body confidence?

[LegsOpenedWide]

Just curious how others go about improving how they feel about their body? I'm not talking from a physical perspective but more so emotionally/mentally?

 

[beachbaby179]

The million dollar question. Absolutely.

 

[Kalamain]

I have body issues right now.

I wish I could lose a few pounds... I'm not big or anything but I seem to have a layer of fat I don't want... And I am going bald. *shrug*

That said....How to deal with it?
There is always exercise for weight issues.

If the confidence is something else (skin blemishes/scars) then there is make up that can help.
As to things like major physical issues then I'm not sure... Owning your disability may help. Maybe talking to a mental health professional would be a good idea.

But in there end there is a line in my sig that has proved right in 99% of cases....

Surround yourself with positive people and ignore those who are negative. Take any and all compliments and don't listen to those that point out flaws.

 

[BiTodd]

I have scars every where. They are a road map to my life.

 

[Anomaly1964]

How can it NOT be from a physical perspective? How you FEEL about yourself is what's on the INSIDE....

Now I suppose if you are not happy with your physical appearance it can have an affect on you emotionally...

Let's just call it out - MOST people are over weight because of poor diet and lack of exercise. YES...some people truly do have medical issues which exclude them from working out hard or having a diet that will help the lose weight - but - they are the MINORITY, not the norm...

Most people don't want to watch what they eat, or go to the gym, or go on a walk. We are not in good shape because we are LAZY...

And I'm sorry, people should dress SIZE appropriate. If you don't have the physique to pull a certain outfit off, PLEASE DON'T WEAR IT...

Get mad at me all you want for this post but I'm just saying it like it is...

 

[klippert]

I personally think there are several threads....that are body confidence....BBW, Curvy Appreciation, *Large Areolas...

* this Thread, in my eternal search for beautiful breast with large areolas. I've learned, large areolas can be one of the most depressing, and Self-conscious body parts... 100s of forums on Al's-inter-web with ladies discussions, of how 'this' body-type just kills them

 

[Kalamain]

I personally think there are several threads....that are body confidence....BBW, Curvy Appreciation, *Large Areolas...

After reading Klippert's post above this shows one of the most powerful ways to deal with body image issues....

BBW.....

Big Beautiful Women.
Some people see them as fat, ugly layabouts.... Others see them as utter Goddesses with bodies that can make a man shiver as they pass by.

QUOTE
"Big Beautiful Woman" (commonly abbreviated as BBW) is a euphemism for an overweight woman and is frequently used in the context of fat fetishism.[1][2] The terms "Big Beautiful Women" and "BBW" were coined by Carole Shaw in 1979, when she launched BBW Magazine, a fashion and lifestyle magazine for "plus-size" women.[3]

Taken from wikipedia

Now THAT is how you own a so called 'Body issue'

 

[tammyw]

I can only speak for myself, but I think all women struggle with issues surrounding body image at some point in their lives. Even though my husband is the best lover I have ever had and always finds ways to say just the right things, I still don't believe him when he tells me I look good in what I am wearing sometimes. His reassurances help me, but at the end of the day, I see a bunch of areas that I need to work on or could be more toned.

 

[Kalamain]

I can only speak for myself, but I think all women struggle with issues surrounding body image at some point in their lives.

Men too.
Trust me on this. We just hide it better.

 

[SpecialKay62]

For me...

I have chosen to be happy with the body I have, imperfectly perfect as it is. I make that choice every day. I rest, I get some exercise, I eat reasonably well. Realizing I'm not perfect, that nobody is perfect, I offer gratitude to the Universe for waking up another day in this body. If you consider all the things a body can do, it's an absolute miracle. What I'm trying to say is happiness is a choice and it must come from inside you. It's not external and it's not based on another person's opinion of you.

 

[NorthernGinger]

I probably should have body issues.

I have had two major surgeries, one which left me missing chunks out of my abdomen where muscle ought to be. This one has left me unable to do much to strengthen my core which has resulted in a bit of excess around the middle (and by around, I mean the back, too).

I used to hide at the beach, make sure I covered up.

