Can you love someone without being in love?

[Guest]

Try explaining the difference to someone who is in love with you.

 

[*bratcat*]

yes, and it is IMPOSSIBLE to explain...

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Yes i think you can...

There are different type of love, and i see a distinct differance between "I love you" and "I'm in love with you"

I know a girl that i've told her I love her, she has said the same to me, known her awhile, but we both know nothing is going to happen between us. and because of that, we are comeing closer and closer friends.

but for your perdicament, if they are in love with you and you are just firends with them... I'll i can say is be blunt and tell them. You like them but don't see anything serious evolveing beyond that. (this is what i'd do may not be the right thing though )

 

[Guest]

Yes.

 

[lilminx]

Yes... been there, done that...

 

[estevie]

yes, bratcat, it makes sense. and you are so right, it is impossible to explain, how does one go from being in love to just loving. I was in love with hubby once, I still love him...I am in love with someone else...how does that happen? Is it just the 'newness' of a relationship? is it just that 'oldness' of the other?

 

[nasty]

Yep. I love all my friends, and family. But, I'm not in love with all of them. If I was, their'd be a huge orgy tonight.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[estevie]

that, my sweet este, is the question of the year!!

I certainly wish someone had the answer!

 

[nasty]

I love all of you guys, but, since we don't know each other, I'm not in love with you. Perhaps lilminx

 

[lilminx]

Thanks, nasty. I don't think you're in love with me though. You just THINK you're in love with me... Now, if you knew the REAL me, you'd probably think I'm a bitch...

 

[nasty]

OH!!!! But I like bitches. They can get SO ROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lilminx]

Youm ust be a glutton for punishment then...

 

[Renegade]

Yes.

What she said.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Thanks, nasty. I don't think you're in love with me though. You just THINK you're in love with me... Now, if you knew the REAL me, you'd probably think I'm a bitch...

YOU BITCH! YOU KILLED KENNY!

 

[lilminx]

STG- if I killed Kenny, that would make me a bastard... but I can't be, since my parents were married....

 

[Karmic]

Yup, its what girls tell you after they say they love you and run off with some guy called Russell

 

[Siren]

 

[cymbidia]

yes, bratcat, it makes sense. and you are so right, it is impossible to explain, how does one go from being in love to just loving. I was in love with hubby once, I still love him...I am in love with someone else...how does that happen? Is it just the 'newness' of a relationship? is it just that 'oldness' of the other?

My husband and i are currently divorcing after two great kids and 20 years together. I know i was in love with him once upon a time; i know, too, that it's been a long time since that was true. I do love him, however, he's a good man, a great dad to our kids, and will always be a close friend.

I think that people fall out of being "in love" over time. It's a process, much as falling in love is a state of emotions that takes some time to fully develop.

We change over time. If our partner doesn't change at approximately the same rate, in approximately the same direction, we may well find ourselves, some years down the road, looking at the stranger across the dinner table and wondering how we got to be sitting here, with that person, and what the hell happened to who we used to be.

Over time, we change, as do they.
If the changes do not mesh well, a falling out of love may occur if other factors don't conspire to make us blind to the loss of in love feelings for our partner.

It's not newness or oldness.
IMO, it's just change in different directions.

 

[Guest]

edited

 

[Guest]

Yes, but if you have told the person over and over how much you love them and how much they mean to you, then turn around and say "Oh, by the way, I'm not IN love with you, but I love you",
there could a problem.

 

[Celtlan]

in answer to question

Yes there is a difference with being in love and loving someone

only way i can think of explaining it myself is that you "love" your family but your not "in love" with them.

but like most other people I sure cant really explain it.

ONly other thing that springs to mind is that for a long while I still cared for/loved my ex after we split. Now I'm not in love with her at all. Mabey its in the tense i.e past or present or mabey even future.