Casting Call: St. Mayhem

[Maid of Marvels]

Welcome to St. Mayhem, a rather large hospital nestled unobtrusively in one of the busiest cities in Somewhereville, USA. (Think every medical show (good and bad) you've ever seen, mix in all of the soap operas and throw in healthy doses of humor and pathos...)

St. Mayhem has recently been purchased by a huge (but not profitable) conglomerate and are seeking to restaff. The pay is minimal so lets just say beggars can't be choosers. They'll take just about anyone.

We'll be needing a hospital administrator, doctors, nurses, a receptionist, the house shrink (yup there's a vroom room), lab techs (can anyone say vampire?), kitchen help, janitors... and PATIENTS. (We hear they're dying to get in.)

Perhaps some characters from other threads around the boards could come in for "treatments" after falling victim to some mishap or illness. (ie: Spidey starts to lose his sight from playing with his web shooter a little too often. )

Come in for the whole trip or just a little overhaul. Any and all players are welcome.

Please present your resumes:

The main thread can be found at this link: St. Mayhem.

 

[Dr lovemuscle]

I have a recognised medical qualification from the university of lakshadweep in the laccadive islands. Unfortunately I have been struck off twice for mistakenly administering large doses of halucinogenic drugs instead of antibiotics, fortunatly my patients went quite mad and couldn't give evidence against me. So whoopee I'm back practising.
I also have experience in Cleaning Hospitals because I started out in this job and stole my Doctors qualifications from the offices. I change my mop bucket water every 6 months whether it's needed or not
are there any vacancies at your hospital?

Yours Dr Lovemuscle.. Mrsa

 

[Maid of Marvels]

MY RESUME by Penny Louffer

OBJECTIVE
Yes, I'm very open minded.

THEORETICAL ORIENTATION
11th Grade: "The Wizard of Oz" (Scarecrow - I can still remember all the words to 'If I Only Had a Brain'.)

12th Grade: "A Midsummer Night's Dream" (The Wall - They wanted me to just play the 'hole' but I couldn't find my motivation.)

EDUCATION AND CREDENTIALS
I finally graduated last year!! I only stayed back three times in High School. The Principal, Mrs. Teasdale, actually had tears in her eyes.

Umm... I don't have any credentials. Visa said I needed a job to get one

EMPLOYMENT
Well, I used to take care of my neighbor's pets when they went away for the weekend, but one time the dog was chasing the hamster and they knocked the fishbowl over. It took me over an hour to find Goldie. She didn't make it, but I didn't want them to know so I duct taped her to a straw and pushed the straw in the gravel so it would look like she was swimming. I still don't know how they figured it out. I had to find a new job.

I used to babysit for Mrs. Peterson's little boy, Joe. She got mad at me. I only wanted to see if someone could really get their tongue stuck to something frozen like in that movie? You know the one. "A Christmas Story". (By the way, it DOES work.)

PUBLICATIONS
I like Cosmo a lot. I read a book once. It was "The Illustrated Classic Little Women".

PRESENTATIONS
Mostly Christmas and my birthday, but I LOVE presents.

SCOPE OF PRACTICE
No. I actually prefer Lavoris.

POSITION DESIRED
Oooh... From the rear, please.

AVAILABILITY
No. I'm not dating anyone right now. Why?

P.S. Hey, this was pretty easy. Do I get the job?

 

[Vibro repairman]

The white-paper envelope smells faintly of vinegar and the large lop-sided stamp looks like it has been glued on, whilst at the back the envelope is sealed by wax. The handwritten address of St.Mayhem's is done fine and flowing careful penmanship, which follows through to the main letter within, where Igor Von Klappe is applying for the position of male nurse. Provided are numerous references given from doctors and professors in little-heard of european provinces acknowledging the sender as a diligant and hard-working individual, whose services have been missed, and who is wished well in his future endeavours.

 

[msboy8]

OOC: Finally, I'm in a thread with Maid of Marvels!

Steve G. Berg

Steve used to be a happy, slim, tall, well-muscled blue eyed, blonde haired guy. That was before he got married. Now with a nagging wife and live-in mother-in-law, he cannot even get it up anymore. He is rattled and has the shakes.

Steve has checked himself into St. Mayhem. It was either that or go crazy with a chain saw. He is now just skin and bones and it is hard to keep food down. Won't you please help him?

 

[candygin]

RESUME

Name: Candy Love, MD, PhD

Position Applying for: House Psychiatrist

Education:
College: somma cum loudly from Whatsamatta U
Medical School: F. U. School of Medicine (Funlichenkok Island)
Residency: Bellevue Sanitarium (two years as a patient, three years as a doctor).

