bonjour, je recherche un peu d'aide avec un peu de français dans une histoire que j'écris

[Inkent]

Hi all, I'm after some help with a few lines of French within a story. My previous use of Google to translate a few lines prompted some feedback from across the channel, so I'd like to make sure it's right this time.

I have a scene where a young lady is talking to a man who is viewing a property but has started to look around it before she has arrived which has annoyed her.

Line 1

"Hello (or a more appropriate introduction) what do you think you are doing, this is private property."

The English character replies, trying to remember the phrase from his school lessons

Line 2

(English)"Erm, sorry, (followed by badly worded French) my name is Brandon Smith,

Line 3

"You may call me Camille, Mr. Smith"

And that's it.

Admittedly, not a great deals worth, but I like to do my best to make sure dialogue is true to the language and the manner in which it may be delivered. Happy to add your name as a credit when published

 

[histoiresdelle]

- Bonjour, puis-je vous demander ce que vous faites là ? Vous êtes sur une propriété privée.
- Erm, sorry, mon nom il est Brandon Smith (badly worded part)
- Vous pouvez m'appeler Camille, Mr. Smith

No need to credit me for that
I would avoid Google translate. Deepl delivers much better results.
Good luck with your story !

Kind regards

 

[Inkent]

From those school French lessons a long, long time ago - merci beaucoup!

INKENT