Broken (closed)

[wideeyedone]

The cold morning air burned in her lungs as Jamie ran. It was cold and drizzling and her breath looked like steam in the December chill. But she didn't care. She couldn't spend one more moment cooped up in their little wood framed house. She and Dan had used his reenlistment bonus as the down payment. And as they scraped paint, and pulled up linoleum they spun dreams about their future. She had been raised by her grandmother who died when Jamie was a freshman in college. Dan was estranged from his family. So, their dreams were all about family and home and a life of belonging.

But that all ended. It was over. It ended when the Notification Officers pulled up outside their house. She knew. She didn't speak when they told her that Dan had died when an IED exploded on a deserted road half way across the world. She swiped away her silent tears and nodded. She sat on the couch and held herself together until the men in their class A uniforms were gone.

That had been almost a week ago. His body would be home tomorrow. The funeral would be the day after that.

So, she was running before dawn. She ran until her legs felt like jelly. She had to stop. She bent over and rested with her hand on her waist.

She had to walk back to the house. She didn't realize she had been crying until the tears dripped down her cheeks and onto her shirt.

She wanted to stop crying. She wanted to stop hurting but she couldn't imagine a time when she would be whole again. She was broken

 

[justabrick]

Even with his muscular, military frame, each step hurt, causing shooting pain up his right leg, and the ghost of his left leg. Still, Ben was more motivated than he'd ever felt. He had to make it to Dan's funeral, and couldn't wait to get out of the hellhole they called rehab.

Not only did each step hurt, but every thought hurt- echoes of the moment the roadside bomb went off echoed in Ben's mind, keeping him up at night. That was the moment he lost not only his arm and leg, but his best friend. Ben and Dan had grown up together, playing as soldiers in Dan's big back yard since Ben could remember. Then, barely out of college, they'd joined together to live the real thing. That all lasted up until a week ago.

As he reached the end of the therapeutic bar supporting his walk, his mind turned to Jaime. If anyone had been closer to Dan, it was her, and he couldn't begin to imagine her pain. Reaching the end of the bar, he collapsed in a chair, and drew his one muscular arm down his face, wiping away sweat and tears, feeling broken.

 

[wideeyedone]

Jamie laid in bed staring at the ceiling. Some of the other wives from Dan's unit were bustling around downstairs, getting the place ready for visitors. Jamie just couldn't. She couldn't watch their worried faces and the tinge of relief that they each wore that it wasn't their husband that was killed.

She didn't blame them, she just didn't want to talk to them anymore, she didn't want to be hugged and whispered to. She wanted to scream. She wanted to beat the hell out of something.

She got up and got one of Dan's shirts out of the closet. She breathed in his smell. She wrapped herself in the soft fabric, the shirt was huge on her, but it gave her some comfort.

She closed her eyes and after a while, she was finally able to sleep.

******

They were in a bar, it was a few nights before they deployed. It was a party, a celebration of life. Dan's kiss tasted like whiskey and hands held her small frame as they danced. The music was loud, even though it was a country bar she could feel the bass through the floor boards.

She laid her head on his shoulder.

"Come home.....I need you. I love you." She had whispered.

He laughed and told her that he would always come home to her. And they finished their dance, and Colonel Parker bought another round. She had a Southern Comfort and Coke.

She danced with Colonel Parker and a few of the other guys, the other wives always loved to two step with Dan.

*******

She woke up to Commander Parker's wife gently shaking her shoulder.

"I am sorry, Jamie. It's time to get dressed. We need to go meet the plane." Amy Parker was old enough to be Jamie's mom and she was going to make sure that Jamie was taken care of. She helped Jamie find an appropriate outfit to wear. Jamie slipped into a simple navy blue dress. She tied her hair back in a ponytail and decided not to put on any make up.

She grabbed her sunglasses and let Amy lead her down to the car the army had sent. They had to be there when the plane bringing Dan home landed.