Breaking up, Such sweet sorrow. Doesn't have to be

[Bobtoad777]

Thought this was a funny way of making sure your not on the short end of the breakup stick

One More Minute

Well, I heard that you're leavin',
Gonna leave me far behind,
'Cause you found a brand new lover,
You decided that I'm not your kind,

So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex,
And I tore all your pictures in two,
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go,
Just because it reminds me of you.

That's right, you ain't gonna see me cryin'.
I'm glad that you found somebody new,
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass,
Than spend one more minute with you.

I guess I might seem kinda bitter.
You got me feelin' down in the dumps.
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the Gas Station of Love,
And I have to use the self-service pumps!

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase.
You ain't gonna break my heart in two.
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face,
Than spend one more minute with you.

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork,
Than watch you going out with other men.
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door,
Again and again and again and again and again.

Aw, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, darlin'.

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches,
Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two.
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue,
Than spend one more minute with you.

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks,
Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue.
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades,
Than spend one more minute with you.

I'd rather rip my heart right out of my rib cage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die...
Than spend one more minute with you.

 

[Bobtoad777]

Another route to take as well.

I'm So Sick Of You

You tell a joke and forget the punchline
Why you always wastin' my time?
Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me
Your hair's a mess and your make-up's crusty
I don't know too many females
Who make a habit of biting their toenails
Wo, every time you call, you drive me up the wall
Honey, just the sight of you makes my flesh crawl
I'm sure we'd be happy together
If only one little thing weren't true

Oh baby, I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you

You drink the milk right from the carton
What are you, in kindergarten?
You're belchin' everywhere, foulin' up the air
Then you use my razor to shave your back hair
You don't have an ounce of class
You're just one big pain in the neck
How much more can I take now, give me a break now
You even snore when you're wide awake now
You tell all your friends we're the perfect couple
Well, maybe you should get a clue

'Cause baby, I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you
Baby, you're so nauseatin'
I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you

And when you softly call my name
It's like I'm listenin' to a squeaky chalk sound
And when you look at me that special way
It's hard for me to keep my lunch down
And when you ask me what I'm thinkin' honey, usually I'm thinkin'
how I'd really like to tie your head completely up in duct tape
so I wouldn't have to listen to you asking me those stupid questions
over and over again

Well, that disgusting noise you make when you laugh
Gives me a throbbing migraine
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you)
Until you came along I never dated anyone
this low on the food chain
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you)
You've got inhuman body odor
You've got the hair of a boxing promoter
Yeah, your teeth are all yellow, your butt's made of Jell-O
You wake up in a puddle, droolin' on your pillow
I hate the way you crack your knuckles
I hate your whiny loser girlfriends too

But mostly I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you
Really now, you're aggravatin'
I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you
Not to mention irritatin'
I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you
Well, now won't you give my best regards to Satan
I yi yi yi yi
I'm so sick of you

I'm so sick of you
I'm so sick of you
I'm so sick of you
You make me sick

 

[Stormystarr]

are you mad at someone Bob?

 

[Bobtoad777]

You Make Me

You make me wanna slam my head against the wall.
You make me do the limbo.
You make me wanna buy a slurpee at the mall.
You make me watch the Gong Show.
There's really something kinda strange about you, baby,
but I can't exactly seem to put my finger on it.

You make me,
You make me,
You make me.
That's what you do to me.

You make me wanna hide a weasel in my shorts.
You make me wanna phone home.
You make me wanna write a dozen book reports,
Then pack myself in styrofoam.
Sometimes you make me want to build a model of the
Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles.

You make me,
You make me,
You make me.
That's what you do to me.

That's what you do,
That's what you do.
That's what you do to me.

You make me wanna hang out in a trailer park,
Then take my hamster to the beach.
You make me wanna do my laundry in the dark,
And use a recommended bleach.
When I'm with you, I don't know whether I should study neurosurgery
or go to see the Care Bears movie.

You make me,
You make me,
You make me.
That's what you do to me.
That's what you do,
That's what you do.
That's what you do to me.
That's what you do to me,
That's what you do to me.
That's what you do to me.

You make me wanna break the laws of time and space.
You make me wanna eat pork.
You make me wanna staple bagels to my face,
Then remove 'em with a pitchfork.
You know there's something quite unusual about you,
but I can't exactly seem to put my finger on it.

 

[Bobtoad777]

no Madness here Stormy, just good healthy emothions.

 

[Stormystarr]

Or do you just feel like singing?

 

[Bobtoad777]

yup just a song in my souls that needs to be sung, I have a thread over there with happy song if you like

 

[forgetunome]

Singing or Howling?

Don't quit the day job!

 

[Stormystarr]

believe me, I need some kind of happiness right now. But my happy song is by The Doors and is called Whisky Bar...I love that song.

 

[Bobtoad777]

Re: Singing or Howling?

Don't quit the day job!

day job? you mean I have to have one of those too?

 

[forgetunome]

Well...it does help put food on the table and keep you too busy to sing! LOL!