Can anyone help me with this problem??? (Emails)

[Nicole]

Hey everyone, I am looking fore some help or advice here, I'd love anyone's opinion so please jump in.

Today I actually found out that I'm not a very good Email friend. I upset some one that means a hell of a lot to me. Here we go ...

When I came here back in the beginning of February, it was my first time on the net, and to say the least I guarded myself pretty tightly. I never gave my Email address or ICQ # to anyone, I made one friend from this board pretty what straight away and we had contact, sometimes up to 3 or 4 emails in one day, I liked it to say the least. I wrote him, he wrote me, I wrote him so forth and so forth, then we started to talk over ICQ, the dreaded one on one so to speak. Well of course I got hooked on that and the Emails stopped, I had nothing more to say really so why Email?

Anyway back on track, I then got another mail address here at Lit and Put it up for all to have, still being fairly guarded as to who I spoke to mind you. I made three very close friends, Havoc, Golden and Ravenloft (whom I already spoke to), and so it all began, I wrote regularly to Golden, we had the best friendship in the world, I told him all and he told me all, we still are friends but due to his work commitments we don't spend a lot of time together anymore Havoc well, I love the man and you all know that, so no more on that. Ravenloft and I still talk but, due to things that have happened between us the trust that we once shared will never again be there.

I then started to talk to a wonderful human being in Magic Merlin, Well Nicole stuffed that up by not replying to quite a few of his Emails, and boy do I miss the man.

Now, well here we come to it ... I made a fantastically gorgeous friend on the boards back in March, someone that I had no private conversation with, we just had fun on the boards with each other, but we had a bond that no-one could have broken if they tried. Well today I got an Email from her (yes people her), and I have hurt her deeply, because I didn't respond to her letters. I feel very close to her and it hurts me that she is hurting. I also know that she has been through an awful lot and that I need to be there for her, as she is for me. Please babe, please accept my apology to you.

You see here is the problem .... I find it hard to go back to Emails now, having AIM and ICQ plus MSN Messenger, I am so used to talking with the person, sharing details about me and then seeing there response, having them share details about themselves and being able to answer them straight away. I just find it hard to put down in a letter. Plus the fact that when I do get on here some weeks I don't always have time to write back, I come here and see what your all up to then log off, but these are all excuses because we are all busy people.

Soooooooooooo I was sorta thinking that some of you may have some ideas for me, on how I can become a better Email friend. Anything at all. Please just help me out here, I hate hurting people.

To all the people that I have had contact with and then not answered, Whisper, Cheyenne, Andy, Dreamer and so forth, please accept my apology.

Renee babe you mean so very much to me, I hurt you and I am so sorry about that, I am going to try my hardest to be a better friend to you.

So any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Thank-you

 

[Mackdaddy_74]

I will take a shot at this...........

Ok this might not be of much help,but it is my $0.02.
Send them an email explaining what has been going on in your life and that you are truly sorry.Also tell them that "instant" messaging has gotten so popular, emailing has slipped from peoples minds from what it was a few months ago.Reword this as many times as you have to,(keep telling them how you feel)until they realize what they mean to you.I hope this helps you.

 

[Ezzy]

One thing not to do...

Is to batch E mails to all of them at the same time, that just makes me feel "so special" when that happens.

But for most folks as said above an E to explain, would be the first move in my book, and an invite E mail to your favorite IM to them as well, if you go to the site you got the download from, you can send one from there.

If you find IM better to use in order to get your ideas across, include your contact details when you send the invite.

Hope this helps.


EZ http://smilecwm.tripod.com/cwm2/sleep.gif

 

[SimplySouthern]

I am the last person who should be giving advice on this, because Goddness knows I always forget to email back. I, myself, am more of an IM person than a bigtime email person. I am so busy that I don't have a lot of expendable time to sit and type out long emails. Everyone that emails me is assured a response...but to be honest it takes alot to keep me emailing back. Ask qustions....spark interesting topics...something! I suppose that is why I am more of an IM and BB person...always something good to talk about, and if not....I can make up my own topic.

Seriously, Nic...maybe just explain to them and see if you can't at least write one a day to tell them the haps in your part of the world.

