Budding BDSM relationship...

[LilithDeCamp]

I published the prologue to a much longer story I hadn't written yet about a year ago. It takes place closer to the middle of the story than the beginning. So, now, with chapter 1, I'm going back to how it began.
I'm trying to imbue this with as much realism as possible, and the main relationship will end up being a live-in 24/7 bdsm relationship.
I know it's realistic to have very little "sex" in the formation period of a Dom/sub relationship, but I don't want people to get bored with the series before I get it into full swing.
My basic premise is a young widow meeting the man who will become her Master. She is not inexperienced in the lifestyle and has already had basic training. The two meet at a party held by mutual friends and begin to see each other.
I don't want to gloss over the beginning of the relationship because I feel it's really important to show a healthy relationship built on trust and mutual want. These are two "normal" people and I want the whole thing to feel natural.
Any ideas how to keep it mundane, yet very erotic?

 

[sr71plt]

Have something erotic happen to someone other than your main characters.

 

[LeandraNyx]

Deleted

 

[AwkwardMD]

The last, desperate throes of your protagonists previous relationship. Breakup sex can be the best sex of an entire relationship.

 

[LeandraNyx]

Deleted

 

[SimonDoom]

I suggest playing up D/s and fetishistic elements of their interactions that are not "sex" but are erotic, nonetheless. These will keep readers of this genre interested while you take your time leading your characters to sex itself.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

False starts. Once it's obvious that the girl is submitting or at least toying with the idea, the male can advance sexual play but then stop before it gets far. Caresses and kisses can do a lot. Then comes the "Oh no, not yet, my sweet."

If you want to play cliche to the hilt, they can be about to consummate when they find some terrible incompatibility or other reason to break it off. Of course they can't stand to be apart, but interrupting what was about to be the hot sex scene hooks readers.

If the characters are interesting you don't need immediate sex to hook them. Readers, at least the kind I like, will be willing to wait for sex as long as they know it's inevitable. And who cares about pleasing any other kind of readers?

I think that's the big lesson I learned here. Unless you're trying to publish for profit, readership numbers don't matter. I've been here a few years and have less than 1400 followers - probably a tiny number compared to most. I don't care because the comments and emails are positive. There are some very creepy people on this site that I would not want as fans. So write what you like and the people you'd like will come to you. The rest never matter.

 

[visioneer]

Take your time to develop the characters and the erotic tension. Serious readers will connect and stick around for the fireworks.

Your couple can engage in D/s without touching or getting physically intimate. It could be as simple as him not inviting her to sit when they talk. Or it could be a little game she is playing--displaying subtle submissive tells--to get the feel of submitting to him without taking off her clothes. How does he respond?

And it could work both ways, with him exercising quiet control over her. How does she respond?

You can show these little dramas playing out in their heads.