Bottoming - and ED

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

This post is not about anal sex. It is specifically about M2M oral sex - that is, giving and/or getting blow jobs.

It seems to me that many guys looking for in M2M experiences in Lit Forums and Lit Chat are Identifying strictly as "bottoms". Why? Why not at least "Switch"?

I've had many M2M experiences as a "top", (with my personal cocksucker, and random hook-ups in ABS video booths), however, those days may now be over.

My experiences as an "oral top" had always been very satisfying, but I received radiation treatments for prostate cancer which left me with this predicament - I get hard, still leak a fair amount of precum, and, although I have orgasms, I really don't cum anymore. So, I have some form of ED, probably to get worse. Many other guys can't get hard without the help of some drug, and that takes some planning.

If not for my fear of contracting some STD, I think I would have been an occasional oral bottom. I always had the desire to at least "return the favor". So, while my wife has lost interest in sex - even me making her cum orally (I've always been an excellent pussy licker) - I still have the desire for sex.

So, the desire to bottom orally in a M2M encounter has grown stronger. I'm not submissive at all, although I'm also not dominant. I'm an equal opportunity/rights guy. I think it is, in part, that since I can't cum, I'd be cheating my hook-up out of what he's looking for mostly as a cocksucker - and that's a mouthful of cum; And that to ID as a bottom would free me of the potential to have to reward a cocksucker with that mouthful and save me from embarrassment, with an underperforming or unperforming cock.

So, Bottoms - what is your main motivation?

 

[whiteasianlvr]

I think the "motivation" is the connection. You indicate you are a top - and it would seem that it's only your ED challenges that might affect that since you might have difficulties cumming when being serviced. But the difficulty you're enduring hasn't changed your "orientation" as a top. The same is true for a bottom. We're just wired differently but still desire to connect based on our innate wiring. It's the why, how, etc of that "wiring" that will always be our mystery!

 

[Escierto]

I think the "motivation" is the connection. You indicate you are a top - and it would seem that it's only your ED challenges that might affect that since you might have difficulties cumming when being serviced. But the difficulty you're enduring hasn't changed your "orientation" as a top. The same is true for a bottom. We're just wired differently but still desire to connect based on our innate wiring. It's the why, how, etc of that "wiring" that will always be our mystery!

Very true. There is no explaining it really. It's like asking why you like a particular food. Who knows? You just like it.

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

I guess my question is more directed at Bi guys who have had M2M oral sex and have traditionally been a top and now are seeking M2M oral sex (not anal) as a bottom.

What affected your inclinations towards M2M oral sex - bottom vs top or switch?
1) Changes in performance (can't get hard, no cum produced) resulting from either age and/or health circumstances?
2) The thought that it would be easier to find guys who want to get blowjobs, rather than to give them?
3) A change in your personality from dominant to submissive?
4) Just a desire to experience the other side of the BJ experience - giver, not receiver?

 

[BiDrew42]

I have always preferred to bottom since the first time I got fucked in the ass a long, long time ago, so maybe not the perspective you're looking for.

I had radiation therapy for prostate cancer several years ago. It did affect my ability to get and keep an erection, but Viagra fixed that problem. Since I almost exclusively bottom when I'm with males, an erection is not even necessary in most cases. When I top my trans girlfriend, I occasionally have dry orgasms. It still feels the same when I do orgasm, but sometimes no cum comes out or it oozes out slowly or even later on. I explained my dilemma before the first time we had sex and she has never had a problem with it.

So, if you explain your issues in advance, I believe most potential partners will understand. If all they're looking for is a mouthful of cum, they're missing out on the joys of worshipping a hard cock. As far as potential STD's, I take PrEP every day to prevent HIV, and I have recently begun taking DoxyPEP after unprotected sex with casual hookups to prevent bacterial infections.

 

[Tayloroc]

This is encouraging - I had prostate surgery too and am hoping to get Viagra!

 

[Spoogecup]

This post is not about anal sex. It is specifically about M2M oral sex - that is, getting and/or getting blow jobs.

It seems to me that many guys looking for in M2M experiences in Lit Forums and Lit Chat are Identifying strictly as "bottoms". Why? Why not at least "Switch"?

I've had many M2M experiences as a "top", (with my personal cocksucker, and random hook-ups in ABS video booths), however, those days may now be over.

My experiences as an "oral top" had always been very satisfying, but I received radiation treatments for prostate cancer which left me with this predicament - I get hard, still leak a fair amount of precum, and, although I have orgasms, I really don't cum anymore. So, I have some form of ED, probably to get worse. Many other guys can't get hard without the help of some drug, and that takes some planning.