 

[Dreamer1]

Nikki, you are a good friend and always have been. You certainly don't owe me an apology. You have never let me down sweetie. I know what you mean about the email thing though. What often happens to me when trying to respond to emails, good friends hail me on AIM and then we discuss what was going into the email. It is tough to keep up on email but even brief responses to some are more than enough. I try to be a good email friend but it can be difficult at times. You try very hard to be a good friend and it shows. I am sure others see it too.

 

[Nicole]

Thank-you and Hugs to you all ((((((ALL)))))))))

Dreamer you are one to trust and you know that I would go out of my way for you, as you have so many times for me. I try so hard to just let you know that you are my friend, and I'm pretty sure you know what I feel and think, you seem fairly in tune with me ... Thanks babe, Now get those handcuffs and chains out and tie me to your Harley babe *ummm did I say that??*

Thanks to everyone else that has offered suggestions I sorta need them you know.

Have a good one

 

[Cheyenne]

It's okay, you haven't hurt me. I just figured once the topic of you and Havoc was public knowledge, you didn't have a reason to email me anymore. Your life's details are generally on the board for all to see, and that's okay, too.

I'm the opposite of you- I like email better than ICQ. Don't even have IM. ICQ can be distracting sometimes. Email I can do whenever I can fit it in, but I'm on the computer the majority of my day either at work or at home. I type fast, so it doesn't take me long to type out a fairly lengthy email. LOL

I don't know how you become a better email friend. If you really don't want to take the time to answer someone, you probably shouldn't try to maintain the email relationship. If it is an obligation and a burden to you, that will become clear in the shortness and the infrequency of the emails you send.

 

[bobbyprize]

in my humble opinion.....ok in my opinion, I've never been called humble before send them an email that it is much easier to talk and to read one on one or even in a group than it is to sit down and try to think of what to put in an email. From the short time Ive been here, Ive learned that 99% of the people are intelligent here. I'm sure your friend is one of the 99% as well as yourself. tell her that you are truly sorry and ask her to chat with you so you can interact more easily. good luck

 

[Xander]

Well Nikki babe. You know I pretty much use both emails and AIM, ICQ equally much. So there.
I can't really give you an advice, on being a better Email friend. Since You ARE my very dear friend.
Shit I lost the thread here somewhere........I have no idea what to say.....damn.....

 

[Nicole]

Shit I lost the thread here somewhere........I have no idea what to say.....damn.....

And that my friend is why I love you you never know where your at when your with me LOL.

Thank-you everyone for your great advice and I am going to take it on borad.

Thanks everyone

 

[Renee]

Renee babe you mean so very much to me, I hurt you and I am so sorry about that, I am going to try my hardest to be a better friend to you.

Thank-you

OMG!! Stop it... I was just worried because I haven't heard from you or seen you online to IM you, and the few times I did see you sign on your were off in a flash... but, you know all of that now... it's hard to IM you, only because we are on such different time schedules like I said before.

Nikki, You don't have to try to be a better friend.. you are the best friend a person could have.

You know I love ya

 

[Sammyjo]

Well, I've e-mailed various people, at various times, and gotten no response. Contrarily, I always respond, though sometimes not in a timely manner. My ICQ is always on when I am on. I sent out a bulk message to my Lit contacts that if I am online, no matter what mode, you are free to contact me...still, I get nothing...I think the only person that really talks to me anymore is Ravenloft *hugs* you mean so much to me, and always get me in a good mood. Sometimes I hear from Nurse, but she's very busy...*hugs* if you are reading this...I miss you, babe!!

Know what? That's ok...I tried to cultivate some friendships on here, but it hasn't really worked out. THAT is why I always tell people to be careful. I know a handful of people that now wish they had listened to me when I said that.

Well, the door is always open...I'm not as bad as some of you would have me be.

 

[Ravenloft]

---I think the only person that really talks to me anymore is Ravenloft *hugs* you mean so much to me, and always get me in a good mood.---

...For I am the lord of ALL cheese!!!

---Well, the door is always open...I'm not as bad as some of you would have me be.---

What if we WANT to have you BAD?! Oh... I am soo wrong! Heheh!