Hi, I wasn't sure what to call this thread, but I saw how much people connected in the "Caregivers to an ill spouse" thread, and wanted this to be somewhat related. Also I wanted to tell my story and get advice or hear the stories of others.
Anyway, my story has a (somewhat) happy ending, and I hope it will be uplifting, and not seem like I'm bragging or anything. I guess I should start by saying I'm male, 5'4", about 120 lbs, almost 25, living in Texas. I'm also a virgin with no sexual experience (I've never even kissed a girl). The rest you should be able to pick up (I hope this doesn't get too long).
About a year ago, after some troubling symptoms which I won't go into, I saw a few doctors, had some tests done, and was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, a chronic disease that causes ulcers in the colon. It is thought to be genetic, and cannot be passed from person to person.
I got sick quickly, and ended up spending two weeks in the hospital, where I lost 30 pounds of muscle that I definitely couldn't afford to lose. Getting out, I was on a lot of medication and would get tired easily. Reading up on my disease, I would hear two phrases that were supposed to be comforting, but that I would dread reading. They were:
"Even with this disease you can live a happy and healthy life." To me, this translated to "You will have to constantly think about getting this disease under control." Basically, that this wasn't just something that would go away.
The other is sex related (you know I had to get there eventually, right?). It said "There are other ways to show your love besides intercourse." Of course this is true, but what this meant to me was "Your entire sex life has just changed forever for the worse. You may not always be healthy enough to be intimate in any way." This was especially a blow since I had never even had a sex life before.
To skip over some parts and make this shorter, over the next year I tried hard in terms of my diet and exercise to get this disease under control, and it worked better than I ever imagined. Now I am healthier and in better shape than ever. After my condition went into remission, I went back to distance running, and am about to start running over 80 miles a week (no small task in the heat here). I started lifting weights regularly and built all my muscle back and more. About a month ago, I decided that I could probably go back to eating whatever I wanted, but then decided instead to go the more healthy route, and my body has reacted very positively.
Soon, I hope to find someone to share my health with. I know my sex life can be better than ever. I'm still batting zero in the sex and relationship department, but hopefully that will change. However, here are a few things I still worry about:
1. When to tell the person I am dating about my condition. The books I read say to make a connection first, but not to wait too long. After thinking about it, that makes sense to me. Switching scenarios, I would certainly date someone with diabetes, depression, etc., but if they bring it up on the first date, then that says to me that their condition has a lot of control over them, which is a lot to handle. If they bring it up confidently on the third or fourth date, I know that I'm dating the person, not the disease.
2. What if I get sick again? Knowing about my condition now, I think I'll be able to act fast and get things under control, and this shouldn't be a problem. Of course, things could get bad and maybe I'll need hospital care or surgery again, but I don't want to focus on what may happen in the future and just live my life now.
3. Will a woman accept my healthy lifestyle? I gave up the tiny bit of drinking I did, as well as going to restaurants (I still go some, but I try to be healthy. Once a week at most). I hope the benefits of having me as a partner will outweigh these inconviences. Anyway, who would want to go out a lot when your partner has 25 years of sex to catch up on? (Not that I should have been having sex between the ages of 0 and 18, but you get the idea).
Anyway, any similar stories people want to share? Or advice? I just wanted to share this with people. I hope you don't mind. Also, any parts I left out that you are curious about, let me know.
EriMaleTx
Anyway, my story has a (somewhat) happy ending, and I hope it will be uplifting, and not seem like I'm bragging or anything. I guess I should start by saying I'm male, 5'4", about 120 lbs, almost 25, living in Texas. I'm also a virgin with no sexual experience (I've never even kissed a girl). The rest you should be able to pick up (I hope this doesn't get too long).
About a year ago, after some troubling symptoms which I won't go into, I saw a few doctors, had some tests done, and was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, a chronic disease that causes ulcers in the colon. It is thought to be genetic, and cannot be passed from person to person.
I got sick quickly, and ended up spending two weeks in the hospital, where I lost 30 pounds of muscle that I definitely couldn't afford to lose. Getting out, I was on a lot of medication and would get tired easily. Reading up on my disease, I would hear two phrases that were supposed to be comforting, but that I would dread reading. They were:
"Even with this disease you can live a happy and healthy life." To me, this translated to "You will have to constantly think about getting this disease under control." Basically, that this wasn't just something that would go away.
The other is sex related (you know I had to get there eventually, right?). It said "There are other ways to show your love besides intercourse." Of course this is true, but what this meant to me was "Your entire sex life has just changed forever for the worse. You may not always be healthy enough to be intimate in any way." This was especially a blow since I had never even had a sex life before.
To skip over some parts and make this shorter, over the next year I tried hard in terms of my diet and exercise to get this disease under control, and it worked better than I ever imagined. Now I am healthier and in better shape than ever. After my condition went into remission, I went back to distance running, and am about to start running over 80 miles a week (no small task in the heat here). I started lifting weights regularly and built all my muscle back and more. About a month ago, I decided that I could probably go back to eating whatever I wanted, but then decided instead to go the more healthy route, and my body has reacted very positively.
Soon, I hope to find someone to share my health with. I know my sex life can be better than ever. I'm still batting zero in the sex and relationship department, but hopefully that will change. However, here are a few things I still worry about:
1. When to tell the person I am dating about my condition. The books I read say to make a connection first, but not to wait too long. After thinking about it, that makes sense to me. Switching scenarios, I would certainly date someone with diabetes, depression, etc., but if they bring it up on the first date, then that says to me that their condition has a lot of control over them, which is a lot to handle. If they bring it up confidently on the third or fourth date, I know that I'm dating the person, not the disease.
2. What if I get sick again? Knowing about my condition now, I think I'll be able to act fast and get things under control, and this shouldn't be a problem. Of course, things could get bad and maybe I'll need hospital care or surgery again, but I don't want to focus on what may happen in the future and just live my life now.
3. Will a woman accept my healthy lifestyle? I gave up the tiny bit of drinking I did, as well as going to restaurants (I still go some, but I try to be healthy. Once a week at most). I hope the benefits of having me as a partner will outweigh these inconviences. Anyway, who would want to go out a lot when your partner has 25 years of sex to catch up on? (Not that I should have been having sex between the ages of 0 and 18, but you get the idea).
Anyway, any similar stories people want to share? Or advice? I just wanted to share this with people. I hope you don't mind. Also, any parts I left out that you are curious about, let me know.
EriMaleTx
