Can you find honesty anymore?

[Pleasureyou2015]

A lot of people on this site claim to want trust and honesty. But when it comes down to it, they exaggerate, conceal, and outright lie. Those who fall into that category need leave now.
I wish to address those ladies, still reading. I am older man 55, who has had both good and bad relationships. The biggest issues have always been trust, openness, and respect.
I will be as open and honest as possible. Having been a Dom and Daddy, I want to show a woman, caring, tenderness, romance, and show her all the pleasure she can know. I want to give her all my attention, hold her, cuddle with her, share life with her.
The only qualities I am looking for is complete honesty. No boyfriends, husbands, or partners. You need to be unattached. That is all. I am open to chat, to learn about you, and you about me.
If this is something that interests you, then by all means contact me. If you do not wish honesty, or to be honest, then please look elsewhere. I hope to talk to some of you soon.

 

[boomer177]

Amen. So many here conveniently draw a false, self-serving dichotomy between online and real life. as if the time we spent here is any less part of each of our real lives as anything else we do. Under the off-the-wall prevailing ethic, anything goes online; the most basic norms of social interaction are deemed irrelevant; and human beings are discarded without a second thought. Not only is such behavior wholly unacceptable as an ethical matter, unless it changes--and sooner rather than later--it will destroy online as it becomes more and more a fool's errand to trust or rely on anything anyone else says or does. Persons engaging in such unacceptable behavior should be called on it, loudly and repeatedly. That is the only way matters will ever change.

Time for dessert.

 

[Aphro]

Some people don't WANT honesty. They are looking for the fantasy, the excitement.

The problem lies with believing in too much, too soon.

Just because she tells you she's a 36-24-36 Scandinavian swimsuit model, it really behooves one to temper his enthusiasm with a generous measure of skepticism.

 

[Misshotndeep]

I'm always honest. People just don't tend to like my delivery. Shrugs

 

[Dave_Loves_Puss]

Well, aren't you just special, Mr. Washington. "I cannot tell a lie." Whatever.

 

[Conager]

It's hardly ever heard...

 

[Iceprincess12]

I don't believe anyone on lit owes me anything. Everyone is here for their own reasons. If we cross paths and those reasons line up, that is great, but if after awhile he decides things have changed...I am no strings attached. I actually was friends with someone that I though was honest and it turns out she wasn't (not romantic, just friends) so I now don't even believe friends owe me anything. I like honesty, I give it but if you don't, I don't lose any sleep over it.

I also know someone who tricked people, not me, but I cut off all contact. When someone goes out of their way to do that, it is too much trouble to try and keep up a friendship.

It is hard with long term relationships, broken trust can hurt but being clear on what you want and what she wants can help with that. There are two sides to each story and what you saw may be completely different than what she saw. So she may not have lied, she just may not have felt the way you did.

 

[Pleasureyou2015]

No one has to lie, if they want fantasy only, there are those who are happy with just that, and I have seen many say so quite clearly. I applaud them for their honesty. Eventually, the lies will show themselves, even the most careful liar will slip, and the house will come down. Be up front to begin with, and you never have to look over your shoulder, or be careful with what you say. No one is perfect, but if you tell the truth to begin with, then the friends you find stay because they enjoy you, not the false image you create.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Well, aren't you just special, Mr. Washington. "I cannot tell a lie." Whatever.

I didn't say I couldn't tell lie. I just am to lazy to lie. That takes effort and time I don't care to give.

 

[ohdirtygirl]

I've found 99% of people are dishonest to one degree or another. I take everyone's words with a grain of salt these days. I've been fucked over more than I like to admit.

 

[boomer177]

A sad commentary, indeed.

 

[Pleasureyou2015]

Especially when they lie, become defensive or offensive. Even choosing to do multiple PM's ranting about things. It is sad they cannot accept the truth displayed in their actions.

 

[ashesatwork]

it's the internet..people get to be the person they want to be.

no.

 

[boomer177]

But, OP, I feel rather badly that the focus of your personal quest has been subsumed in all this.

 

[mamasota]

Perhaps the "honesty" topic would be better served, on it's own Thread.

I see no reason to lie about who I am. If anything, my greatest setback seems to be showing my true self, and not be considered "their type". Entertaining certain (sexual) fantasies on line doesn't make one dishonest, it is the inventing of falsehoods about oneself, in order to be more appealing in some way, that is dishonesty, which when discovered, can be devastating to others.
In agreement with boomer, I also feel that time spent here is no less real to me, than in my regular day-to-day activities. People with whom we are in contact out here, aren't always genuine either, I have learned that it is just so much easier for them to brandish their deceptive personnas online.

 

[NiceNastyMann]

As the famous INTJ House said - everybody lies.

If we were all honest and aboveboard and 100% pure blah blah blah...

No one would be here.

And we would be all tuning each other out and not just here but in real life.

Lying is a survival skill the human animal created so as to be able to NOT be stuck into the pack. Humans can re-invent themselves.

Get over it.

