XXplorher
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 1, 1999
- Posts
- 2,711
*Applause*
Well done, mate! I am currently certain that the ‘Stamina’ section is the most exciting scenario I’ve ever fucking read here. Perhaps that’s because I’d been killing myself with anticipation for the last 5 hours prior to getting there (most of that inspired by your other story ‘Natural Male Enhancement’, which is so incredibly good I refuse to finish it; and continued through other forms of internet stimulus), but if it isn’t the most agonizingly pleasurable sexual idea – then it IS most certainly the finest erotic game ever invented (in written form or otherwise).
I thought the build up to there was, well – decent. The rhythm was a little uneven and progress/patience was not quite on a line I could subscribe to (which does not at all mean “Hurry up and get there”. Pleasure IS in the anticipation…when it comes to writing Eros) But once Bunny got up there and spread her legs, in the unflinchingly assured way that she did (the under the blanket stuff was an excellent precursor to that, btw), pulling everyone else into place - everything that came before paid off. I knew IMMEDIATELY, that was where I’d finish off. I’d been playing that game for 5 fuckin’ hours and that would be the perfect solution for me. Furthermore, it would cram 5 hours of anticipation into a solid section of ½ a page… which is an interesting dichotomy on WHY it’s a satisfying idea, eh.
Having pulled me in to BEING “Timmy” by then… the eagerness, innocence, initial experience, and danger – coupled with the girls’ being free of concern, taboo, or self-interested manipulation (not to mention sexy as hell) pumps the veins to the spout and made THAT particular brilliant idea – all the more powerful and seductive. I could feel the sincere difference between the 2 girls (due to your smart construction of character) and that made it all the more spine-tingling to enter them each… one at a time… counting strokes… adding one more each time… the first pussy I’ve ever felt… and now I have 2 to compare together?! But I better be careful… or I’ll blow my fucking wad (in more ways than one). Fantastic idea.
Furthermore, the way that you did it, line by line – was pure excellence. My brain went whirring when you set the table for the idea, and you basically hit all the notes I would have wanted to play. Mainly, the girls taking it further than just a counted stroke by being audible and taunting him with all the things he might want to make them do later on. Brilliant.
Now, I would have taken it more strokes than you did (I actually “finished off” elsewhere, cuz I had prepped myself for more. And had invested WAY too much to let it go cheap at that point, lol). But I really did like how he felt compelled to deliver for her instead. Would have loved to hear the details of a few more strokes up to 4… but perhaps, like Timmy, you couldn’t stand it anymore either? Or let him make the decision for you? Fair enough then, mate.
I noted you want to avoid “sequels”, but perhaps you could flesh out this “game” in another story for the future? Any other Authors want to borrow and expand – I’d love to see that also (we’re all thieves). Give me what I want cuz I’m a greedy motherfucker! I need more strokes!
Lastly, I have yet to finish the story NME I mentioned above, but it may be the best I’ve ever read. I’ve cheated ahead to spell what I can look forward to and it appears to be a most carefully constructed scenario with ALL the right personalities needed to make it work to perfection. And I’m not the hit-my-ass-with-a-ruler type at all. It’s simply VERY well written and knows EXACTLY what it’s shooting for (no pun intended). Anyone reading WILL feel Timmy. And I believe that’s the best compliment you can ever give a writer, yes? I’m enjoying the experience (and one I don’t normally enjoy).
The only thing that would make it better (for me)… is if a woman wrote it. Congratulations in any case, brother (hehe)… Your efforts are worth the investment. Excellent results.
Link for those interested: Bunny's Quiet Friend
Well done, mate! I am currently certain that the ‘Stamina’ section is the most exciting scenario I’ve ever fucking read here. Perhaps that’s because I’d been killing myself with anticipation for the last 5 hours prior to getting there (most of that inspired by your other story ‘Natural Male Enhancement’, which is so incredibly good I refuse to finish it; and continued through other forms of internet stimulus), but if it isn’t the most agonizingly pleasurable sexual idea – then it IS most certainly the finest erotic game ever invented (in written form or otherwise).
I thought the build up to there was, well – decent. The rhythm was a little uneven and progress/patience was not quite on a line I could subscribe to (which does not at all mean “Hurry up and get there”. Pleasure IS in the anticipation…when it comes to writing Eros) But once Bunny got up there and spread her legs, in the unflinchingly assured way that she did (the under the blanket stuff was an excellent precursor to that, btw), pulling everyone else into place - everything that came before paid off. I knew IMMEDIATELY, that was where I’d finish off. I’d been playing that game for 5 fuckin’ hours and that would be the perfect solution for me. Furthermore, it would cram 5 hours of anticipation into a solid section of ½ a page… which is an interesting dichotomy on WHY it’s a satisfying idea, eh.
Having pulled me in to BEING “Timmy” by then… the eagerness, innocence, initial experience, and danger – coupled with the girls’ being free of concern, taboo, or self-interested manipulation (not to mention sexy as hell) pumps the veins to the spout and made THAT particular brilliant idea – all the more powerful and seductive. I could feel the sincere difference between the 2 girls (due to your smart construction of character) and that made it all the more spine-tingling to enter them each… one at a time… counting strokes… adding one more each time… the first pussy I’ve ever felt… and now I have 2 to compare together?! But I better be careful… or I’ll blow my fucking wad (in more ways than one). Fantastic idea.
Furthermore, the way that you did it, line by line – was pure excellence. My brain went whirring when you set the table for the idea, and you basically hit all the notes I would have wanted to play. Mainly, the girls taking it further than just a counted stroke by being audible and taunting him with all the things he might want to make them do later on. Brilliant.
Now, I would have taken it more strokes than you did (I actually “finished off” elsewhere, cuz I had prepped myself for more. And had invested WAY too much to let it go cheap at that point, lol). But I really did like how he felt compelled to deliver for her instead. Would have loved to hear the details of a few more strokes up to 4… but perhaps, like Timmy, you couldn’t stand it anymore either? Or let him make the decision for you? Fair enough then, mate.
I noted you want to avoid “sequels”, but perhaps you could flesh out this “game” in another story for the future? Any other Authors want to borrow and expand – I’d love to see that also (we’re all thieves). Give me what I want cuz I’m a greedy motherfucker! I need more strokes!
Lastly, I have yet to finish the story NME I mentioned above, but it may be the best I’ve ever read. I’ve cheated ahead to spell what I can look forward to and it appears to be a most carefully constructed scenario with ALL the right personalities needed to make it work to perfection. And I’m not the hit-my-ass-with-a-ruler type at all. It’s simply VERY well written and knows EXACTLY what it’s shooting for (no pun intended). Anyone reading WILL feel Timmy. And I believe that’s the best compliment you can ever give a writer, yes? I’m enjoying the experience (and one I don’t normally enjoy).
The only thing that would make it better (for me)… is if a woman wrote it. Congratulations in any case, brother (hehe)… Your efforts are worth the investment. Excellent results.
Link for those interested: Bunny's Quiet Friend