If not for my fear of contracting some STD, I think I would have been an occasional oral bottom. I always had the desire to at least "return the favor". So, while my wife has lost interest in sex - even me making her cum orally (I've always been an excellent pussy licker) - I still have the desire for sex.

So, the desire to bottom orally in a M2M encounter has grown stronger. I'm not submissive at all, although I'm also not dominant. I'm an equal opportunity/rights guy. I think it is, in part, that since I can't cum, I'd be cheating my hook-up out of what he's looking for mostly as a cocksucker - and that's a mouthful of cum; And that to ID as a bottom would free me of the potential to have to reward a cocksucker with that mouthful and saves me from embarrassment, with an underperforming or unperforming cock.

So, Bottoms - what is your main motivation?

Prior to becoming a "side bitch" for the guy who's been using me for the last 5 years, I was a two hole slut for a guy in his early 40s who told me it took a lot to make him cum.... I soon found out that he was not exaggerating in the slightest .... He was a good deal larger than average and quite thick.... But he was always close to full hard when he put it in my mouth and I felt him get full on stiff within a minute in my mouth... His end goal was to fuck me every time so I assumed that's when he wanted to cum ...
Even when he pumped my throat hard, he never let out a drop of cum and he stayed super hard every time... When he put me in position on all 4s, he gave me a workout like I never had before... He felt like a padded steel rod inside of me and made me actually feel faint with excitement... But, the excitement morphed into soreness after 10 to 15 minutes and he was still rock hard and still no cum... He'd already made me sissygasm so I was getting used up but, when I told him, he said he already knew about my sissy leaking but all he wanted from me was my holes.... After listening to my whimpering for a while, he eventually pulled out STILL stiff as a board... This same scenario was repeated the next 6 or 7 times he used me... I think he missed his calling as a porn star.

 

[kccasey]

Prior to becoming a "side bitch" for the guy who's been using me for the last 5 years, I was a two hole slut for a guy in his early 40s who told me it took a lot to make him cum.... I soon found out that he was not exaggerating in the slightest .... He was a good deal larger than average and quite thick.... But he was always close to full hard when he put it in my mouth and I felt him get full on stiff within a minute in my mouth... His end goal was to fuck me every time so I assumed that's when he wanted to cum ...
Even when he pumped my throat hard, he never let out a drop of cum and he stayed super hard every time... When he put me in position on all 4s, he gave me a workout like I never had before... He felt like a padded steel rod inside of me and made me actually feel faint with excitement... But, the excitement morphed into soreness after 10 to 15 minutes and he was still rock hard and still no cum... He'd already made me sissygasm so I was getting used up but, when I told him, he said he already knew about my sissy leaking but all he wanted from me was my holes.... After listening to my whimpering for a while, he eventually pulled out STILL stiff as a board... This same scenario was repeated the next 6 or 7 times he used me... I think he missed his calling as a porn star.

Spoogecup, your post excites me very much. What you describe with the 40 year old lover is so hot, I want that experience for myself. At least it is what I fantasize about.
I have been with a lover who fucked me very hard for an extended period. I had to ask for a break, which was granted. After a few minutes rest, a bit of water and the palpitations in my ass calmed down. Then we went at it some more. Now I continued to the end, taking all my lover could give and asking for more. When I did cum, it was one of my most powerfull orgasms ever.

 

[Spoogecup]

Spoogecup, your post excites me very much. What you describe with the 40 year old lover is so hot, I want that experience for myself. At least it is what I fantasize about.
I have been with a lover who fucked me very hard for an extended period. I had to ask for a break, which was granted. After a few minutes rest, a bit of water and the palpitations in my ass calmed down. Then we went at it some more. Now I continued to the end, taking all my lover could give and asking for more. When I did cum, it was one of my most powerfull orgasms ever.

Oh hun....that sounds SO thrillingly hot ! ... You got to experience that marvelous cum and I DID have a lovely sissygasm BUT what he had told me at the beginning was true .... He had said that it takes a lot to make him cum .... Well, I never got to see, feel or taste it... I guess I wasn't faggot enough to deserve it ...
He used my mouth, my tongue, my lips, my throat and my boi pussy to the point of total exhaustion a number of times but no cum... His manly cock was still as rigid every time when I pulled a hand full of wipes and cleaned him off as it was when he began.... I'm not complaining in the slightest because he always brought out every ounce of faggot I had to give him .... That feeling of total and complete submission along with such powerful feelings of feminine compliance were all I dared ever dream of ... At several points, I actually held his large stiff manhood against my quivering cheek attempting to intensify my inner thrill even more... He gave me such an intensely wonderful feeling...loving my role as his faggot.... Only my soreness and exhaustion prevented me from taking him inside of me in further effort to provide him with all the satisfaction he deserved... I never was able to bring forth his manly fluid but he DID give me such a powerful feeling as a true faggot

 

[luvslingerie200]

This post is not about anal sex. It is specifically about M2M oral sex - that is, getting and/or getting blow jobs.