Work Experience: Staff psychiatrist, Love-Touchin-Self Clinic; Moosepaw, Alaska (references from Dr. Dick Touchin and Dr. Harry Self available upon request). Left because of incident involving a bipolar polar bear and a cranky beaver (full story available upon request)

References
Dr. Ima Crazee -- the psychiatrist I'm seeing becuase of my polar bear issues
Dr. Electra Shock-Therapy -- F.U. School of Medicine
Dr. Ben Dover -- F.U. Institute for Sexual Research

 

[Lordmikel]

Name: Richard Kensington

Position: On top ... that is, the new adminstrator

Education: Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Berkely, Jamestown, Columbia, Cal-Tech, San Luis Obispo, Cal Poly, finally graduated from S.E.X. University. (Couldn't believe those other colleges frowned upon banging your teacher to get a good grade)

Work Experience:
Priscillas, St Hopes Hospital for Nymphomaniacs, St Judes Hospital for Sexually Repressed

References
Ms Thomas (English professer at Harvard)
Ms Dixie (Calculus teacher at Princeton)
Ms Turnbull (Arts teacher at Yale)
Mrs Richter (Sex-Ed teacher at Berkely)
... The list continues, all female teachers

Publications
I have published articles in Penthouse, Cosmo, and National Enquirer

Motto
I run a tight office, and have no problem using the proper tool for the proper job. So stay on my good side, or you'll find out what I consider to be the proper tool

 

[Maid of Marvels]

*parading the men around dressed only in pink tulle tutus*

Okay, so where are the women? Someone has to keep these guys in line.

 

[T Boner]

Name:

Manyballs Lecher, MD, PhD, MB, BMW, MVP, VIP, PIV etc.

Applying for:

Inside Out Patient; patient out, docs inside (me)

Qualifications:

All you can imagine and then more... tell me about your dreams...

Delusions:

I am Dr. Ima Crazee, Dr. Electra Shock-Therapy,
Dr. Ben Dover, Dr. Dick Touchin, Dr. Harry Self, Dr Lovemuscle and Candy Love, MD, PhD,
or at least I will aquire all their qualities, after (see next)

Diet:

Livers and brains of Dr. Ima Crazee, Dr. Electra Shock-Therapy,
Dr. Ben Dover, Dr. Dick Touchin, Dr. Harry Self, Dr Lovemuscle and Candy Love, MD, PhD.
Chianti, chilled.

Salary request:

Pay me, or else!

Medication:

Drugs, hell yeah!

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Can this possibly be that mild mannered Roman I've known for so many years? No. Not possible.... but maybe you ingested him somewhere along the way.

Welcome, T.

And a warm welcome to everyone else. I'll get the thread started soon... Just hoping for some ladies.

~Maid

 

[Maid of Marvels]

The thread is up. Do your best... or is that your "worst".

Still looking for some ladies -- all are welcome.

~Maid

St. Mayhem

 

[slowandeasy]

Fast Eddy

That's what they call him down at the flophouse where he sometimes resides ussually you find him getting a free nights room and board at the local jail or the city hospital. He'll even go for a mental institution if the need presents itself. He's in dire need of some TLC a free meal and a bath. Today we find him in front of St Mayhem hospital he hears the food there ain't all that bad and the nurses are not only good loooking but anxious to practice their skill on any body that looks the least bit live. Warm will do in a pinch.
Look for Eddy to be bleeding profusely (or so it seems. That small scratch on his groin is actually an old appendex scar but he borrowed some blood from a stray cat he found just ran over by a taxi.

What luck! that should be good for an overnight stay, right. Oh by the way Eddys a rather good looking fellow if you get past the five o'clock shadow and the flop house odor. In fact he cleans up real nice. Dark wavy hair, piercing blue eyes, about 5'10, 165 lbs. In good shape considering his eating and drinking habits maybe it's cause he's always running from either the law, an ex-wife, a jilted lover or someone he owes money to. But don't worry he won't get caught after all that's why they call him Fast Eddy.

 

[Tibxo]

Harold P Snottgrass the Third

No resumes here as Mr Snottgrass is a patient who is in to have an extremely large and painful boil remove from his posterior.

Unfortunately, he has a history with St Mayhem as he was the previous administrator of the hospital and being a particular man, had run the place not dissimilar to a Nazi commander running a concentration camp (he even has a small moustache).

Now, you can imagine: he wasn't a popular man and now he is back in their tender mercy.

Poor Harold....

 

[msboy8]

My character is still going to be playing, I'm just waitimg forore women to sign-up.

 

[msboy8]

Hi All,
I'm pulling out you have too many men and not enough women for my liking in this thread. I don't want to make matters worse, thanks anyway.