Butcher Me!

[Sunnie]

Down yonder in my siggy there, you'll find the link to my profile which obviously has all the links to my stories so far, in it. I am up for review next week in Pure's thread, but I'm throwing one of my own out here just to see what happens. Pick a story, I don't give a damn which one, just pick one, pick them all, NITPICK if you want to....

Just give it to me straight. What kind of writer am I, really?

 

[sexyspiders]

iv just read "teacher's pet" and liked it.

mayb a few too many curses in the first two paragraphs, but it doesnt interupt the flow too much. one thing i dont understand.....

how can a guy be an english teacher one day, then suddenly he shags a student and becomes a chemistry professor???

its not a huge mistake, most people probably wouldnt notice, but its important for the story to stick to the same facts, less confusion that way!!

the last paragraph isnt necessary, if ur gonna shorten the rest of their lives into a few words you might as well say "and they lived happily ever after"

a bit more build up at the beginning would be nice, but as a short story it was fast and to the point and more importantly, believable,

thanks for a good read.

spiders >( ' . ' )<


http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=106323

 

[Sunnie]

iv just read "teacher's pet" and liked it.

mayb a few too many curses in the first two paragraphs, but it doesnt interupt the flow too much. one thing i dont understand.....

how can a guy be an english teacher one day, then suddenly he shags a student and becomes a chemistry professor???

its not a huge mistake, most people probably wouldnt notice, but its important for the story to stick to the same facts, less confusion that way!!

Thanks for reading. One thing though -- the English prof and the Chem prof are two different people.

Check out the 3rd installment of Teacher's Pet for the fate of the Chem prof...lol...

But I agree with you about the last paragraph, I got to thinking the same thing when it was first posted. It's way too "So that's all, the end." *shrug*

But thanks again, I appreciate it!

 

[sexyspiders]

oops sorry, my mistake. it is a bit confusing tho to suddenly mention a new character in ur last sentence. i kno u did it as a suspense thing for the sequel, but it isnt clear. perhaps you should have done a longer intro for the next crush or just mentioned her fetish for her professors ie. "watch this space" type thing rather than naming and shaming a guy we never even knew existed or would become a part of the story.

did any of that make sense??

please read my story linked above on my previous message and let me kno wat u think, u can be as harsh as you like!!!!

spiders >( ' . ' )<