bring me back

[the captians wench]

I really feel for you that happened, Wenchie...

please don't take what I am about to type as an indictment of you, because that is not the intent at all....

I do think that the incident shows the need to talk about aftercare as part of the negotiations for a scene. Even with that, not every scene will require the same type of aftercare, but the Top needs to have an idea of what will be required of him afterwards, and if he is not willing to do that... well...

One thing with rose is that she usually requires a good amount of loving aftercare afterwards, which is usually some of our best bonding time. The thing is she can come out of nearly identical scenes differently from one time to the next. Sometimes, she can seem like she is coming out of it well, only to descend into a well of tears for no apparent reason. Its not my place to wonder why, but to be there to support and guide her as she comes back from that headspace. During that time the only reality to her is my voice, my touch, my presence... so I continually reassure her and make her feel loved and guided...

We had discussed aftercare, before this happened the first time and again after that first time....which after it happened the first time I should have said that's it then, but you know what they say about hindsight. Besides, the fact that he promised me that I would never be left like that again sort of gave me an out when it did happen. I shouldn't have been involved with this person from day one, but I got involved, and I got my head in deep, and I thought I loved it, and I guess some of it I did. I loved our sessions, what I didn't love was things that were going on outside of the sessions.

For a few days after this, I just kept asking myself, why did I do some of the things that I did. The answer is simple, I was afraid that if I didn't do them then I wouldn't get any more sessions from him. But leading up to this day, I was getting a lot less pain play anyway, that's another thing that made this easier for me to say okay you know what, I'm not getting what I want or need anymore you can go now.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

We had discussed aftercare, before this happened the first time and again after that first time....which after it happened the first time I should have said that's it then, but you know what they say about hindsight. Besides, the fact that he promised me that I would never be left like that again sort of gave me an out when it did happen. I shouldn't have been involved with this person from day one, but I got involved, and I got my head in deep, and I thought I loved it, and I guess some of it I did. I loved our sessions, what I didn't love was things that were going on outside of the sessions.

For a few days after this, I just kept asking myself, why did I do some of the things that I did. The answer is simple, I was afraid that if I didn't do them then I wouldn't get any more sessions from him. But leading up to this day, I was getting a lot less pain play anyway, that's another thing that made this easier for me to say okay you know what, I'm not getting what I want or need anymore you can go now.

wenchie, i'm sorry this happened to you but i'm glad that you had the courage and wisdom to end it when you did because much worse could have happened had it continued on...... ***Hugs***

 

[the captians wench]

I just saw this because MP posted and my time here has been sporadic.

FWIW Wenchie I am also really sorry this has happened to you. I was considering some casual play a while ago when Master and I weren't able to see each other very often. Nothing penetrative but just a little fooling around. It never happened because Master would never have allowed it. I just had the offer and thought about it for a while.

Now I'm really glad because I just find it impossible to play without emotional involvement. I also need a lot of trust because I'm epileptic and if anything were to happen on that score I'd be totally helpless for a while. I also exprience subspace but can't imagine sharing that with anyone but my Master. I'm sure I'd freak out if someone just left me like that. I've wept all over him before now and he's never rushed me about coming back up after a scene.

When I first started posting here you were with Jounar and having sessions with other people and I admired the part of you that could separate BDSM with the bond you have with your owner. I think you reacted in the best and healthiest way you could. You have an enviable relationship with your Mom and I'm glad you had real people there to talk things out with. Nobody but Master and a friend I have in Tokyo (aka onyxvixen) knows about our lifestyle.

I hope that you are feeling better about everything now and that you've assessed your play partners list carefully. Like Catalina and others I'd hate to hear that anything had happened to you.

Like I said before, I'm kinda glad in a way that this happened, because it gave me a bit of a wake up call and made it a lot easier for me to decide that I had enough of his shit.

He felt me pulling away from him, and I was in all honesty, he wanted me to be his completely but not put the time into me, and I was not willing to leave Jounar for a full time part time relationship. But since he felt me pull away he thought that he would do this to prove something to me. The only thing that he proved to me was that he's an ass and that I deserve better.

I do have a lot of people here to look out for me, and take care of me. And they do take very good care of me. The ones who do take good care of me, Jounar aproves of whole heartedly and loves to see me play with them and be happy, ones like this guy he's glad to see go.

And my mom is total awsomeness! I love her so much. She doesn't understand why I do some of what I do, but she's always suportive of me.

 

[the captians wench]

wenchie, i'm sorry this happened to you but i'm glad that you had the courage and wisdom to end it when you did because much worse could have happened had it continued on...... ***Hugs***

I chalk it up to a learning experience....next time my mom says some one looks/sounds like bad news, I'll change my email and phone number that day.