Boys...

[amicus]

Got this forwarded email from my daughter tonight, thought it might give leverage to my "Girls" thread of a few days ago...
~~~

Perfect- I laughed so hard.

>
>
>
> For those who have sons & those who are happy they don't.
>
>
> And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like ....
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> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. Ft. House 4 inches deep.
>
> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with Roller blades, they can ignite.
>
> 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
>
> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not Strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and A Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint Can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. Room.
>
> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a Few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a Long way.
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> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
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> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's Already too late.
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> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
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> 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
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> 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-Year old Boy.
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> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same Sentence.
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> 12.) Super glue is forever.
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> 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you Still can't walk on water.
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> 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
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> 15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV Commercials show they do.
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> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
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> 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
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> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
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> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys Do not like ovens.
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> 20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response Time.
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> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make Earthworms dizzy.
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> 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
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> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
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> 24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their Friends, with or without kids.
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> 25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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>
>




--
Elizabeth, ********MBA
"Learn to value yourself, which means: to fight for your happiness."
Ayn Rand

~~~

Watched some television on this damp, cloudy and windy day, contemplating the final pumpkin in my garden, to harvest or not...happy the DiamondBacks won as did the Colorado Rockies in the MLB earlier playoff games...rewatched the first episode of the Ken Burns thing on PBS (I saw all of them), was surprised, pleasantly so, to discover, also on PBS, "Legends of Jazz", hosted by Jazz Pianist Ramsey Lewis, featuring Dave Brubeck and Billy Taylor, a really charming program and then Charlie Rose, with a State Department interview that gave hope about ameliorating North Korea, China, Japan and even Iran, down the road a piece and then the humorous note from my daughter...thought I would share...


Amicus...

 

[SFwriter]

Bump because the last line made me laugh, particularly as I was already wondering what they were...

 

[amicus]

Hi, SFWriter...welcome...

"...> 25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid..."

Yeah, I got a chuckle out of that also...

Amicus...

 

[TheEarl]

If I knew what the English equivalent for Clorox was, then I'd be sorely tempted to try it too.

The Earl

 

[oggbashan]

If I knew what the English equivalent for Clorox was, then I'd be sorely tempted to try it too.

The Earl

Bleach

 

[amicus]

http://cellar.org/archive/index.php/t-8666.html

Had no idea where this would go, but knowing me, I searched ...'brake fluid and bleach', and found a bunch....this has apparently been around for a while...


Amicus...

 

[Vermilion]

I guess I'm an anomaly then, cos I passed it on *and* wanted to try the brake fluid and bleach thing...
x
V

 

[knitedreams]

My Aunt said that list was nothing new to her especially since she's seen it all with her two boys. What that list doesn't have:

Anything on wheels is crashable, make sure you have damn good insurance.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

Number 15 is my favorite as my nephew did that one. Along with putting 25 dollars worth of quarters in it that they did not find until he stuffed the sandwich in

 

[cloudy]

I have one to add: Never buy the jumbo-sized bottle of baby powder. The "child proof" lid is in no way child proof, and baby powder is worse than flour to get out of wine-colored carpet.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

My Aunt said that list was nothing new to her especially since she's seen it all with her two boys. What that list doesn't have:

Anything on wheels is crashable, make sure you have damn good insurance.

Anyone with a teenage boy driver won't have good insurance for very long.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Chantilyvamp]

cloudy ~ *snicker* forest green carpet does about the same.

Here is one from my brother, though we were all dumb enough to do it after he tried it.

Going down a very steep hill on a bicycle with no brakes is not a good idea when the road you are doing it on crosses over the railroad tracks. On the same note taking a sled down said hill is not any safer!

 

[jomar]

Ahh, the old 'mix household chemicals' thing. Did that as a kid.

Also, you'd be surprised how many babies a praying mantis has, especially when they escape the jar in the bedroom.

 

[SeaCat]

*Snicker*

While I have seen this before I always find it amusing.

Others to add.

Large inner tubes are great for sliding down an ice covered hill during the winter. Unfortunately kids will try to roll down the same hill while sitting inside the inner tubes during the summer.

Turtles will survive in a swimming pool. As will snakes.

Grandmothers do not react well to snakes in said swimming pool.

Lawn Darts and other sharp objects always come down when thrown into the air.

Clothes Line does not work well for Tire Swings.

Poison Ivy can get everywhere.

One can make a Mini Bike with a Bike Frame and a Lawnmower Engine.

Boys will try to jump a mini bike.

Do not give young boys Chemistry Kits unless you have a place for them to play with them outside.

Cat

 

[knitedreams]

Anyone with a teenage boy driver won't have good insurance for very long.

Rumple Foreskin

You're right about that. I think my Aunt and Uncle were dropped by their insurance after my teenage cousin's fourth wrecked car that broke an electric pole. They had to pay for a new electric pole and a few people had to go without power.

 

[starrkers]

I can add one as well:

Two small boys and a garden hose can flood a kitchen an inch deep with water dripping off all surfaces within five minutes.

Resulting mess will take mother three hours to fix.

 

[knitedreams]

Only three hours and just the mother with no professional help needed? The boys didn't do it right.

 

[starrkers]

Only three hours and just the mother with no professional help needed? The boys didn't do it right.

It was only a small kitchen.

 

[jomar]

Go carts with fabricated wings will not get airborne in the way intended.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

My husband used to ride his bike off the roof and into the neighbors swimming pool...

My little guy is climbing trees now... I just watch out the kitchen window... with my breath held... and pray a lot... we'll see if we make it to graduation without any broken bones... :x

 

[cloudy]

No matter how many times you tell them that a bed sheet is not the same as a parachute, they will try it at least once - sometimes from the roof.

 

[SeaCat]

No matter how many times you tell them that a bed sheet is not the same as a parachute, they will try it at least once - sometimes from the roof.

With me it was from the roof of the barn.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

Riding a bicycle down a deep narrow ditch is exciting, until it gets too narrow.

Plastic Sleds on icy sleet glazed hills don't stop when you want them to. (Barns do not make good brakes.)

A window can be broken by a thrown Corn Cob.

Bleach and Amonia do not mix well in small spaces.

A young boy is not detered by a field filled with Meadow Muffins.

Boys will make some of the most amazing snow forts given time and opportunity.

Boys are fascinated by fire. It's hardwired.

Cat

Yes my mother did get most of her gray hairs from me.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

A young boy is not detered by a field filled with Meadow Muffins.

Wanna explain this one to the city girl?

 

[impressive]

There are four raucous 12-year-old boys in my basement. I'm scared now.