Can You Help? Valentine's Day Request

[Barbarian_Bride]

Hello All....
Bijou gave me the idea of posting for help here, so here's the situation...

Valentine's Day is coming up, my husband is a Seabee (think Dirt Sailor) and he's serving in Iraq now, and this will be our first Valentine's Day separated.

I would LOVE to send him so very hot poetry as a sort of present.

Could you fine people point me at some very hot, romantic poems and/or authors that I could send to a tired, horny guy serving his country in the desert?

Thanks,
Barbarian Bride

 

[Angeline]

Hello All....
Bijou gave me the idea of posting for help here, so here's the situation...

Valentine's Day is coming up, my husband is a Seabee (think Dirt Sailor) and he's serving in Iraq now, and this will be our first Valentine's Day separated.

I would LOVE to send him so very hot poetry as a sort of present.

Could you fine people point me at some very hot, romantic poems and/or authors that I could send to a tired, horny guy serving his country in the dessert?

Thanks,
Barbarian Bride

This is a very sweet request and I wish the best to you and your hubby. How about if we all post some of our erotic poems for you? What do you say, Poets? Help a sistuh out!

Passion's Progress
by Angeline

It's just one finger,
tipping silk on silken lips
to trace a bow of flesh,
to slip inside a wet caress
in welcome circles lazy
perfect parody of ride
abides.

I love your mouth,
she whispers into his.
I love yours, too.

One creeping finger
swoops in curls of hair
to linger at his chest
to taunt in giggles pressed,
released.

Oh my!
Sensitive there.

Now breathing faster,
sighing through her hair,
his slipping hands know where,
exactly where and how,
and now they kiss, exchanging heat.
Their mouths and bodies meet

I want you everywhere.

So finger slides no pause
to rhapsodic rise this paradox
of silk indurate
feathering up thighs.

Emboldened touch arise
and sink in cycles,
as the promise in her eyes

implies
implies.

Then fingers join and guide,
and rhythm moves astride,
gasping enjoined
in building quivershake.

For me he says,
for me.

And yes. And yes.
They break on waves,
tumbling together
though the wash of tides
to breathing slowed,
to dream to silence.
Satisfied.

*************************​

And one more:

Caramel Suite
by Angeline

Sun up down. Oh. You
know you can melt me
in day turns of twilit pouts,
lily soft I churn under

that flame, buttery sizzled
across your moveable feast.
I glaze smoky brushed, shining
the first notes of desire slide

to tingle open-mouthed.
Breathless. Yes. Lips ply
succulent promises. Heated
silken limbs twitch and ride

the simmer, the breaking sea
chorus moans, bubble bubble
caramel consumed. Sweet skin
burns cool waves fading timbre.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I'd recommend Rumi and Rilke, and well, everybody here.

For myself, this is a very old piece but perhaps a good choice for this project.


Salt

I am learning about salt
about the faint sweet
sheen: sweat turns you epic
drops onto my breasts and stomach
when you labor over me

about amazing metallic brine
heavy ocean beads from tiny scratches
or smeared on your cock and thighs
when you plunge to my bleeding womb

about the musky ocean salt
of your semen, wet pearl traces
on my skin, stitched and
stretched between us

about the tiny
watery drops of sea
that I can take from the corner of your eye
with the tip of my tongue.

 

[champagne1982]

Goodnight

I'd love to fall asleep
Around you
Beneath you
Against you
Wrapped up in you
So close.

Your lips a breath away from being kissed.
Your heart a beat away from my touch.
Your skin a scent away from tasting.
Your ear so close to my mind,
I only need to think and you hear me.

 

[Tzara]

Hello All....
Bijou gave me the idea of posting for help here, so here's the situation...

Valentine's Day is coming up, my husband is a Seabee (think Dirt Sailor) and he's serving in Iraq now, and this will be our first Valentine's Day separated.

I would LOVE to send him so very hot poetry as a sort of present.

Could you fine people point me at some very hot, romantic poems and/or authors that I could send to a tired, horny guy serving his country in the dessert?

Thanks,
Barbarian Bride

I could point you at some poetry I liked. I'm guy, so maybe that would work.

But.

What your guy wants is you. He wants to hear your voice. That someone else has written something more elegantly phrased than you can manage might be good, might be hot, but it won't be the same.

He wants to hear from you.

So just tell him. However best you can.

I don't know. That's what I would want.

 

[Barbarian_Bride]

Wow Angeline, those were great! Thank you for the poems and offering a challenge to others.

 

[Barbarian_Bride]

I could point you at some poetry I liked. I'm guy, so maybe that would work.

But.

