Brenda's Erotic ******

[gerardo]

If you haven't read Brenda's Erotic by Shale in the Illustrated Stories section you're in for a treat.
It's a steamy story which includes an interracial aspect and a religious taboo, with juicy lustful sex, all topped off with excellent, hot illustrations. The illustration of cunnilingus is a work of art all on it's on.
Also, I like the black woman/white male match up. I love the idea and just don't see enough of it in erotica.
I definately recommend this story.

 

[MaxSebastian]

Probably helps to include a link:

Brenda's Erotica




As for my opinion, I think it's a difficult thing writing and providing pictures. This guy can clearly draw much better than I could ever hope to do, but the illustrations veer a little over towards the sex manual, demonstrating the positions but not quite hitting the spot in terms of the erotic atmosphere.

And the trouble with the story is that it doesn't seem too well-developed. Like it's been written to go with the pictures, but not too well thought out. The coming together of the characters seemed artificial and awkward, like a cheap porn film, with neither "taboo" - religious or race - being explored at all.

Then the trouble was that there were so many illustrations compared to the amount of text, that the story seemed almost to turn into picture captions - completely spoiling the flow for the reader's eye.

And having those pictures there, I felt the writer felt he could somehow ease off on the actual writing part. A picture might be worth a thousand words, but not in this case.


But just my opinion,

Max

 

[gerardo]

Bad Form

Come on now Max, you're being way too negative. We're all amatuers on here - find something positive to say. That's the spirit of the thing, in my opinion.

Good Call on providing the link though. Someone else pointed that out to me too.

Someone else check this out, and see what you think:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=123186

 

[hiddenself]

Re: Bad Form

Come on now Max, you're being way too negative. We're all amatuers on here - find something positive to say. That's the spirit of the thing, in my opinion.

Not in mine.
What's the point of a critique if you don't tell it as you see it? You are confusing review and infomercial.

 

[MaxSebastian]

Re: Re: Bad Form

Not in mine.
What's the point of a critique if you don't tell it as you see it? You are confusing review and infomercial.

Here, here.

 

[gerardo]

consider

Hey guys, if we were paid reviewers of for-profit creative work I'd agree with you 100 per cent. ..200 per cent. But we're not !
I would think of this more as a writer's workship. If you must, be critical in a constructive way, but point out the positives too.
This is justa fun way to explore sexual fantasy anonymously, an expression of our alter-egos so to speak.
I don't think it should taken as "serious" literature. That's why I'll always keep my comments positive when commenting on the stories.

 

[dreaming_lilith]

The pictures are good in my opinion; good drawings. But I only found the first one to be sexy. But then again, I'm more turned on by words than pictures...

 

[gerardo]

Words

Word are powerful aren't they dreaming lilith ? A simple well crafted sentence can turn me on like an erotic lap dance.

 

[gauchecritic]

Not sure that asking for critique on someone else's work is a good idea, so I'll refrain.

Gauche

It was all negative anyway both writing and art.