Body Language cheat sheet

[UsuallyPresent]

Off of Reddit, I ran across this cheat sheet for writing body language. Looks useful!

 

[NoJo]

I'm rubbing my hands together, licking my lips, fidgeting and grinning to read your next story

 

[TarnishedPenny]

My jaw is hanging open in awe of this excellent resource. Thanks.

 

[oggbashan]

I have had a problem with body language for years.

I am disabled because of Ankylosing spondylitis. I have no disks in my spine and many vertebrae are fused to the next ones. In an interview situation, I appear to be 'stiff and unbending' and therefore unreceptive to new ideas.

I appear 'stiff and unbending' because I am. But if an interviewer believes in the use of body language to assess someone, they will get the wrong impression of me because of my disability.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I have had a problem with body language for years.

I am disabled because of Ankylosing spondylitis. I have no disks in my spine and many vertebrae are fused to the next ones. In an interview situation, I appear to be 'stiff and unbending' and therefore unreceptive to new ideas.

I appear 'stiff and unbending' because I am. But if an interviewer believes in the use of body language to assess someone, they will get the wrong impression of me because of my disability.

Yep. This sheet describes stereotypical Western, able-bodied, neurotypical body language, and there are plenty of people who don't fit that stereotype.

I am autistic and people routinely misread my body language, based on cues such as those listed here. In several areas my behaviours are the reverse of what this sheet describes.

For instance, making eye contact is uncomfortable and distracting for me, which leads to a catch-22. If I'm dealing with somebody who relies on these stereotypes, and I want them to see me as attentive and honest, I need to put a lot of work into making the eye contact they're expecting... which then means that I'm not listening well or speaking my mind. The more I trust somebody, the less eye contact I'm likely to be making as we talk.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

See also deaf people being 'intimidating' because lip-reading is seen as staring too hard.

Handy sheet, though.

 

[Rustyoznail]

I saw the thread title and immediately thought of Sheldon Cooper from "The Big Bang Theory". He's looking at Penny while flicking through an app on his phone.

"Sarcasm? Nailed it..."

 

[TxRad]

When you only have one eye that works, a lot of people wonder why you are winking at them.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

I appear 'stiff and unbending' because I am. But if an interviewer believes in the use of body language to assess someone, they will get the wrong impression of me because of my disability.

Yep. This sheet describes stereotypical Western, able-bodied, neurotypical body language, and there are plenty of people who don't fit that stereotype.

I am autistic and people routinely misread my body language, based on cues such as those listed here. In several areas my behaviours are the reverse of what this sheet describes.

See also deaf people being 'intimidating' because lip-reading is seen as staring too hard.

When you only have one eye that works, a lot of people wonder why you are winking at them.

These are all really good points about not mistaking generalities for specifics. As someone who does do a lot of assessing people, and a lot of assessing people who are not thinking or expressing themselves verbally clearly, it's something I have to be aware of. Not only cultural differences (which do get talked about some), but individual differences that can't be chalked up to culture. I'll confess that some days I'm better at keeping individuality in mind than others. Though the hardest part is the first meeting, the first few interactions, and not putting too much stock into initial impressions.

I learned a long time ago that my initial impressions of people are usually meaningless; it's what I learn from someone by interacting with them repeatedly that tells me the most about them.

As a basic, "average" guide, that cheat sheet is fine. Especially if someone wants to describe body language more clearly, but didn't have the vocabulary for it.

But I've been sitting here thinking about what it would be like to try to accurately portray a character who doesn't react the "average" way...

 

[lovecraft68]

When you only have one eye that works, a lot of people wonder why you are winking at them.

Which eye? I'm legally blind in the left. We could stand side by side so we can see every body.

 

[lovecraft68]

These are all really good points about not mistaking generalities for specifics. As someone who does do a lot of assessing people, and a lot of assessing people who are not thinking or expressing themselves verbally clearly, it's something I have to be aware of. Not only cultural differences (which do get talked about some), but individual differences that can't be chalked up to culture. I'll confess that some days I'm better at keeping individuality in mind than others. Though the hardest part is the first meeting, the first few interactions, and not putting too much stock into initial impressions.

I learned a long time ago that my initial impressions of people are usually meaningless; it's what I learn from someone by interacting with them repeatedly that tells me the most about them.

As a basic, "average" guide, that cheat sheet is fine. Especially if someone wants to describe body language more clearly, but didn't have the vocabulary for it.

But I've been sitting here thinking about what it would be like to try to accurately portray a character who doesn't react the "average" way...

I like to people watch when I'm out and as in I watch the people, I don't try to read into their movements based on what I think they mean I just watch what they do and how they act, and focus on anything that seems to stand out and make them interesting. So in that case the 'average' wouldn't be anything that would really interest me.

 

[TxRad]

But I've been sitting here thinking about what it would be like to try to accurately portray a character who doesn't react the "average" way...

I've used it in a couple of stories for comic relief, shall we say.

Which eye? I'm legally blind in the left. We could stand side by side so we can see every body.

You're in luck, I'm blind in the right. If you remember Rumpled Foreskin, he was blind in the left. There is another lefty around here but I don't remember who off hand.

 

[Wilson Spalding]

...There is another lefty around here but I don't remember who off hand.

Which would be... the right hand, in this case?

 

[Wilson Spalding]

Great list!

Off of Reddit, I ran across this cheat sheet for writing body language. Looks useful!

Very useful!

Not always applicable, as noted above, but that makes the exceptions that much more interesting.

There's another thread that talks about the filler between the "good bits" in erotica and I'm hoping that author sees this thread. Even if a writer doesn't dip into the specifics listed, at least it makes them more aware of showing an action, rather telling.

When developing character, whether it's facial (no, the other kind of "facial") expression, gesture or posture, illustrating an action rather naming it draws in the reader, letting them project into it, perhaps discovering something and connecting more to the character.

Great share!

 

[UsuallyPresent]

You're in luck, I'm blind in the right. If you remember Rumpled Foreskin, he was blind in the left. There is another lefty around here but I don't remember who off hand.

There was a great scifi/fantasy novel that featured a shaman who found two champions - one an undercover cop, another a call service rep - who had both lost eyes. One, the cop, was the shaman's representative for finding the darkness in the light, and the call service rep who had received and given much kindness over the lines over the years, was his representation of the light in the darkness. Their foe was some sort of shapeshifting elemental evil darkness... wish I could remember the name of the book or the author.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Very useful!

Thanks, glad y'all have found it interesting. Agreed, these are white, neurotypical American responses. Other settings would definitely have different responses. Good catches!

It's always amazing to me how many ways we humans are both similar and different.