Boring movies

[kellycummings]

I'm bored so I figured I'd start a movie thread about the most boring movie you've ever seen. I mean so boring you fought to stay awake, even in a theater. Movies caught on cable at 2am do not count.

My vote:

Bergmans 'Cries and Whispers'
I saw this in a film class and (I'm not exaggerating) the entire class fell asleep, even the prof. It's nothing against Bergman, I like him, but this was ridiculous.

2nd place: The English Patient. I couldn't finish this movie after 3 tries and finally gave up.

 

[Just_John1]

Just goes to show

How bad my memory is... perhaps that's fotunate in this case. The worst movie I ever saw as far as boring goes was the one where the guy that was in Titanic killed another guy with a boat paddle in a row boat and then became him... Incredibly long and intensely boring...

Wish I could remember the name just to make sure I never see it again.

JJ1

 

[Guest]

Kelly, you note two films that bored you and give not a reason. Why should we give a wit, or add to the list?

Here's a very interesting dissection of a boring film, any two or three sentences explain why it's boring

ruthless

Don't mean to make much of a fuss, but you did say you were bored, then proceeded to make a boring post.

Perdita

 

[Just_John1]

Oh

I guess I answered with a boring post too...

The movie had a boring plot, the dialog was stale, the acting was mid grade, and the scenes never seemed to go anywhere, there was no tension in the movie at all... The scenery was nice though

JJ1

 

[CharleyH]

The Wiz -because well it was fucking boring - I got dragged out, otherwise I'd have fallen asleep even then.

Naked Gun 33 and 1/2
The first James Bond film with Pierce
And some Michelle Pfiffer film.

those three because I fell asleep. I have no other explanation.

NOW lets TALK BARBARELLA - which I saw at 7 because it was rated as a childrens film

 

[kellycummings]

Kelly, you note two films that bored you and give not a reason. Why should we give a wit, or add to the list?

Here's a very interesting dissection of a boring film, any two or three sentences explain why it's boring

ruthless

Don't mean to make much of a fuss, but you did say you were bored, then proceeded to make a boring post.

Perdita

Because I didn't want to start a film review course. Just wondered what movies people thought were boring. Who cares why? The ones I didn't like others will think are masterpieces. I could say that Cries and Whispers was incredibly slow and the symbolism too over the top. It wouldn't matter because someone will come and say it was perfect. A friend of mine who is a critic said he absolutely loved Cries and Whispers. I couldn't argue it with him because I had to agree with most of what he said. I was simply bored by it.

 

[Just_John1]

Oragsmatron!!!

I still have fantasies about the orgasmatron!!! God what a great memory... or was that mammory???

JJ1

 

[kellycummings]

NOW lets TALK BARBARELLA - which I saw at 7 because it was rated as a childrens film [/B]

How cool was that movie?! Made no sense but it sure did look good and was fun.

Sort of along those lines, has anyone ever seen Flesh Gordon? Hilarious!

 

[Madame Manga]

Years ago, Hubby and I rented "sex, lies and videotape", having read endless rave reviews. We fast-forwarded through the tape after about half an hour of watching, bored and irritated out of our skulls. It's been a long time, so the details have faded, but IMO the movie made a very good case for "show, don't tell." Endless, pointless dialogue or monologue from vapid characters don't make a story. Sexy it wasn't, either. I was hoping for a little soft-core porn or something considering the title--it didn't even live down to that.

MM

 

[Just_John1]

Seenit!

Wasn't bored chuckle chuckle...

JJ1

 

[CharleyH]

Re: Oragsmatron!!!

I still have fantasies about the orgasmatron!!! God what a great memory... or was that mammory???

JJ1

 

[kellycummings]

Years ago, Hubby and I rented "sex, lies and videotape", having read endless rave reviews. We fast-forwarded through the tape after about half an hour of watching, bored and irritated out of our skulls. It's been a long time, so the details have faded, but IMO the movie made a very good case for "show, don't tell." Endless, pointless dialogue or monologue from vapid characters don't make a story. Sexy it wasn't, either. I was hoping for a little soft-core porn or something considering the title--it didn't even live down to that.

MM

I remember the first time I saw it I thought it was interesting but when I went back and viewed it again I had the same impression as you. Perhaps I was caught up in the hype at the time.

 

[CharleyH]

How cool was that movie?! Made no sense but it sure did look good and was fun.

Sort of along those lines, has anyone ever seen Flesh Gordon? Hilarious!

Hey where did duran duran get their name - of course - it was cool.

Flesh Gordon sure

NOW 'Lair of the White Worm' - there's semi-obscure. I should know the director - lol - jesus he was an auteur - had to study the fucker . . . Kenneth - Ken Russell? Brit. . . PERDITA! Save me from my own stupidity!

Never mind - yep - Ken Russell - certain - I think? Tommy - Whore and a bunch of musical-bios. Highly SEXual.

 

[kellycummings]

Hey where did duran duran get their name - of course - it was cool.

