The cheek kissing tends to be more of a female thing, I guess.) I have to watch it sometimes when dealing w/ Americans because sometimes I forget and I'm trained to automatically do it especially once I've met the person a few times. Most friends are pretty used to it and know there going to get some loving from me, LOL. I sometimes get offended and take it as an insult if a friend is greeting me and doesn't give me a hug.

As far as being touched, I don't have a problem with it as long as it is casual and not sexual in any sense. I do have this weird thing about personal space when standing in line though which is totally not related to the discussion at hand, lol.

I identify as submissive.

 

[serijules]

It really depends on the person and the energy they are giving off that determines if I'm comfortable with it or not. Generally, unless there is negative energy, I'm fine with it although it does throw me off sometimes when I am not expecting it.

I have a hard time with hugging though. I like the concept, I like the message...but it makes me nervous. I am ALWAYS the first to pull away, even with very very close friends. I just get all in a tizzy wondering how tight to hug, how long, what to do with my hands, etc. I want to love hugging but never have felt entirely comfortable with it.

I'm pretty used to casual hands for emphasis or attention, what with being deaf. People touch me a lot to get my attention, even when they already have it. Overcompensation.

I live in North Dakota.