Bonkers story idea, not sure if the site would be up for it

[justspitballing]

So, getting really excited about being a part of this site I came up with a bunch of story ideas. I kind of settled on two that I really want to do. The first is already submitted and hopefully will be approved in a day or two. It's a pretty light hearted masturbation story and I have no concerns about it being accepted.

My other story idea? Well, that's the problem you see. It's kind of bonkers to the point that it may not be fitting for this site.

What is it? Well, me being a fan of disturbing horror movies and seeing all the non-con stories on here got me thinking of the pure contrast of that. You wouldn't want a non-con story being real, it would be horrible, and if a character became aware of something like that being possible, what would be the result?

So in my idea this woman finds out she can read minds. When she does, she sees the thoughts as if they are real and if they are strong enough physically feels them. Every now and then she'll bump into a guy out in public that is thinking of sex fantasies of some woman they see. One time this fantasy is non-con based.

The woman, our hero, decides to mind her own business and ignore the sexual fantasy she sees, only to find out later that the woman that was fantasized about was assaulted by the man and very seriously harmed.

Our hero character feels horrible for kind of letting this happen and after becoming aware of other men who have like minded fantasies starts hunting these guys down and killing them off, one by one, kind of like the ending of Last House on the Left.

So ya, the story starts out as a non-con sexy mind read, but then slowly shifts to a blood filled revenge story.

There are two kind of obvious problems with this concept. Number one, the violence and the sex scenes will never mix, but I do plan to make the revenge stuff pretty violent(I want to call the story We Want Violence and the revenge stuff will be inspired by extreme horror movies) and this site may have a problem with that. As said, there wont be any violence in the sex fantasies, but the site may just not like violence at all.

Number two, the story will end up having this massive tone shift. The reader will start out thinking, non-con sex scene, okay, sure! And then it will shift into a revenge story. I can see that turning a lot of readers off. Like, I may have to put it actually in the none-erotic section because as the story goes the focus will be more and more on the horror content.

So, to bonkers of an idea?

 

[SimonDoom]

Will it be well received here? I don't know.

A few questions/thoughts:

1. You say the sex and violence won't mix. How is that possible if it's about sexual violence/nonconsent that causes injury?


2. What is the sex, apart from the violence? How is this story sexy? What is its erotic focus?

3. I think the story will be less well-received if the tone shifts mid-story. One way of doing this, maybe, would be to have parallel stories. One half is about how she uses her mind-reading abilities to track down noncon wrongdoers and bring them to justice. But the other half is how she uses it to get involved in noncon for her own sexual pleasure. That way you can sustain a genuinely sexy element throughout the story while also pursuing the revenge angle. You can also present an interesting contrast between OK non-con and non-OK non-con.

 

[ChasPHX]

Exciting idea with potential!

I like your idea. It's not too bonkers for the site that I've seen - but I'm just talking about the idea of course, not the execution.

I think SimonDoom's feedback in his point 3 is spot on. She even begins to seek out these mindreading experiences. Ostensibly, she wants to bring rapist brutes to justice. In the background, she's getting super turned on by what she sees/feels in her precog world. There's a Dexter feel to it that could really work. There was a bit of this in the series Mindhunter as well, and Hannibal.

It's quite an interesting twist to the "rules" here around noncon, where the precog character enjoys it even as the imagined victim does not. But the imagined victim never actually experiences it, because our hero takes out the perp before the crime takes place. Or something.

Do a one-off that leaves the door open to a series.

I think there's a more appropriate forum for this conversation called Story Ideas, where you might be able to get more feedback.

Keep us posted!

 

[justspitballing]

Thanks for the cool feed back. Yes, trying to even out the stuff instead of doing a massive tone shift will likely be the way to go. It kind of puts the main woman character more into the grey area, but I'm ok with that.

I didn't want to put this in story ideas because from my understanding you put ideas in there if you wanted others to write them, and no way for that! If this thing is happening, then I'm writing it.

 

[ChasPHX]

I didn't want to put this in story ideas because from my understanding you put ideas in there if you wanted others to write them, and no way for that! If this thing is happening, then I'm writing it.

Oh, is that true? Well then, never mind! As you were.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Go ahead and write it and see. Some of mine are “bonkers” so you’re in good company lol

 

[Voboy]

dooo iiiittttt...

I'd keep the description of what the rapist does to the victim very, very broad. I'd not even describe it; I think I'd imply it.

Even when she brushes into the guy, I'd simply have her shudder in revulsion at what he's thinking without describing it in depth.

"She shuddered, her asshole clenching involuntarily; even in her imagination, even in the most gonzo pornos she'd found years ago in her brother's browser history, she'd never even thought of something so vile. She pulled away from him, a rabbit fleeing from a shotgun blast, but she saw the man's twisting smile in her memory for a long time after."

Something like that. Then later, when she sees the news report of the attack, even the reporter looks shocked and subdued.

I'd do this both to avoid running afoul of the site, and because I think it's more dramatic. It also allows the reader some agency, which is always a good thing.

 

[justspitballing]

And ya, I'm doing this now.

I've decided it's more of a build up story. I've got the outline written up and most of the story is the main woman character fallowing around the maybe rapist(who I've made into the head of police) and witnessing his fantasies and deciding weather or not she should take action. So basically I've drawn out the investigation and shrunk down the revenge stuff. The story will end with her deciding and kind of becoming this weapon of justice, and the story is how she gets there.

I think this is the best cause it really does shrink down the violent, revenge elements and we get a lot more mind reading/non-con fantasies out of it, and I still get to do a whole meta commentary on a non-con story, which is why I find the story interesting in the first place.

And yep, I'll be posting the thing once it is good and done. Thanks for all the advise everyone!

 

[TarnishedPenny]

“Who know what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows...”

Cue maniacal laughter...

The problem with the violent non-con bits is skating around the fairly strict Lit standards. Making it a revenge story is easier.