It seems to me that many guys looking for in M2M experiences in Lit Forums and Lit Chat are Identifying strictly as "bottoms". Why? Why not at least "Switch"?

I've had many M2M experiences as a "top", (with my personal cocksucker, and random hook-ups in ABS video booths), however, those days may now be over.

My experiences as an "oral top" had always been very satisfying, but I received radiation treatments for prostate cancer which left me with this predicament - I get hard, still leak a fair amount of precum, and, although I have orgasms, I really don't cum anymore. So, I have some form of ED, probably to get worse. Many other guys can't get hard without the help of some drug, and that takes some planning.

If not for my fear of contracting some STD, I think I would have been an occasional oral bottom. I always had the desire to at least "return the favor". So, while my wife has lost interest in sex - even me making her cum orally (I've always been an excellent pussy licker) - I still have the desire for sex.

So, the desire to bottom orally in a M2M encounter has grown stronger. I'm not submissive at all, although I'm also not dominant. I'm an equal opportunity/rights guy. I think it is, in part, that since I can't cum, I'd be cheating my hook-up out of what he's looking for mostly as a cocksucker - and that's a mouthful of cum; And that to ID as a bottom would free me of the potential to have to reward a cocksucker with that mouthful and saves me from embarrassment, with an underperforming or unperforming cock.

So, Bottoms - what is your main motivation?

Damn, I could have written this. although my radiation treatment was for colon cancer

 

[nassauguy_2001]

I think the "motivation" is the connection. You indicate you are a top - and it would seem that it's only your ED challenges that might affect that since you might have difficulties cumming when being serviced. But the difficulty you're enduring hasn't changed your "orientation" as a top. The same is true for a bottom. We're just wired differently but still desire to connect based on our innate wiring. It's the why, how, etc of that "wiring" that will always be our mystery!

Excellent answer! I know it's true for me. Again for me, as long as you get semi hard or better, I would be happy to suck you knowing that I won't get a mouthful of cum as you orgasm. It's really about the BJ and you attaining orgasm for me to be happy!
Just my honest opinion...

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

I think the "motivation" is the connection. You indicate you are a top - and it would seem that it's only your ED challenges that might affect that since you might have difficulties cumming when being serviced. But the difficulty you're enduring hasn't changed your "orientation" as a top. The same is true for a bottom. We're just wired differently but still desire to connect based on our innate wiring. It's the why, how, etc of that "wiring" that will always be our mystery!

Excellent answer! I know it's true for me. Again for me, as long as you get semi hard or better, I would be happy to suck you knowing that I won't get a mouthful of cum as you orgasm. It's really about the BJ and you attaining orgasm for me to be happy!
Just my honest opinion...

I understand what you guys are saying, but I have never been a bottom, oral or otherwise. Additionally, I have no desire for a "romantic" experience or relationship with another guy; and I believe that my stronger desire to bottom orally has grown out of my "dry orgasm" issues. In the past, all of the guys who have given me blowjobs (all in ABS video booth areas, except for my personal cocksucker), have been "rewarded" with a mouthful, and none of them have made a "romantic move" (i.e. - kiss me).

So, are you saying that "bottoms" just like to suck, and are OK if their "top" doesn't cum? Remember that this "top" is definitely NOT interested in a "relationship".

 

[whiteasianlvr]

You begin by saying, "I have never been a bottom, oral or otherwise." Then you add, "my stronger desire to bottom orally, etc." It would appear your conflict, if I may use that term, originates from your "dry orgasm" issues not from your desires. Frankly, and forgive me if this comes across as rude, you come across as a selfish top with performance issues rather than a man who is wired with the desire to serve another and to find fulfillment in doing so. A bottom doesn't just "like to suck" - there's usually a connectivity with the man they are serving that is rewarding and at least for some of us, it's not just a "mouthful" but the emotional, and psychological aspects of service.

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

whiteasianlvr:

I do understand your desire to "serve another and to find fulfillment in doing so", but that's not me or my motivation. Oh, and I don't take your response as being rude. If my desire comes across as selfish, I am guilty as charged.

