Calling all Poets!

[Devilish1]

I love reading poetry, but im not as talented when it comes to writing it.
Thats why im here.
I need a poem that express my anger, my pain.

Ive given 2 of the most important things to someone, my heart and trust and they just stomped all over it.

Ive found out recently hes not the man he claimed to be.

Hes lied to me repeatly for the past year.

Im looking for a good, nasty poem that expresses feelings of everything ive posted here.

I really would appreciate anyone that can help me with this.
I want him to know how much pain he caused me.

Thanks everyone!

Devilish1

 

[WickedEve]

Hello Devilish

Why don't you start out by writing down more details. Tell how he lied and how it made it you feel. Maybe write about what kind of man you thought he was, and what kind of man he really is. Give some examples of how you gave him your heart and trust.

After you write some of this down, see if you can come up with a poem that expresses it. Then post the poem, or at least more details, on this thread, and I'm sure a few poets will step forward to help you polish it.

 

[uglybob]

I'm a song writer and maybe a few of my lyrics might be what you're looking for. My website is:
www.geocities.com/bob8952
Or you can listen to a song called "The Biggest Clown" on:
www.soundclick.com/uglybob
I hope you enjoy them.
Bob Mercer

 

[Devilish1]

Originally posted by WickedEve


Tell how he lied and how it made it you feel.

He lied to me by not telling me he has a criminal record( a very BAD criminal record).
He is a thief. He not only has stolen things, hes stole my heart and trust and used them to his own advantaged.




Maybe write about what kind of man you thought he was,

I thought he was a good, loving man, funny, easy going. A man who works hard, Honest, loved his family and wanted to have a family again with me. He maded me feel like he was the victim in his marriage that he did know why wife left. Didnt smoke, didnt do drugs and barely dranked. All lies.

and what kind of man he really is.

He is a lier, a player, user, likes to control people, hes a theif, doesnt care about anyone elses feelings but his own and when the tough gets going, so does he. He runs from his problems.

Give some examples of how you gave him your heart and trust.

I fell in love with what he seemed to be. A great father to 4 beautiful children. A loving man, someone i could see my self settling down with. Someone i could feel i would have another child with someday. Someone i trusted would do no hard to me or my son.

I trusted him with my heart to never hurt it. I loved him for who he said he was. Not for what he could give me. He worked alot of hurs and i didnt care. I didnt care that he have 4 children from a previage marriage. The kids was just a bonus when i fell in love with him. I tursted him enough that i brought him around my son.

He has maded me feel stupid ( for loving him) Hurt (for trusting him) Angry because i was played for fool.

After you write some of this down, see if you can come up with a poem that expresses it. Then post the poem, or at least more details, on this thread, and I'm sure a few poets will step forward to help you polish it. [/B]

 

[WickedEve]

I can understand why you're upset. And right now you're probably all emotional, and with good reason. So if a poem will help you out...

Let's start by using some of your words, but in a different way.
Examples of possible first stanzas:

The attraction caused a criminal reaction.
You took possession of my heart.
Fooled by a lover's facade,
gift stolen by the thief beneath.

Or would you prefer:

Thief of hearts
Master of lies
My foolish love
Withers and dies

I know the second one is full of clichéd rhymes, but it may be what works for you.
Anyone out there in poetry land want to help? Please.

 

[TheDR4KE]

The other thing is to make clear the purpose of the poem. Sometimes it helps to write to yourself, but I take it from your original post that you want to send this to him. I personally think that that's more energy than he deserves from you and you'd do better to write, or work with us to write, a poem for your grief, anger, mourning and then healing.

But I'm happy to work on something else too

There are good traditions for this sort of poetry. If you only express that you have been hurt you just make him strong. I think what you would probably rather is for him to be pained by what he did, and to be weakened by it.

