Business Entrepreneur Mom prefers her daughters bully.

[DiamondF2017]

I had an idea for a story involving a mom and her daughters bully.

A girl has a job working for her mom at her company. She has a bright future and looks forward to one day taking the reins. Until one day her former high school bully is recruited unbeknownst to the mom. She quickly fits in with all the employees and wastes no time reacquainting herself with the weakling she used to bully. Terrorising her at every opportunity. Her feet are her favourite way to bully her. The girl does her best to ignore her thinking that one day when she takes over the company she will have her revenge. But…. This couldn’t be further from reality . Her mom is very impressed by the bully and sees her as worthy successor. The girl attempts to stop this in its tracks by telling her mom the truth, but to her shock her mom is very dismissive and claims that it was only natural that she was bullied by a popular , pretty girl.

The problem is the mom has a lot more in common with her daughter’s bully than her own daughter. They were both bullies and popular pretty girls back they were at high school. Her daughter’s bully reminds her of herself when she was her age and takes a cold hearted view to her daughter being bullied. She sees her daughter for the weakling she is and to the mom this very disappointing and frustrating as she wants her business to be led by a strong woman who can get what she wants.


This all gets worse when one day the mom walks into the canteen and witnesses the bully, making laughing stock of her daughter by making kiss her feet in front of all the employees. The mom doesn’t interject or jump to her daughter’s defence and instead sees it as validation that the bully should be her successor. The mom turns a complete blind eye to the bullying and lets it happen and continues to grow closer to her daughter’s bully completely side lining her daughter. The girl has future ripped away by her own mom and is stuck under her bully’s feet. The girl is reduced to serving her bully whilst her mom fully backs her bully.

 

[DiamondF2017]

Can’t seem to find many stories out there where the mom betrays her son/daughter in favour of their bully

 

[Reshbod]

This is a common fantasy that is brought up in Story Ideas fairly often but doesn't result in many stories. I have a couple of similar stories in my files that I've haven't submitted. One involves a newlywed couple that moves into an apartment next to her husbands old bully. They fall into their old patterns and the wife slowly sides with the bully.

The other one is more what you are talking about where a mom, who was a former cheerleader type and bully but ended up with a nerd. Her son is like his father and someone she would have bullied as a youngster. Both boys go to a local college, and he continues to bully the son. Eventually mom intervenes but finds that the bully brings out the old bully in her. Things escalate and mom under the influence of her new lover, reverts to her old ways bullying both husband and son.

It is a rather dark idea of a mom betraying her child, but if done right could make for a good story. Maybe I'll dust off my old story and see if I can get it up to snuff and post.

 

[DiamondF2017]

They both sound like really good stories!

I hope you get around to posting them.

Yeah ive seen so many ideas/stories where the mom jumps into bed with a bully but i think the problem is getting the build up right as it can be hard to do. Ive seen quite a few stories where the mom immediately joins forces with the bully but it doesnt feel right. A slower build up makes the betrayal more thrilling and interesting and sorta adds some sense of realism to it

 

[DiamondF2017]

So I’ve decided to give writing this a go. I’ve never written a story before but I figured what the heck. Worth a shot. I have made a change to the idea as I think it will improve the realism and make the dynamic between the characters more interesting.

This is the overview

What’s Best for Business (F/f)

Synopsis- A successful Business Entrepreneur named Suzanne (47) is a successful gorgeous former head cheerleader running a Clothing company. She has successfully built up the business with her business partner and high school best friend Samantha (47). Her daughter Anna (23) joined the business after leaving school aspiring to be just like her mom and one day take over the business. The problem is Anna is socially awkward and lacking in confidence. Samantha does not believe that Anna will ever be fit to run the business and believes someone else should. Suzanne defends her daughter believing that despite her flaws she will one day be capable of leading the company. But when Samantha hires Anna’s high school bully Emily (23) Anna’s dreams are thrown into turmoil and her mother is faced with doing What’s Best for Business or standing by her daughter and losing everything.

 

[Reshbod]

So I’ve decided to give writing this a go. I’ve never written a story before but I figured what the heck. Worth a shot. I have made a change to the idea as I think it will improve the realism and make the dynamic between the characters more interesting.

This is the overview

What’s Best for Business (F/f)

Synopsis- A successful Business Entrepreneur named Suzanne (47) is a successful gorgeous former head cheerleader running a Clothing company. She has successfully built up the business with her business partner and high school best friend Samantha (47). Her daughter Anna (23) joined the business after leaving school aspiring to be just like her mom and one day take over the business. The problem is Anna is socially awkward and lacking in confidence. Samantha does not believe that Anna will ever be fit to run the business and believes someone else should. Suzanne defends her daughter believing that despite her flaws she will one day be capable of leading the company. But when Samantha hires Anna’s high school bully Emily (23) Anna’s dreams are thrown into turmoil and her mother is faced with doing What’s Best for Business or standing by her daughter and losing everything.