But you know what I decided to do one day?

Tell myself that my scar is a battle wound. I jousted with a rhino, and I may look like someone took an axe to me, but you should SEE the rhino.

I decided to own it. It's my experience and I overcame some serious challenges to wear this body with pride.

Since I went back to bikinis and got my confidence back, the response is pretty clear. If you FEEL sexy, you ARE sexy.

We need to embrace our bodies. They may be roadmaps of a life lived, but that's our own history. And if you have to tell yourself a little humorous story (like I did), get to thinking one up.

I have never judged a partner on his or her nipples. Never been turned off by the shape of a cock. Never seen a scar and thought "oh dear, maybe we should put our clothes back on".

Bet most of us have never had those thoughts. And if we haven't, why do we expect others to judge us so harshly?

The very coolest thing my partner ever did... And he may not even know it... Is kiss my scars. He set me fully free when he did that. Proved what I had been trying to believe in on my own.

We carry enough worries around with us. Let's try to be comfortable in our own skin. It's liberating as well as sexy.

 

[SpecialKay62]

^

Beautiful, Ginger!!

 

[Kalamain]

We carry enough worries around with us. Let's try to be comfortable in our own skin. It's liberating as well as sexy.

Awesome.

*Pom Poms*

 

[sethp]

Just curious how others go about improving how they feel about their body? I'm not talking from a physical perspective but more so emotionally/mentally?

Best way I know. PM me a pic of your boobs and I'll tell you how awesome they are!

 

[policywank]

Also helps to know that the definition of beauty portrayed in pop culture is actually quite inaccurate.

Runway models are picked by gay guys (sorry to the LGBT crowd but a gay guy isn't the best judge of attractive women) who want size zeros. It isn't just an unrealistic ideal......it isn't even what heterosexual men want.

Trust me hetero men want real women. They aren't just being nice when they say they like curvy women.

And one of the other posters hit it bang on with how you carry yourself and what you believe. Men, especially mature ones, aren't just simpletons who can't see past your boobs. A women with the most unbelievable boobs becomes unattractive by the simple act of rolling her shoulders to make them less prominent. And a woman with an average body who owns it can be drop dead sexy.

Most people are accepting just like you are - the fact that the obnoxious or opinionated ones are louder doesn't mean they represent the majority.

When it comes to attracting men......they have been inundated with culture that tells them their urges are dirty and women who are skittish and standoffish for fear they might end up actually seeing a cock. Let them know you want them and have desire for them and they'll forget the bitchy prom queen who thinks it is fun to make them jump through hoops in two seconds flat. You don't have to be a slut - just a person who doesn't make them feel bad for who they are.

 

[fuzzysaber57]

personally i think there is nothing nicer than a real body lumps bumps and all. i am not fond of the anemic almost wasted look that has become the standard for beauty i think rubens had it right in his paintings and there is nothing more erotic and intimate than sharing your body with someone

 

[TwistedJenn]

I have to say, I always tell my friends that hanging out on Lit is a great confidence booster. Like Klippert said there are sooo many different threads on here. You learn that there is something for everyone and something you might find unattractive about yourself my be beautiful to someone else. I always thought my boobs were too big(to be honest I still wish for smaller ones but that is only so I can wear cute tops without having to have a bra lol) but now I just embrace what I have. Another thing is I always wear jeans, it's just a tom boy thing I've always done because I wasn't a fan of my legs or butt. This summer I just decided to give shorts a try and I have probably only worn jeans a handful of times now. In fact I even got a rockin thigh tattoo that I love showing off. I have to say I have had sooo many compliments about my legs and it's encouraged me so much. I'm 28 and I'm still learning to love my body, it's a process but I'm getting better everyday. Just a FYI the more confident you are the more attractive you are to other people. You have to love yourself first!

 

[shewantsmore]

We all have issues about our body and how we see ourselves,doubt if many people look in the mirror and always like what they see,i know i dont but the hardest thing is dealing with it

 

[AlwaysTooWet]

How can it NOT be from a physical perspective? How you FEEL about yourself is what's on the INSIDE....