My strategy would be to begin by building him up, play on the things that he feels are his good attributes. The things that attracted you to him. Then talk about not only that those were lies to you, but rather that he is lying to himself and will never find happiness while he is so weak. Maybe a good satire to finish him off at the end even...

Anyway, here you go. Feel free to comment, ask for changes, etc.

Quack

the D




you were a good, a loving man
you were funny, easy going
you were an honest man
you were one who works hard
you were one who loved his family

you are none of these things
you are player liar weakling

I gave you a chance
I gave you my trust
I gave you my heart
I gave you my time

you deserved none of these things
you are drunkard smoker drughead

you know what you are
you know why she left
you know how I feel
you know what you are

you hide from the truth and the world
you are coward user thief

I was taken by your lies
I was angry
I was hurt
I was blinded

you can not hide yourself for ever
you are but a pathetic little child


may your soul wither
in the gutter
you call your life

 

[WickedEve]

OH Drake! What a crushing ending! I think what you wrote works much better than what I attempted. I like how you pointed out his supposedly good qualities, and then told it like it is.
You go, boy!

 

[Devilish1]

Originally posted by TheDR4KE




you were a good, a loving man
you were funny, easy going
you were an honest man
you were one who works hard
you were one who loved his family

you are none of these things
you are player liar weakling

I gave you a chance
I gave you my trust
I gave you my heart
I gave you my time

you deserved none of these things
you are drunkard smoker drughead

you know what you are
you know why she left
you know how I feel
you know what you are

you hide from the truth and the world
you are coward user thief

I was taken by your lies
I was angry
I was hurt
I was blinded

you can not hide yourself for ever
you are but a pathetic little child


may your soul wither
in the gutter
you call your life
[/B]

All i can say is PEFECT!
Thats excactly how im feeling!
While iwas reading this, i could feel my heart sinking. Thats excactly how he has maded me feel.

Thank you both for trying to help me here.
You dont know how much i appreciate the help.


Thanks!
Devilish

 

[christcat69]

fUCK IT, bE BLUNT

hERE'S TWO POEMS YOU CAN SEND THE BASTARD FOR ME. Emotionless Whore Fucking Liar

 

[WickedEve]

Devilish1, let us know how he responds to the poem!

 

[TheDR4KE]

OH Drake! What a crushing ending! I think what you wrote works much better than what I attempted. I like how you pointed out his supposedly good qualities, and then told it like it is.
You go, boy!

Glad you liked it. I do blessings too, but some days curses are just plain more fun

 

[TheDR4KE]

All i can say is PEFECT!
Thats excactly how im feeling!
While iwas reading this, i could feel my heart sinking. Thats excactly how he has maded me feel.

Thank you both for trying to help me here.
You dont know how much i appreciate the help.


Thanks!
Devilish

You're welcome.

I hope that it is helping you get over the boy. You're stronger than that, and there are men out there who do deserve your time/love/trust/etc. Until you meet one, take some time out for yourself and put the 'Pampering. Back later' sign on your door.

Hugs

Drake

 

[TheDR4KE]

Devilish1, let us know how he responds to the poem!

Ah yeah ... and that

the D

 

[Devilish1]

Re: fUCK IT, bE BLUNT

hERE'S TWO POEMS YOU CAN SEND THE BASTARD FOR ME. Emotionless Whore Fucking Liar

Well i like the Fucking Liar poem
But i cant use the Emotionless Whore but i know someone that can.

 

[Devilish1]

You're welcome.

I hope that it is helping you get over the boy. You're stronger than that, and there are men out there who do deserve your time/love/trust/etc. Until you meet one, take some time out for yourself and put the 'Pampering. Back later' sign on your door.

Hugs

Drake

Well im alot stronger than i even give myself credit for.
I do plan on putting the "Pampering, Be back later" sign on my door this week. Im going to wash him out of my hair.... Literally lol

I will let you know of what he does when he gets the poem. I seriously doubt he will reply to it but it doesnt matter to me, as long as he gets the point.

