But, is it drugs?

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Jan 13, 2015
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8 weeks ago I met a stunning woman who, in short order, became my best friend, my business partner, and the daughter I never had. Confusing, huh? Yeah me, too!
At our first brief meeting, we determined that she was in the same business I had been in several years before. She had been in only one facet of the business, while I had been in several including the commercial side which she had never been exposed to.
At a longer second meeting, we determined that our ideas of how business, and our business in particular, should be conducted were nearly in complete sync.
At our third meeting the next evening, we decided to implement our ideas together and have since worked tirelessly to make our shared vision become a reality.
Along the way, we became best friends. We could talk about everything and nothing and be happy in each other's company. We would work on our various projects together, then open a bottle of wine and just talk. Sometimes her conversation was painful for her. She was one of nine illgitimate siblings to a man who had a family of five with his wife. When she was 14, she reported her father who was having an incesteous relationship with her older sister. She left home when she was 15 and has made her way in the world with considerable professional success and equal parts personal failure.
I will admit that, despite our marked age difference, I fell in love with her. She doesn't deny our mutual attraction but we both hold things at bay least we damage our other business and personal ties.
Let me say here that she isn't conning me for my money as what I had has been poured into the business in ways which cannot benefit her directly. Only if we succeed are my contributions of any worth, and if we do succeed, neither of us will need the other's money.
A story of this magnitude would not be complete without a villain and do we have a doozy for this one. Her "boyfriend" is one of the more despicable characters I have ever met. Try the phrase "male crack whore" and you will get a mental picture that is actually more flattering than reality. In and out of jail for drugs and assorted other charges, this nearly toothless troll controls her life in ways that are unfathonable to anyone who sees them together. He is a millstone around her neck in professional and social situations. In private, he demeans her, physically abuses her and has tried several times to kill her. Despite her claims that she will resolve the problem, her stated desire to have him out of her life, and the damage he is causing between her and her teenage daughters, she keeps making excuses for him. Last Thursday night we threw him out of her house and on Friday night she allowed him back in.
I know about the "battered wife" syndrome and certainly see parallels here. But I get the feeling there is more to the situation than that. I've concluded that he is her supplier and that he has used drugs to control her from the beginning of their physical relationship. Not enough to damage her daily work performance but enough that she can't seem to be apart from him for more than 48 hours at a time.
I know I can't control someone else's actions, but there has to be something that will get past her defense of him. Last Tuesday night he strangled her into unconsciousness and she still doesn't see that he is a clear danger to her and her children.
If anyone has any comparable experiences, please convey the approach you used to break through the barriers and allow healing to begin.
 
8 weeks ago I met a stunning woman who, in short order, became my best friend, my business partner, and the daughter I never had. Confusing, huh? Yeah me, too!
At our first brief meeting, we determined that she was in the same business I had been in several years before. She had been in only one facet of the business, while I had been in several including the commercial side which she had never been exposed to.
At a longer second meeting, we determined that our ideas of how business, and our business in particular, should be conducted were nearly in complete sync.
At our third meeting the next evening, we decided to implement our ideas together and have since worked tirelessly to make our shared vision become a reality.
Along the way, we became best friends. We could talk about everything and nothing and be happy in each other's company. We would work on our various projects together, then open a bottle of wine and just talk. Sometimes her conversation was painful for her. She was one of nine illgitimate siblings to a man who had a family of five with his wife. When she was 14, she reported her father who was having an incesteous relationship with her older sister. She left home when she was 15 and has made her way in the world with considerable professional success and equal parts personal failure.
I will admit that, despite our marked age difference, I fell in love with her. She doesn't deny our mutual attraction but we both hold things at bay least we damage our other business and personal ties.
Let me say here that she isn't conning me for my money as what I had has been poured into the business in ways which cannot benefit her directly. Only if we succeed are my contributions of any worth, and if we do succeed, neither of us will need the other's money.
A story of this magnitude would not be complete without a villain and do we have a doozy for this one. Her "boyfriend" is one of the more despicable characters I have ever met. Try the phrase "male crack whore" and you will get a mental picture that is actually more flattering than reality. In and out of jail for drugs and assorted other charges, this nearly toothless troll controls her life in ways that are unfathonable to anyone who sees them together. He is a millstone around her neck in professional and social situations. In private, he demeans her, physically abuses her and has tried several times to kill her. Despite her claims that she will resolve the problem, her stated desire to have him out of her life, and the damage he is causing between her and her teenage daughters, she keeps making excuses for him. Last Thursday night we threw him out of her house and on Friday night she allowed him back in.
I know about the "battered wife" syndrome and certainly see parallels here. But I get the feeling there is more to the situation than that. I've concluded that he is her supplier and that he has used drugs to control her from the beginning of their physical relationship. Not enough to damage her daily work performance but enough that she can't seem to be apart from him for more than 48 hours at a time.
I know I can't control someone else's actions, but there has to be something that will get past her defense of him. Last Tuesday night he strangled her into unconsciousness and she still doesn't see that he is a clear danger to her and her children.
If anyone has any comparable experiences, please convey the approach you used to break through the barriers and allow healing to begin.
Eight weeks?
 
Yep! In that time we have finalized our business plan, rented space for our offices, selected people to fill the necessary slots, Incorporated our businesses, set up accounting systems, and esablished training cycles. And lots more. One accountant told us that he had never seen what we have accomplished done in less than 6 months.
 
well i would say IF you can carefully and gently confide in her your belief that he is supplying drugs that keep her trapped and in addiction bondage to him and simultaneously convince her that her use olf drugs while not ideal is not a deal breaker but that her continued association with him absolutely is, and if you can get her to admit that this is the true reason that she keeps allowing him to have any power over her then what remains is a relatively simple business decision. You can remove him by supplying the same drugs but of a higher quality than his, for no cost or lower cost to her and with no physical. sexual. or emotional fees attached. You absolutely must NOT assume his position as her owner/dealer/master or she will be more unhappy than before and her addiction and bondage will be even stronger and your temptation to take advantage of her vulnerability will be very powerful but if your love is true you will give her freedom from his abuse and then you will have some room to work on getting her addiction under control, and once she is clean and sober you can offer her a healthy relationship with you who value her enough to not hurt her. Or you can just make her your own personal bag whore.
 
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