Brand new writer looking for feedback and constructive criticism.

[Cuckfantasy446]

Hey I'm brand new to this site (new member, frequent reader) and to writing. I wrote a story, kind of an introduction, based on certain fantasies I have. Honestly it's the first thing I've ever written and I'm not sure how bad or good it may be. Its has to do with casual nudity/enf/ and cuckold undertones. Any feedback or help would be greatly appreciated. I don't have a link to it since it's really a rough draft and don't think it should be posted yet.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

Hey I'm brand new to this site (new member, frequent reader) and to writing. I wrote a story, kind of an introduction, based on certain fantasies I have. Honestly it's the first thing I've ever written and I'm not sure how bad or good it may be. Its has to do with casual nudity/enf/ and cuckold undertones. Any feedback or help would be greatly appreciated. I don't have a link to it since it's really a rough draft and don't think it should be posted yet.

I like the genre, would be happy to read and give feedback. Cheers.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

I have three stories here, check one out to see if you want my feedback. Lol. So far they’re getting good marks!

 

[Lifestyle66]

Hey I'm brand new to this site (new member, frequent reader) and to writing. I wrote a story, kind of an introduction, based on certain fantasies I have. Honestly it's the first thing I've ever written and I'm not sure how bad or good it may be. Its has to do with casual nudity/enf/ and cuckold undertones. Any feedback or help would be greatly appreciated. I don't have a link to it since it's really a rough draft and don't think it should be posted yet.

If you haven't yet published the story, you're looking for beta readers or editors to assist. In that case, you'll need to contact editors via the site's "Editor" list of volunteers, and send willing people the story via an e-mail.

You can do that by clicking on our user profile name and "Start Conversation" t coordinate an e-mail exchange for the feedback.

If you trust my judgement, I'd be willing to assist you (I'm not a writer, but have posted 16 stories over the last year, learning some from my mistakes.) Also, when contacting someone like this, it's a good idea to let us know how long the story is (word count), so we know the level of effort.

 

[gunhilltrain]

If you haven't yet published the story, you're looking for beta readers or editors to assist. In that case, you'll need to contact editors via the site's "Editor" list of volunteers, and send willing people the story via an e-mail.

You can do that by clicking on our user profile name and "Start Conversation" t coordinate an e-mail exchange for the feedback.

If you trust my judgement, I'd be willing to assist you (I'm not a writer, but have posted 16 stories over the last year, learning some from my mistakes.) Also, when contacting someone like this, it's a good idea to let us know how long the story is (word count), so we know the level of effort.

If I may digress: if you have posted sixteen stories in the past year, then you are a writer. It's not like you have to pass a licensing exam. And we've all made mistakes, and none of us are getting paid (at least by Lit).

 

[NewOldGuy77]

If you need a beta reader, I'll be happy to volunteer. 48 stories, most of them rated 4+.

Two things to remember:

1.) Writing is like umpiring. Even if you make a mistake, it's still right.

2.) Some of the Anon commenters are trolls who have never written anything, but will trash your work for the fun of it. They are to be ignored.

 

[Lifestyle66]

If I may digress: if you have posted sixteen stories in the past year, then you are a writer. It's not like you have to pass a licensing exam. And we've all made mistakes, and none of us are getting paid (at least by Lit).

Thanks for the positive view of my efforts. But as almost all my stories are written in first-person, I've only recently branched out a little into third person writing. So, when it comes to offering my judgement in a review, I should be honest in recognizing my own shortcoming of lacking any structured education in "how to write".

As another editor pointed out last year, my stories lack "color", and even now I can still see that in my writings.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Thanks for the positive view of my efforts. But as almost all my stories are written in first-person, I've only recently branched out a little into third person writing. So, when it comes to offering my judgement in a review, I should be honest in recognizing my own shortcoming of lacking any structured education in "how to write".

As another editor pointed out last year, my stories lack "color", and even now I can still see that in my writings.

You're already on the right track. Most of us get better as we write more. Few people are so "gifted" that they are born knowing how to do some challenging task (even plumbing). It's the effort they put into it and the amount of practice they get doing that work.

P.S.: I'm a bit skeptical of various creative writing programs - not that I could afford one anyway. One can probably learn a lot by publishing things online and seeing what reaction one gets. Some people do feel comfortable with an editor or beta reader, and that's fine too.

 

[Cobaltofdark]

I'll read it dm if you want someone to look ot over.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Thanks for the positive view of my efforts. But as almost all my stories are written in first-person, I've only recently branched out a little into third person writing. So, when it comes to offering my judgement in a review, I should be honest in recognizing my own shortcoming of lacking any structured education in "how to write".

As another editor pointed out last year, my stories lack "color", and even now I can still see that in my writings.

I know you weren't the OP, but I was looking through your Lifestyle series, and you seem to be on to something. May I ask a couple of questions?

That town - the one with the coal mines - is that really your hometown or is it completely fictional? Do you feel comfortable using your real hometown in a story or not? Updike felt constrained and changed his real hometown of Reading, PA to Brewer even though it's obvious what it really is. I think he did it to open up a fictional space, not that he'd be worried about what anybody there thought of him. The geography of the place is virtually identical. As for myself, I'll set a story two blocks from my present home and think nothing of it.

For fictional college experiences, I use my real college, although it's been forty-five years since I graduated and I don't care about anybody from there either. The advantage is that I remember the layout of the whole place as it was then - there are even old photos of it online if I feel the need to check something.

