Calling the experts!

[SlaveS]

My wife,(the mistress), and I,(the slave), have been playing around with BDSM for about 6 years now. It first started out as playful fun, now it has become a friday and/or saturday night experience! We have a great time together.
My questions are- Is there a site that has slave contracts,rules, or services the slave is supposed to complete?
Second, is there a site were my wife could go and read up on how to be a better mistress?
Some time back we purchased the Mistress Manual, Different Loving, and other such books. She read them throughly.
Things are going good right now and I'm trying to bring in new ideas for the both of us to do together.
Like any relationship you always want to try different things, keeps the fire going!

SlaveS

 

[KokopelliRises]

I'd take a peek over at the BDSM section of the discussion boards here at Lit if you haven't already. They have a library that might be useful.

https://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=26

Welcome to Lit!

 

[SweetErika]

As KR said, this is probably best suited for the BDSM Talk forum; you may want to ask LadyG, our moderator, to move it there.

My questions are- Is there a site that has slave contracts,rules, or services the slave is supposed to complete?

If you use a search engine, you will find MANY sites with contracts, checklists, etc. The BDSM Library sticky in the BDSM forum would be a great place to start.

However, there's no prescription for play or WIITWD (what it is that we do), and each couple/group has to figure out what's right for them personally. While sites, books and members of the community are great resources for ideas and information, you and your wife must decide what you're comfortable with and enjoy by trying whatever sparks your interest. Like most things, this is a learning process that involves trial and error and a good amount of time.

Second, is there a site were my wife could go and read up on how to be a better mistress?

What does SHE believe she needs to work on? Did she tell you to come solicit ideas, or are you doing this on your own intitiative?

I've been through a lot of the BDSM and FemDom sites, and have yet to find one that says how to be a better Dominant (well, apart from the basics of safety, respect, trust, etc.). Why? Because as I said, there's no set way of doing this - we all have our own styles and kinks. There's no easy answer here; your wife will have to figure out what SHE likes/wants/needs, learn your kinks and limits and nurture the Dominant within.

If she has specific questions on how to do things or individual aspects of BDSM, she'll likely get good advice via research and communities like this one (I also like CollarMe for specifics).

 

[SlaveS]

Yes, we talk about trying new ideas.
I guess what I should be asking is- at what point does it become repetitious?
Let me give you an example...
Some time ago, my wife thought it would be fun for her to make me clean the house, ( naked with a rope tried around my balls going up to around my neck). If I did something wrong she would pull the rope.
As I cleaned house sometimes she would make me stop cleaning and rub her back,feet, or bath her. Then go back to cleaning.
I loved it! It's hard to vacuum with a hard-on.
We still do this, however it seems to be getting old. I still get turned on by her making me clean house and service/serving her, but it's becoming old. I don't want to loose the spark.
I hope you understand the problem I'm facing.
So does anyone have some new ideas that they would be willing to share?
Thanks, SlaveS

 

[SlaveS]

KoKopelli, thank you for the information on this site.
This site has become a great learning tool!
I'm,we're, still taking in as much info as we can!
Thanks,
SlaveS

 

[shy slave]

I had to smile about you asking how to make her a better Mistress.

Someone that seems the wrong way around to me.

I am glad it is going well for you, and I agree with the others the BDSM forum may be a better place to ask these questions

 

[SweetErika]

Yes, we talk about trying new ideas.
I guess what I should be asking is- at what point does it become repetitious?
Let me give you an example...
Some time ago, my wife thought it would be fun for her to make me clean the house, ( naked with a rope tried around my balls going up to around my neck). If I did something wrong she would pull the rope.
As I cleaned house sometimes she would make me stop cleaning and rub her back,feet, or bath her. Then go back to cleaning.
I loved it! It's hard to vacuum with a hard-on.
We still do this, however it seems to be getting old. I still get turned on by her making me clean house and service/serving her, but it's becoming old. I don't want to loose the spark.
I hope you understand the problem I'm facing.
So does anyone have some new ideas that they would be willing to share?
Thanks, SlaveS

Does SHE know it feels like it's getting old? If not, I'd suggest respectfully telling her about your fear of losing the spark and ask if you could come up with some new ideas together.

If you haven't both completed a checklist recently, I'd start there, then compare them/talk about the results. That should be a good jumping off point for new activities.