As I have said, my desire to suck cock is entirely sexual. I possess no wiring to serve another or develop an emotional attachment. In my experiences as a "top" with other men, it's always been only about sex; that is, my appreciation of receiving a good blowjob. It's been, thanks for the blowjob, goodbye.

In my opinion (and some observation), most of the guys giving me blowjobs have been married guys whose wives have stopped having sex, and are looking for the same thing as me, and that's sex - "no strings attached" sex. And, to fulfill their desire to have sex, they are willing to be the cocksucker, since there are also plenty of guys out there who just want to have their cocks sucked and shoot their load, as I have been. And I also believe that those guys on their knees are expecting - and some, if not all, are wanting to get a mouthful of cum, as a reward for a (blow)job well done. That's the kind of arrangement I would want to have.

I have always been very orally fixated, both by giving Cunnilingus and from having my cock sucked by my wife and other men. Additionally, my desire to suck cock has been there since my younger years, but due to circumstances - my personal cocksucker had ED - and I wasn't willing to risk picking up an STD from the guys I've met in Adult Book Store Video areas, I would have been on my knees a number of times and taken that "mouthful".

So, maybe, based on your definition of a "bottom", I'm not really looking to be one; I'm just a selfish "top". Perhaps, if a could still cum, that would satisfy my desire for oral sex with another man, but, as I have said, I have developed a stronger desire to suck that cock and get that reward, but not to develop a relationship with any such man attached to that cock.

 

[PFWilly]

I guess my question is more directed at Bi guys who have had M2M oral sex and have traditionally been a top and now are seeking M2M oral sex (not anal) as a bottom.

What affected your inclinations towards M2M oral sex - bottom vs top or switch?
1) Changes in performance (can't get hard, no cum produced) resulting from either age and/or health circumstances?
2) The thought that it would be easier to find guys who want to get blowjobs, rather than to give them?
3) A change in your personality from dominant to submissive?
4) Just a desire to experience the other side of the BJ experience - giver, not receiver?

I’ve never really been a top, but for most of my life have been a switch. Nevertheless, I’ll offer an opinion. I will admit that I began as a switch, enjoying both roles pretty much equally, but evolved over a few decades to becoming an oral bottom.

1) I’ve had some health challenges, primarily heart disease in the 90’s. I started having some very mild ED issues, but still enjoyed receiving as much as giving. After I retired in 2000, I had more opportunities to have sex with men. As an aside, my first consensual M2M happened in my last year of high school with my best friend…I loved it. After retirement, and more frequent encounters I began to realize that I enjoyed sucking cock just a little bit more than being sucked. My ED problems have really increased in the last two years. I get much satisfaction from trying to give a guy the best blow job of his life…it’s a challenge!

2) I have found that it is little easier to find someone who just prefers to be serviced, rather than a focus on reciprocation. That trend seems to continue, and I’m okay with that…lol.

3) Never considered the Dom/Sub sort of aspect. Frankly that perspective turns me off. Big time.

4) Not applicable. I view my attitude as having evolved. Largely due to my physical inability to maintain an erection. OTOH, I’ve enjoyed giving pleasure to another guy since that first consensual experience with my buddy. I had another friend in my 20’s, who I loved to suck off. Big cock, and a very quick recovery time…lol. He also gave me some of the best orgasms I ever experienced. (My wife enjoyed him too….lol. But that’s another story)

My life has changed, I’ve adapted, and found new ways to enjoy it…lol.

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

I’ve never really been a top, but for most of my life have been a switch. Nevertheless, I’ll offer an opinion. I will admit that I began as a switch, enjoying both roles pretty much equally, but evolved over a few decades to becoming an oral bottom.

1) I’ve had some health challenges, primarily heart disease in the 90’s. I started having some very mild ED issues, but still enjoyed receiving as much as giving. After I retired in 2000, I had more opportunities to have sex with men. As an aside, my first consensual M2M happened in my last year of high school with my best friend…I loved it. After retirement, and more frequent encounters I began to realize that I enjoyed sucking cock just a little bit more than being sucked. My ED problems have really increased in the last two years. I get much satisfaction from trying to give a guy the best blow job of his life…it’s a challenge!

2) I have found that it is little easier to find someone who just prefers to be serviced, rather than a focus on reciprocation. That trend seems to continue, and I’m okay with that…lol.

PFWilly: The bolded areas of your response seem to line up somewhat more closely, but not exactly, with my thoughts and experiences on the subject.