What your guy wants is you. He wants to hear your voice. That someone else has written something more elegantly phrased than you can manage might be good, might be hot, but it won't be the same.

He wants to hear from you.

So just tell him. However best you can.

I don't know. That's what I would want.

Thank you for the encouragement. I've been writing him erotic scenes for months, but I can't write poetry. I thought finding some good poetry, like he's been finding songs for me would be a fun Valentine's present.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

BUMP.

Don't forget we're still on this project, lovely ones... give her some nice verse, huh?

bj

 

[The_Fool]

Pretty much anything I write anymore gets posted to the Indelible thread. Link in my sig. Feel free to browse. Some if it's hot, some of it's not.

 

[Barbarian_Bride]

I could point you at some poetry I liked. I'm guy, so maybe that would work.

But.

What your guy wants is you. He wants to hear your voice. That someone else has written something more elegantly phrased than you can manage might be good, might be hot, but it won't be the same.

He wants to hear from you.

So just tell him. However best you can.

I don't know. That's what I would want.

Ok, I took your advice... This is my first poem EVER that wasn't a class assignment...

Your broad shoulders, white
taper down to your unblemished ass.
I swing leather straps,
they crack against skin
undilating round.
Your white skin turns red,
such a beautiful sight.

You moan, squirm under the straps.
An adrenaline rush
from seeing your pleasure,
I feel the power over you.

Shoulders to legs,
the straps dance, flail over your skin
til you can stand no more.

Then, a soft caress,
gentle kisses, kind words
rain over you.
We dance to the bed.


**********************************

Could you guys give some feedback? Is this something I could send to my hubby?

Thanks,
Bride

 

[Tzara]

Ok, I took your advice... This is my first poem EVER that wasn't a class assignment...

Your broad shoulders, white
taper down to your unblemished ass.
I swing leather straps,
they crack against skin
undilating round.
Your white skin turns red,
such a beautiful sight.

You moan, squirm under the straps.
An adrenaline rush
from seeing your pleasure,
I feel the power over you.

Shoulders to legs,
the straps dance, flail over your skin
til you can stand no more.

Then, a soft caress,
gentle kisses, kind words
rain over you.
We dance to the bed.


**********************************

Could you guys give some feedback? Is this something I could send to my hubby?

Thanks,
Bride

Of course it is.

I'm not the best person to comment on this, though. My idea of a hot poem from my wife runs more to soft-focus photography, a good chardonnay, and Chopin on the stereo. Or at least Barry White.

Hey. I own good speakers, and they reproduce bass well.

This ass-whacking stuff, though, is way out of my league. Plus, writing something particularly for a lover is a special thing. The rule there is more does this make my guy (or gal) hot? more than does this poem work for readers in general?

OK. Enough disclaimers. Given those caveats, let me make a couple of comments on your poem. Please note: Others may (will) disagree with me. My opinion is my own, and I have no particular skill or training that you should pay any attention to.

That being said, there is a lot about the poem that I think is good. You've shown some care about line breaks, picking emphasis words rather than just ending a line willy nilly. You have a lot of good verb choices--taper, swing, crack--that are active and vivid. "Undulating" is spelled wrong and, I think, "till."

The biggest problem I would have with this poem is that the images are kind of generic, not specific or vivid enough. I don't "see" a sharp enough picture, given what you've written.

But, m'dear, that may not be a problem. If I was to read the generic line "I want you to fuck me" in some anybody's poem, it wouldn't be very lively. If I read it in a poem my gnaw-my-fingers-in-lust-for-her wrote for me, we would be politely drawing the curtain before the FCC went into cardiac arrest.

Context is everything.

Tinker with it if you want, but I think, as I said earlier, that hearing directly from you would be much more erotic than whatever clever other poet might say. They weren't writing about him. You are.

Makes a difference.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Thanks, Tz, and I agree. I think for her specific goals this is darn fine already. She deserves props for being brave enough to follow your advice.

please forgive the truncated left-hand typing.

here's the cool backstory. BB was with me in a very loud bar Fri. night, which is the context in which I write best. So i gave her an assignment: listen to the beat. Think about yr man. Think about floggers. And then just write what you see.

I think for a first ever poem in that context she did really well, but then she's an Aquarius and they generally do well in high-stim environments.

better than a lot of beginner poetry i've seen posted here, i think. We may inspire her to write a whole lot more at this rate. Maybe i'll take her out again this friday.

you'd be particularly happy to see what this is doing for her confidence, and how nicely it's keeping her upbeat while the man is thousands of miles away being a hero.

very fond of bb, if that's not obvious.

bj

 

[Barbarian_Bride]

aww shucks bijou... I just have an excellent teacher and friend to help.