As far as liking service, she might consider things like:
-Breakfast in bed, waking her up with oral or a massage
-Making her dinner, you eating what she feeds you, maybe on the floor while she sits at the table
-Doing chores while wearing a hobbler, shackles or a buttplug
-Instructing you on how to give a manicure, pedicure, massage, etc., and making you give her a spa day
-Shopping with you carrying her bags, fetching different sizes, a drink and shoulder massage while she relaxes (these are the types of things that are discreet/don't really involve the public in your play)
- Giving you lessons on pleasing her, with discipline for not doing it well enough (there's always room for improvement )

You could also extend your service beyond weekends; simple things like getting her a drink, massage/footrub, tending to her in the bath/shower, making dinner, meeting her at the door in a submissive position, etc., may give both of you a thrill and keep it fresh.

 

[SlaveS]

Sweet Erika, I don't think she thinks it's getting old.
However, after talking with her about it earlier in the day, what works for her simply works for us together.
I'm going to print your ideas and present them to her. And we'll go from there.
As I wrote before, 6 years ago we got into BDSM. Hopefully in 6 more years we will be at the level of people on this forum!
Thank you!
SlaveS

 

[SweetErika]

Sweet Erika, I don't think she thinks it's getting old.
However, after talking with her about it earlier in the day, what works for her simply works for us together.
I'm going to print your ideas and present them to her. And we'll go from there.
As I wrote before, 6 years ago we got into BDSM. Hopefully in 6 more years we will be at the level of people on this forum!
Thank you!
SlaveS

I asked about your communication and her perception because those are very important factors. Your wife may be different, but I'd be none too happy if my husband solicited ideas from others without sharing his thoughts with me first and allowing me to generate ideas on my own.

There's a glut of (mostly male) "do me" subs who mainly want someone to fulfill their fantasies out there; those who are truly interested in pleasing their Dominant, and derive most of their pleasure from doing so, are more rare. Handing me an unsolicited list of things he wants to do screams "do me sub" and/or "poor communication," and I'd no doubt put all play on hold until problems like that were fixed.

Perhaps that's just me and other select Dominants, though.

So, I'm not trying to discourage you, but rather encourage you to approach this carefully, keeping in mind that she's in charge. Doing it the wrong way could also shake her confidence and bring everything to a halt temporarily or permanently.

 

[MsVerijaa]

Repetitions

6 years and you haven't figured out how to avoid being repetitious? If you haven't had much of a problem in 6 years, I'd say you have the problem licked. Just look back at what you did 6 years ago, it should be fresh again, and you can always go for variations.

 

[Irony_Sinclair]

For FemDom guides and info it's hard to beat Akasha.

http://www.akashaweb.com/goodgirl.html

www.akashaweb.com/

 

[subwannabe]

I wish your wife could teach my wife. Erika gave great advice, as she always does. I agree, communication is the key. I'd just honestly tell her you feel it is beginning to get repetitious and you don't want to lose the spark, then you could both search for new ideas together. I don't think a contract would be of any value, since it seems to me it would be a contract of repetition - exactly what you are trying to avoid.

I can throw out some ideas I wish my wife would do to me and maybe they will give you both food for thought. I would like my wife to tease me constantly (or make me tease myself), keeping me horny at least once a day, if not more - but not being allowed to orgasm until she decided I could. I'm not talking about what time of day, I'm talking about only allowing me to orgasm either tomorrow, in three days, next week, in two weeks, three weeks, etc. But, I was to be her slave 24/7, in AND out of the bedroom. She would give me several orders every day and the better job I did following the orders, the sooner I would be allowed to cum, but it may still be next week even if I was the best slave I could be. It would be important that she would give several orders, from cleaning the kitchen, bathroom, getting her a drink, running a bath for her, giving her a mesagge, orgasm, etc. The more orders she gave the more I would know I was her slave. I would never be allowed to beg or to bring up a request to have an orgasm without a two week penalty. Only she would decide when and it would be a time or HER choosing. On top of that, I would be required to beg her every day, when horny and not, to just tease me or make me tease myself and not let me cum. Quite a paradox to be super horny and having to beg her at the same time to just tease me and not let me cum. The randomness of my orgasms would actually contribute to the whole thing not being repitious or the same ole same ole. I would also like to be introduced to a male chastity device, which in the beginning would be put on when I was tied up and only taken off when I was tied up, only to be replaced while still tied up. I read on here once a suggestion that she could keep the key to the device on a necklace, bracelet, etc on her person for me to see everyday. Just foods for thought.

 

[SlaveS]

Subwannabe, yes SweetEricka DOES give good advise!
Irony_Sinclair that site is very informative, thank you.
I love this forum!

Thank you all,
SlaveS