I think that is a good idea. I often recommend in this forum that people give writing their story a shot. I finally sat down and wrote mine because I never could find any that "did" it for me. Basically I wrote what I wanted to read.

My above ideas are a good example. While they're in the genre, they're very different from the idea you wrote. And if I tried to write something from your basic scenario it would likely be drastically different from what you want to read.

If you want someone to look over what you come up with and give suggestions or just feedback, I'd be happy to volunteer.

Best of luck, and I will try to polish up my story and get it decent enough to post.

 

[DiamondF2017]

Thank you!
I should have a first part posted soon.

I have made an alteration to my original scenario. Adding a business partner/best friend to the mom. Who will ultimately play a role in the daughter’s downfall. It should make writing the realism a little better as it adds to the dynamic of the mother choosing the bully.

 

[blackstallion21]

@DiamondF2017 Please @ me when you post this... I wanna read this... I find myself hating the Mother already, and want to see how you make this unfold! Happy Writing!

 

[Reshbod]

@DiamondF2017 Please @ me when you post this... I wanna read this... I find myself hating the Mother already, and want to see how you make this unfold! Happy Writing!

I think making the mother sympathetic at first then turning her into a hated character, while tricky, would make for a great story.

 

[DiamondF2017]

I’ve uploaded part 1, just waiting for it to be published on this site.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Make it work out for the daughter. She dislikes what's been happening and decides to do something about it. She ends up improving herself and quietly begins to undermine the plan. In the end, she effectively takes over the company as she originally though she should. But more than that, she subjugates the mother and her friend.

 

[DiamondF2017]

Make it work out for the daughter. She dislikes what's been happening and decides to do something about it. She ends up improving herself and quietly begins to undermine the plan. In the end, she effectively takes over the company as she originally though she should. But more than that, she subjugates the mother and her friend.

Thanks for the suggestion but, I've taken it another way.

 

[DiamondF2017]

I’ve uploaded part 1, just waiting for it to be published on this site.

Unfortunately it’s been rejected due something wrong with the speech formatting. I’m not 100 % sure what it is as the reason I got is very vague. But it looks to be that I’ve put full stops after speech marks in some of the dialogue. As everything else lines up with the rules from what I can see.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Lit took another way too and doesn't want offsite links posted. Being rejected here doesn't alter that.

 

[Reshbod]

Unfortunately it’s been rejected due something wrong with the speech formatting. I’m not 100 % sure what it is as the reason I got is very vague. But it looks to be that I’ve put full stops after speech marks in some of the dialogue. As everything else lines up with the rules from what I can see.

Here is a link to the story uploaded on a different site. https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/themousepad/what-s-best-for-business-f-f-t194758.html

Did you take advantage of the editor forum? They can help formatting issues and the like.

 

[DiamondF2017]

I have tried but I’m getting nowhere currently. Tbh it’s very off putting. I’m a first time writer and I did not realise there were so many obstacles to over come. I could understand if I’d submitted multiple stories with the same problem but considering it’s my first one it’s rather harsh especially as it seems the issue is minor.

Nevertheless I have sorted out the grammar issue now and will resubmit but I don’t have high hopes.

 

[DarkSollat]

I have tried but I’m getting nowhere currently. Tbh it’s very off putting. I’m a first time writer and I did not realise there were so many obstacles to over come. I could understand if I’d submitted multiple stories with the same problem but considering it’s my first one it’s rather harsh especially as it seems the issue is minor.

Nevertheless I have sorted out the grammar issue now and will resubmit but I don’t have high hopes.

Tried using Grammarly to help you? Sorry I advertisise an app, but it helped me with publishing on Lit.

 

[Reshbod]

I have tried but I’m getting nowhere currently. Tbh it’s very off putting. I’m a first time writer and I did not realise there were so many obstacles to over come. I could understand if I’d submitted multiple stories with the same problem but considering it’s my first one it’s rather harsh especially as it seems the issue is minor.

Nevertheless I have sorted out the grammar issue now and will resubmit but I don’t have high hopes.

Don't let it get you down. First efforts are tough but you learn by doing. I just finished the first part of the story and do have comments. If you prefer I can PM you my thoughts or just keep them to myself. Let me know.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Daughter leaves the company. Funny thing is Mom doesn't even realize it for a while. A year of more later, the company isn't doing as well. Another new company has moved into the area and is swallowing up the client base. Mom can't figure out why and can't find any names of who is running the new place. She finds names, but they're all mid-level and newly moved into the area. Another year and the business is in serious trouble. Approached with an investment offer that is too good to pass up, she signs the deal knowing a new Boss will be installed and she'll have to answer to them.

On the first day the new boss shows up, Mom is completely shocked to see who it is.