Thanks everyone!

 

[Guest]

I salute your courage in posting & offer this angry poem





My heart's raw
My trust's been busted
My home is haunted
And my fire burns low -

But I still know

I'd rather be
A fool like me

Than you
Sucking the dick of your sick addictions,
A hungry ghost
Prowling the outskirts of lives
You'll never have the guts to touch,
Peeping through windows
At nakedness
You'll never dare to share,
Blind to the value
Of what you're driven to steal.

I'm free of you
As you can never be
Stuck in the foul jail of your damaged self.

Did you live so long
And still not learn
Life makes a dangerous enemy?

The spirit of life is your enemy now,
The spirit that nourishes trust,
Distills slow healing in open soul,
Whispers wonder to the tender hearted,
And gently rots suffering into rich wisdom.

Life which will heal me
Will deal cruelly with you.

And then
Of course
There is death to consider.




Love and good luck to you

Floater

 

[Blue Dolphin]

I love reading poetry, but im not as talented when it comes to writing it.
Thats why im here.
not nasty
but helped me when I wrote it

Heartbroken


by Blue Dolphin ©


Heartbroken, have you been there
have you walked that lonely mile
felt the teardrops start to trickle
when your mind refuse to smile

Futile journeys in the dark
down the streets of constant pain
within each doorway see that face
through the misty pouring rain

Remembering sweet moments
from the day of passion spent
now your dreams are drowned in sadness
and the heart how ripped and rent

Sat all alone by fireside
grieving eyes with tearless flow
await in fear the coming dawn
and the pain that never go

 

[Blue Dolphin]

poem





streets of sad


by Blue Dolphin ©


Stumble down the streets of sad
let torrents wash the tears
scream his name in agony
but silent
no one hears
turgid raindrops
rushing by, tears to rip apart
a million shards of crystal, stabbing, at my heart
try to fight to
kill the pain
hopelessly resist
just another loser now
is this why I exist?

 

[Blue Dolphin]

and all are very very real
the lowest point in my life.this is the last of the three I did at this time



the end


by Blue Dolphin ©


Will someone take my heart away
and kick it please,
to death
stop this awful aching
choke the final breath
dig a hole
place it deep
stamp it in the ground
collect the acid teardrops
wash away the sound
don’t worry that its broken
shattered past repair
just hit it hard
kill it dead
like soul
now stripped
and bare

 

[Devilish1]

and all are very very real
the lowest point in my life.this is the last of the three I did at this time



the end


by Blue Dolphin ©


Will someone take my heart away
and kick it please,
to death
stop this awful aching
choke the final breath
dig a hole
place it deep
stamp it in the ground
collect the acid teardrops
wash away the sound
don’t worry that its broken
shattered past repair
just hit it hard
kill it dead
like soul
now stripped
and bare

This is excactly how i felt when i found out that he was a sorry SOB!
I went through this for about a week, and its just now starting to pass.


I have written the poem out to him that DR4KE postd and i sent it today. Ive been told that maybe i shouldnt have sent him anything but its way to let him know i know what he really is and that he hasnt won the game he was playing with me and i have strengh and i will move on without him.

I dont know if i will ever get a responce from him, and thats ok too. All that matters to me right now, he will be finding out soon that i know who he really is and im not a weakling like he is.

Still surviving

 

[TheDR4KE]

Ive been told that maybe i shouldnt have sent him anything but its way to let him know i know what he really is and that he hasnt won the game he was playing with me and i have strengh and i will move on without him.

I dont know if i will ever get a responce from him, and thats ok too. All that matters to me right now, he will be finding out soon that i know who he really is and im not a weakling like he is.

I'm really happy for you Devilish One. I can see that you're going to come through this a stronger woman who will undoubtedly be much sought after. Take this gift of having found your strong-self, and throw away the cheap plastic disposable wrapping of this guy that the gift came in, and you'll do great.

All the best,

Drake