Now I suppose if you are not happy with your physical appearance it can have an affect on you emotionally...

Let's just call it out - MOST people are over weight because of poor diet and lack of exercise. YES...some people truly do have medical issues which exclude them from working out hard or having a diet that will help the lose weight - but - they are the MINORITY, not the norm...

Most people don't want to watch what they eat, or go to the gym, or go on a walk. We are not in good shape because we are LAZY...

And I'm sorry, people should dress SIZE appropriate. If you don't have the physique to pull a certain outfit off, PLEASE DON'T WEAR IT...

Get mad at me all you want for this post but I'm just saying it like it is...

You're assuming the opening poster isn't happy with their body because of their weight when that may not be the case at all. There can be several reasons why one may struggle with body image, that may or may not have to do with weight. And even if it is weight related, losing weight doesn't necessarily magically make you feel okay about how you look.

This is an area I really really struggle in. I've lost a lot of weight the last year or two, in excess of 40kgs, and even though my husband family and friends all tell me how great I look I really struggle to believe it. Whilst I used to be bothered by weight, I'm now bothered by other things about my body that seem more noticeable now I'm not hiding behind my weight. People are also constantly commenting on how I look now, which in one sense is lovely and very encouraging, but in the other it's difficult because I'm still not happy with how I look. Shop assistants are always telling me I'm a funny shape when trying on clothes (small waist/big boobs) and what should have maybe once been a compliment is now an insecurity.

I also struggle greatly with scars. Some from many surgeries and some from the hands of another. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to accept these. They're ugly and they make me feel ugly.

Body acceptance is very difficult. I really wish I could be okay with how I look and feel. One day ....

 

[southern_gal]

Just curious how others go about improving how they feel about their body? I'm not talking from a physical perspective but more so emotionally/mentally?

I removed every single mirror in my house. I am now convinced that I am the hottest, sexiest, most awe inspiring woman.............in my house.

 

[Caron4Flash]

I removed every single mirror in my house. I am now convinced that I am the hottest, sexiest, most awe inspiring woman.............in my house.[/QUOTE

you are very sexy

 

[southern_gal]

You are so sweet. I'll mail the check. I promise.

 

[HoldYouDown]

For me, it has to involve exercise and good diet. I know that's physical, but simply telling myself I look good doesn't make it so. It's not just about looking good but feeling good and living well. Health matters - to me, anyway.

***EDIT - though mental exercises like psycho-cybernetics can go a long way toward getting myself into the positive, feel-good, and exercising mind set. It's all connected. Use your brain to power your body.

 

[jonpatato]

curvy

Also helps to know that the definition of beauty portrayed in pop culture is actually quite inaccurate.

Runway models are picked by gay guys (sorry to the LGBT crowd but a gay guy isn't the best judge of attractive women) who want size zeros. It isn't just an unrealistic ideal......it isn't even what heterosexual men want.

Trust me hetero men want real women. They aren't just being nice when they say they like curvy women.

And one of the other posters hit it bang on with how you carry yourself and what you believe. Men, especially mature ones, aren't just simpletons who can't see past your boobs. A women with the most unbelievable boobs becomes unattractive by the simple act of rolling her shoulders to make them less prominent. And a woman with an average body who owns it can be drop dead sexy.

Most people are accepting just like you are - the fact that the obnoxious or opinionated ones are louder doesn't mean they represent the majority.

When it comes to attracting men......they have been inundated with culture that tells them their urges are dirty and women who are skittish and standoffish for fear they might end up actually seeing a cock. Let them know you want them and have desire for them and they'll forget the bitchy prom queen who thinks it is fun to make them jump through hoops in two seconds flat. You don't have to be a slut - just a person who doesn't make them feel bad for who they are.

I have to agree. It is bad, I was once ridiculed at a place I worked at because I made a statement about not liking bony women and liked women with meat on there bones. One guy made a smart remark about so everyone jumped on his side. But in private most men told me I was right and they liked curvy women too.
I think it is sad that a large portion of our society goes along with the status quo.

 

[jakereeder22]

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