Flesh Gordon sure

NOW 'Lair of the White Worm' - there's semi-obscure. I should know the director - lol - jesus he was an auteur - had to study the fucker . . . Kenneth - Ken Russell? Brit. . . PERDITA! Save me from my own stupidity!

Never mind - yep - Ken Russell - certain - I think? Tommy - Whore and a bunch of musical-bios. Highly SEXual.

Yes, Ken Russell. Not one of my faves but he has his fans. Tommy was ok but I really hated Whore.

 

[Guest]

Kenneth - Ken Russell? Brit. . . PERDITA! Save me from my own stupidity!

O god yes yes yes. Russell has got to be one of the thickest turds in filmland. I saw his film "Gothic" about Byron and the Shelley's only for the subject matter but it was excruciatingly bad and boring, even with Gabriel Byrne as Byron (he stunk).

I went to this movie with my last husband, who loved it, and I knew (though it wasn't the clincher in my divorce decree) that it was a meaningful moment when he became angry at my insistence that he was full of crap.

Phew! that felt good. Thanks, Ch.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

 

[raphy]

The first James Bond film with Pierce

Awww, I thought Goldeneye was the best of the Brosnan bonds. At least the bad guy was believable and they didn't try and foist Denise Richards on us as a nuclear physicist *cough splutter gag*

Only movie I've ever fallen asleep during was Pi. God that movie sucked.

 

[kellycummings]

Dances with Wolves

Started out the same way F-Troop did, but not nearly as funny.

Oh, and every movie Kevin Costner made after Bull Durham.

You'd think after Waterworld and The Postman that people would stop giving that man money but they keep doing it! why? For the love of all things sacred, stop letting him make movies!

That said, I like Dances with Wolves and The Untouchables.

 

[CharleyH]

O god yes yes yes. Russell has got to be one of the thickest turds in filmland. I saw his film "Gothic" about Byron and the Shelley's only for the subject matter but it was excruciatingly bad and boring, even with Gabriel Byrne as Byron (he stunk).

I went to this movie with my last husband, who loved it, and I knew (though it wasn't the clincher in my divorce decree) that it was a meaningful moment when he became angry at my insistence that he was full of crap.

Phew! that felt good. Thanks, Ch.

Perdita

LOL - always to be of help when you need relief - but Lair of the white worm was funny, cheese but fun

 

[Guest]

LOL - always to be of help when you need relief - but Lair of the white worm was funny, cheese but fun

Didn't see the white worm. As I said, only went to see Gothic cos of the subject plus usually good actors. Remember the wrestling scene in "Women in Love". It was dangerously aesthetic and so in your face as to not be erotic. Poor Alan Bates and Oliver Reed, hope they were paid well.

Perdita

 

[CharleyH]

Awww, I thought Goldeneye was the best of the Brosnan bonds. At least the bad guy was believable and they didn't try and foist Denise Richards on us as a nuclear physicist *cough splutter gag*

Only movie I've ever fallen asleep during was Pi. God that movie sucked.

LOL - well maybe it was my date not putting out? LOL - SERIOUSLY. Why does one fall asleep in a THEATRE! I know - boring dates!!! 2 of them . . lol - the Phiffer one, well, I was in U and went with friends and ALL of us fell asleep! IN FACT - the whole audience WAS asleep when I woke - now there's absurdity at its finest.

 

[kellycummings]

LOL - well maybe it was my date not putting out? LOL - SERIOUSLY. Why does one fall asleep in a THEATRE! I know - boring dates!!! 2 of them . . lol - the Phiffer one, well, I was in U and went with friends and ALL of us fell asleep! IN FACT - the whole audience WAS asleep when I woke - now there's absurdity at its finest.

That had to be either 'Deep End of the Ocean' or 'A Thousand Acres.' Both were snoozefests for me.

 

[AngeloMichael]

Well I could go with "Open Range" as being the most boring movie I ever saw in a theater, but that would be too easy and I do think that "The Thin Red Line" beats it by an inch.

Gods! That movie was horrible to sit through jumping from one character's idiotic inner monologue to another's while no one was bother to explain just what exactly was going on in the movie.

I hated that film!!!

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Attack of the Killer Tomatos I
Attack of the killer Tomatos II
Attack of the killer Tomatos III

If you have not had the pleasure of complete boredom until you watch the trilogy.

I will add it is a great movie to rent if you do not want your date being interested in the movie.

Yes they are real movies, about tomatos that kill people. Not for the weak hearted only for the weak minded in horror movies.

 

[kellycummings]

Attack of the Killer Tomatos I
Attack of the killer Tomatos II
Attack of the killer Tomatos III

If you have not had the pleasure of complete boredom until you watch the trilogy.

I will add it is a great movie to rent if you do not want your date being interested in the movie.

Yes they are real movies, about tomatos that kill people. Not for the weak hearted only for the weak minded in horror movies.

I saw the first one and thought it was mildly amusing. Never saw the others. The first was a bit of a cult movie for a while. I almost have to like someone with the audacity to make a movie like that. I would love to have been there when they were pitching the idea to prospective investors.