If I read it correctly, although you originally enjoyed sucking and being sucked equally, your experience has revealed that more guys want to get blowjobs, rather than give them. And, since your ED problems have increased, so has your desire to be an "oral bottom".

So, you want to give blowjobs more than receive blowjobs because you have ED. Am I correct in my assessment?

 

[PFWilly]

Yes. Besides the heart issues, I’m in monitoring after recovering from my second encounter with cancer.

Your thoughts are accurate.

Still trying to have fun.

 

[PFWilly]

And, not sure why some of my text was in bold print. LOL

 

[Phatfeet]

I think Bottoming and Erectile Disfunction would seem to have various reasons that may not be as complicated as we are making them out to be.

Life is about experiences and as we grow older we tend to gravitate away from selfishness as a whole. We often call it karma, but we see it a lot, and as we grow older, appreciate that often selfish acts result in bad things happening back to us sort time later. While only-topping is not necessarily a selfish act on its own, bottoming without reciprocation should be considered very selfless.

Unfortunately ED is a product of age even if it is medical or for other reasons primarily, so many people wrongly equate Bottoming and ED. I don't think that is the case.

I think as we age... and tend to get ED as we do, we really just don't care about our own needs, finding out that it is immensely gratifying to help others more than ourselves. Bottoms does just that. I think in that we just happen to get ED too, but its not the contributing factor. I think some personality types are just more prone to finding pleasure in gratifying others, while some personality types would find bottoming deplorable. There is nothing wrong with either type however; just differences.

 

[peter49parker]

I guess my question is more directed at Bi guys who have had M2M oral sex and have traditionally been a top and now are seeking M2M oral sex (not anal) as a bottom.

What affected your inclinations towards M2M oral sex - bottom vs top or switch?
1) Changes in performance (can't get hard, no cum produced) resulting from either age and/or health circumstances?
2) The thought that it would be easier to find guys who want to get blowjobs, rather than to give them?
3) A change in your personality from dominant to submissive?
4) Just a desire to experience the other side of the BJ experience - giver, not receiver?

I do not fit your profile, as stated in your post, since I never really considered myself as a top when it involved M2M oral sex, but I have evolved from a switch, to a bottom. When I first began searching for a M friend, I looked for someone that wanted to suck me as much as I wanted to suck them. The first couple of guys fit this need, precisely. I also found that some guys could not reciprocate, once they had cum. If they truly wanted to suck, they had to suck first, to avoid losing their desire after orgasm.

Then I met a guy who said he wanted to suck and get sucked, but didn't really want to suck as much as get sucked. The first time we met, we tried some different positions, where I sucked him, then he sucked me, then we tried a 69. Eventually, He directed me to crawl up from the foot of the bed, and finish the job, which I did. I found it more than a little exciting, being told what to do for him. After he had finished, in my mouth, and I swallowed, he took over, giving me more of a hand job, with a little tongue action, until I came in his hand.

A week later, I was back in his bed, sucking his cock to completion, as he once again directed me on what to do, and when to do it. I was finding my stride as a complete oral bottom. Once he had finished, he would have me masturbate, and shoot my load on his cock and balls. He never sucked, or took my cock in his mouth again, but I was happy being his cock sucker. Over the course of the next four years, I sucked him off in excess of 100 times, and loved every one of them, as did he. It only ended, when we sold our vacation home in Florida.

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

And, not sure why some of my text was in bold print. LOL

I bolded them to respond to those particular statements you made. LOL

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

I’ve never really been a top, but for most of my life have been a switch. Nevertheless, I’ll offer an opinion. I will admit that I began as a switch, enjoying both roles pretty much equally, but evolved over a few decades to becoming an oral bottom.

I had another friend in my 20’s, who I loved to suck off. Big cock, and a very quick recovery time…lol. He also gave me some of the best orgasms I ever experienced. (My wife enjoyed him too….lol. But that’s another story.)

(I bolded the text, so I can ask about that.) Please tell me/us the other story.

Did you and your wife enjoy your friend together?
Did she always know that you liked to suck cock or was that something that she found out when you two were with your friend?
Did she persuade you or otherwise encourage you to suck him?
When he gave you orgasms was it from sucking you or fucking you?
How did your wife enjoy him? Did she suck and/or fuck him?

 

[PFWilly]

Sent a PM.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I have ED in a way when not watching porn which makes me bottom a lot more.

I also get very nervous when I'm around other people and can't get hard.

 

[Escierto]

The motivation for me is an expression of love for the one Im with, letting him know that I trust him and surrender to him.

Exactly how I feel about my girl! I surrender to her completely.