Oh. Damn it. I meant this as a positive trait. Forget it, some snowflake out there will take exception and...

 

[Misshotndeep]

Especially when they lie, become defensive or offensive. Even choosing to do multiple PM's ranting about things. It is sad they cannot accept the truth displayed in their actions.

Truth is subjective. Only fact is 100%. What one person see's and experiences is seldom the same as the next.
We all have different backgrounds and life experiences. Those color our view. Even in writing. Take for example how many people can read the same book and pull different wisdom from it. Or how you can re-read a book and each time see something different in the story you didn't before.

 

[ohdirtygirl]

As the famous INTJ House said - everybody lies.

If we were all honest and aboveboard and 100% pure blah blah blah...

No one would be here.

And we would be all tuning each other out and not just here but in real life.

Lying is a survival skill the human animal created so as to be able to NOT be stuck into the pack. Humans can re-invent themselves.

Get over it.

Oh. Damn it. I meant this as a positive trait. Forget it, some snowflake out there will take exception and...

Get over it? No. No one has to get over the fact that people can't be up front. They have the right to hate being betrayed. Lying is a survival skill? Maybe in a life or death situation. But not as an every day mechanism. You're spouting bullshit and you know it.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Get over it? No. No one has to get over the fact that people can't be up front. They have the right to hate being betrayed. Lying is a survival skill? Maybe in a life or death situation. But not as an every day mechanism. You're spouting bullshit and you know it.

Tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Stork... Just saying....

 

[ohdirtygirl]

Tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Stork... Just saying....

Right...

 

[Pleasureyou2015]

If that's a survival skill, I'm glad I never learned it. You can survive, and even thrive, with honesty. But not everyone cares to hear it, or use it. Its easier to embellish life with a lie, than admit the truth. I work for a living, I don't care if it's hard, so long as I do it honestly

 

[Misshotndeep]

If that's a survival skill, I'm glad I never learned it. You can survive, and even thrive, with honesty. But not everyone cares to hear it, or use it. Its easier to embellish life with a lie, than admit the truth. I work for a living, I don't care if it's hard, so long as I do it honestly

Every one tells lies. May be not huge ones. But when your asked if she looks fat in that dress you say??? When you don't answer your phone even thought it's right next to you your lying to the person on the other end. When you say you'll call and don't. when someone you care about makes a bad dish and you smile and eat it. Hell, Thousands of people lie to them selves every day when they make new years resolutions. They know damn well they are not gonna keep those.

Plus as I have learned it's more how you deliver your brand of honest that counts just as much as what you say. You can tell someone they are fat as fuck or you can tell them you are concerned they are not taking care of their health and that decision bothers you.

 

[quietlylooking]

The small number of people from Lit that I have become close to have, I realize over the course of years, been honest with me.

I suspect that many of the others that I never really got to know may not have been... but then, I'll never know. And that is fine.

When you don't answer your phone even thought it's right next to you your lying to the person on the other end.

And Misshotndeep, I must disagree with you here. I don't believe that it is necessary to answer the phone every time it rings. Calling someone on the phone does not obligate the person on the other end to answer. And not picking up the call in no way makes you dishonest. Not answering the phone just signals to the other person that you cannot talk at that time. Just leave a message, and let them triage.

 

[NiceNastyMann]

Get over it? No. No one has to get over the fact that people can't be up front. They have the right to hate being betrayed. Lying is a survival skill? Maybe in a life or death situation. But not as an every day mechanism. You're spouting bullshit and you know it.

Not at all. Truth.

2 facts to support my thesis.

Yours (or anyone else's) login. True name? Or anonymous nick name?

You don't have PM's turned on. No way to contact you. My guess - and that is all that it is - it's a way for you to control access.

Not very up front of you...

Total unvarnished 100% constant up front honesty? Good lord the world would grind to a halt.

Now please excuse me, I have a fascinating phone call on my cell. Someone trying to sell me aluminum siding. Even though I'm on the Do Not Call registry. Imagine that. Huh.

And no. That dress does NOT make your ass look fat all all. Cross my heart.

 

[ohdirtygirl]

Not at all. Truth.

2 facts to support my thesis.

Yours (or anyone else's) login. True name? Or anonymous nick name?

You don't have PM's turned on. No way to contact you. My guess - and that is all that it is - it's a way for you to control access.

Not very up front of you...

Total unvarnished 100% constant up front honesty? Good lord the world would grind to a halt.

Now please excuse me, I have a fascinating phone call on my cell. Someone trying to sell me aluminum siding. Even though I'm on the Do Not Call registry. Imagine that. Huh.

And no. That dress does NOT make your ass look fat all all. Cross my heart.

I suppose then it's the perception of a lie. An anonymous username isn'tnecessarily for deception In the way of wanting to fool someone. Oh is short for ohio, and i do indeed see myself as a dirty girl. So, it is a truth about me. To me lying is for the purpose of deception.

My pm's are off because when I had them on, my mailbox got flooded. I didn't like that.