 

[Lifestyle66]

That town - the one with the coal mines - is that really your hometown or is it completely fictional? Do you feel comfortable using your real hometown in a story or not? Updike felt constrained and changed his real hometown of Reading, PA to Brewer even though it's obvious what it really is. I think he did it to open up a fictional space, not that he'd be worried about what anybody there thought of him. The geography of the place is virtually identical. As for myself, I'll set a story two blocks from my present home and think nothing of it.

For fictional college experiences, I use my real college, although it's been forty-five years since I graduated and I don't care about anybody from there either. The advantage is that I remember the layout of the whole place as it was then - there are even old photos of it online if I feel the need to check something.

An editor reviewed one of my first published stories and made a recommended change. I replied, "That would be out of character for her." His response was "I don't know that because you haven't built the characters.

So, I wrote those first three chapters based on my hometown, and early life experiences. Climbing the antenna tower during the snowstorm and small coal mining communities throughout the farming township were all very real to me. I found it easier to start writing by envisioning places I knew to keep descriptions consistent.

I don't name the town, but I do base all of my descriptions on places I know.

 

[gunhilltrain]

An editor reviewed one of my first published stories and made a recommended change. I replied, "That would be out of character for her." His response was "I don't know that because you haven't built the characters.

So, I wrote those first three chapters based on my hometown, and early life experiences. Climbing the antenna tower during the snowstorm and small coal mining communities throughout the farming township were all very real to me. I found it easier to start writing by envisioning places I knew to keep descriptions consistent.

I don't name the town, but I do base all of my descriptions on places I know.

What that editor said doesn't seem to be very helpful. It sort of depends on how much you two agreed about how far into the content she should go. I've never had an editor, but I do get comments and once in a while I've asked for feedback on the forum. I guess this was one of the volunteer editors from Lit?

"Building a character" can go in a lot of different ways. One option is to go light on an "info dump" about their pasts and then in a story and especially a series more can be revealed. In a series of course you have space to add more details. In my On The Job entry, I decided not to even use their last names, and thus their ethnic identities (a somewhat big deal in New Jersey) remain unknown.

If you want to use your hometown again, you have the option of giving it a fictional name but naming the state it's in. There are still enough regional differences that people will recognize something from the state name. Since you said mining versus strip mining, it made me think of Pennsylvania first, but there are a lot of places it could be. I've also used the option of setting it in a completely generic modern America, but that is a small minority of stories.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Yes, I had two volunteer editors review my earlier work. Then I re-wrote those chapters and replaced them with this Lifestyle series.

I did mention the hometown is in central Pennsylvania in Ch 1, when he was making the radio contact. And by building the characters in chapters two and three, I found I left enough vague descriptions of their past sexual encounters to provide fodder for the basis for my latest chapter with her reminiscing about an abusive ex-lover.

I didn't pre-plan chapter 11 when writing ch 1-3. But the scene for her to use her husband as an escape from the bad memory just came to me later. (I posted this latest ch 11 to "Romance" to test the views and responses in that category. So far, one hater 1-bomb, then three 5's, but only just over 1K views.)

 

[gunhilltrain]

Yes, I had two volunteer editors review my earlier work. Then I re-wrote those chapters and replaced them with this Lifestyle series.

I did mention the hometown is in central Pennsylvania in Ch 1, when he was making the radio contact. And by building the characters in chapters two and three, I found I left enough vague descriptions of their past sexual encounters to provide fodder for the basis for my latest chapter with her reminiscing about an abusive ex-lover.

I didn't pre-plan chapter 11 when writing ch 1-3. But the scene for her to use her husband as an escape from the bad memory just came to me later. (I posted this latest ch 11 to "Romance" to test the views and responses in that category. So far, one hater 1-bomb, then three 5's, but only just over 1K views.)

Oops, I missed the Pennsylvania reference. I tend to go a bit overboard with these things and sometimes give exact street intersections.

Series can be difficult if one doesn't work out the ending before starting, and I usually don't. It's okay however to add an unexpected chapter, or even a stand-alone sequel if that seems to be merited (like a big time gap, as in several years). It's also okay to go back and write about some previously unmentioned event in the middle. That has to be a stand-alone story because you can't renumber a series. If you have a note at the top explaining what you are doing, most readers will accept that.

As I mentioned elsewhere, view counts seem to be way down. It's getting hard to break 1,000 views when it used to be that the most mediocre story (I know because I wrote them) would get thousands or even tens of thousands of views. So far no one has been able to explain it.

 

[Busterhymen43]

I like the genre, would be happy to read and give feedback. Cheers.

Be careful what you wish for. most who comment are rude and dop so anonymously. Which in my humble opinion gives their comment no creditability, I turn comments off. I look at the ratings. They give a better view of how your story is accepted.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

Be careful what you wish for. most who comment are rude and dop so anonymously. Which in my humble opinion gives their comment no creditability, I turn comments off. I look at the ratings. They give a better view of how your story is accepted.

I’m genuine.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I worked out my series ending before I started. But when I deviated to write some of my ideas for Author Challenges (Pink Orchid and On The Job), I posted those as standalones, even though they would have fit in later chapters in the timeline.

I do use an Author's Note to provide some context. And I try to inject enough relevant character points in those standalones to make sense of their actions.

 

[stargame]

If you need a beta reader, I'll be happy to volunteer. 48 stories, most of them rated 4+.

Two things to remember:

1.) Writing is like umpiring. Even if you make a mistake, it's still right.

2.) Some of the Anon commenters are trolls who have never written anything, but will trash your work for the fun of it. They are to be ignored.

I'd love to read your stories.