Britain's most stupid laws

R. Richard

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"In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store." Ridiculous of course, now if they would just extend the exception to a clerk in a bird shop, I think I could go along with it. Comment?

Die and you're under arrest! Britain's most stupid laws

LONDON (AFP) - Queen Elizabeth II's speech in the British parliament Tuesday may have been routine but at least nobody got bored to death. That would have been against the law.

Dying in parliament is an offence and is also by far the most absurd law in Britain, according to a survey of nearly 4,000 people by a television channel showing a legal drama series.

And though the lords were clad in their red and white ermine cloaks and ambassadors from around the world wore colourful national costumes, at least nobody turned up in a suit of armour. Illegal.

Other rules deemed utterly stupid included one that permits a pregnant woman to urinate in a policeman's hat and murdering bow-and-arrow-carrying Scotsmen within the city walls of York, northern England.

A law stating that in Liverpool, only a clerk in a tropical fish store is allowed to be publicly topless, was also ridiculous, said a poll of 3,931 people for UKTV Gold television out Tuesday.

Nearly half of those surveyed admitted to breaking the ban on eating mince pies on Christmas Day, which dates back to the 17th century and was originally designed to outlaw gluttony during the rule of the Puritan Oliver Crowmell.

The laws and other regulations were culled from published research into ancient legislation that has never been repealed although subsequent statutes have rendered them obsolete.

Respondents were given a shortlist and asked to vote.

Most ridiculous British law:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (seven percent)

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (six percent)

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (five percent)

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (four percent)

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (four percent)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (3.5 percent)

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (three percent)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (three percent)

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (two percent)
 
R. Richard said:
1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)
2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (seven percent)
3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (six percent)
4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (five percent)
5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (four percent)
6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (four percent)
7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (3.5 percent)
8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (three percent)
9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (three percent)
10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (two percent)
1) Yet most Members seem dead most of the time
2) How would one know?
3) Fish don't write many letters
4) No room after the turkey and pudding
5) When did the Scots get doors?
6) It's hard to believe she'd know where to aim
7) Why would the King want the tail of the Queen?
8) Can't tax men read?
9) without Brasso
10) Get your Bow and Arrow here, Jimmy.
 
Don't forget that in Hereford(? or one of the other marches) it is legal to shoot a Welshman using a longbow and arrow.
 
neonlyte said:
7) Why would the King want the tail of the Queen?

Neon, I would strongly suggest that you re-read and edit your response.
 
R. RichardDying in parliament is an offence and is also by far the most absurd law in Britain said:
I suspect that this one may actually have had some reasoning behind it. It may have been that the Parliament voted themselves some sort of monetary death benefit if they died on the job. I presume that, in England, a person may not receive monetary benefit for something done ilegally. Thus, the law against dying in Parliament may have been a backdoor attempt to prevent the members of Parliament from collecting a death benefit.

Then again, as has been pointed out, it may have been to avoid the lengthy investigation to determine if a member of Parliament is actually dead, or just in the normal state of inactivity.
 
And London cabs have to, by law, carry a bale of hay for the horse...
x
V
 
egelante said:
Don't forget that in Hereford(? or one of the other marches) it is legal to shoot a Welshman using a longbow and arrow.

I presume that the use of a shortbow would be considered disrespect and therefore illegal.
 
R. Richard said:
3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store
I wonder if there's a bunch of strip joints in Liverpool where they also have one guppy for sale.
 
Addendum to no10 - It has to be on the common and on a Sunday.

The common is now Tesco carpark.
 
Just-Legal said:
Addendum to no10 - It has to be on the common and on a Sunday.

The common is now Tesco carpark.

What you are saying then is, if you are Scottish and if you are in the Tesco carpark in York and it is a Sunday, don't get into an argument over a parking space?
 
R. Richard said:
What you are saying then is, if you are Scottish and if you are in the Tesco carpark in York and it is a Sunday, don't get into an argument over a parking space?

If both of you are in posession of said bow and arrows? Yes.
 
Local Bye-Laws

In my town it is illegal:

1. To swim not wearing a "University Costume" which has legs and arms at least three inches long with a skirt for women. The Urban District Council (now defunct) hires University Costumes at a price of sixpence (2.5 pence) a day.

2. To launch any kind of craft within a thousand yards of the Pier without the permission of the Pier Master (now the City Architect).

3. Mixed bathing is only allowed before 7am. After that time the men must keep to the men's beach and the women to the women's beach and children over the age of 7 must be with a parent of the same sex.

4. Cycling is forbidden on the promenade, through the park, and anywhere on Sundays. Despite this Bye-Law the council are proposing cycle routes along the promenade and through the park.

5. It is illegal to remove stones from the beach -still current and enforced because the shingle is an essential part of our sea defences.

6. It is illegal to trade on the seaward side of the sea front road. However the council sell concessions that breach their own bye-law.

7. It is illegal to erect any structure or building on the foreshore between high and low water marks without the permission of the landowner. Half the foreshore is owned by the Crown; the other half by the Church of England. So no sandcastles please. Where's your building permit?

8. The Abbot of the nearby Abbey has the right to one tenth of all fish and sea creatures that are landed on the beach. Unfortunately the Abbey slumped into the sea in the fifteenth century but the successor of the Abbot could still claim his tenth. "That's one tenth of that crab, sonny."

9. It is illegal to discharge a gun or any ordnance except when aimed out to sea.

10. Anyone finding a Frenchman within the town's boundaries must arrest him at once and take him before the Town Sergeant for interrogation as a potential Napoleonic spy. Oops! What happened to our twinning association?

11. Landing anyone or anything, even beyond the 1000 yard range of the Piermaster's Control, must be reported to the Officer-in-Charge of the Customs Office that was demolished in 1856. The local smugglers didn't agree. In a famous incident, the Midshipman Officer-in-Charge was shot dead outside the local pub in the early 19th century. The locals still claim that he was in the way of the rush at opening time and it was an accident. "Not me Guv!". No one has yet been arrested for the death because the dozens of people present "didn't see anything". Plus ça change!

Og
 
oggbashan said:
In my town it is illegal:

5. It is illegal to remove stones from the beach -still current and enforced because the shingle is an essential part of our sea defences.

Og

This shows why a lot of seemingly insane laws are really quite reasonable.

In the USA midwest, there are still laws in place that require farmers to plant trees on the windward side of their fields. The younger farmers thought the requirement was kind of stupid, until they noted that the guys who had trees planted at the windward side of their fields didn't have the dust storms that plagued the treeless areas.
 
Across the pond . . . .

In Texas, I am entitled, since I am a resident, to:

One acre of land;

A mule;

And a rifle.

I ain't seen none o' that yet . . . .
 
slyc_willie said:
Across the pond . . . .

In Texas, I am entitled, since I am a resident, to:

One acre of land;

A mule;

And a rifle.

I ain't seen none o' that yet . . . .
i agree with your understanding.
 
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