Blunt Language In Literary fiction

[Tarakan]

Hi Everyone,

I am trying to pull together a plot driven, literary fiction story concerning vampires, and high society. I am pondering whether I should be using words like 'cock' or 'pussy' during graphic sex scenes. Maybe 'manhood', 'phallus' are better? Anyone got any thoughts...

He moved her to the rim of the pool and forced her to bend, pressing her stomach hard against the tiles, her feet on tiptoe forcing her buttocks high and inviting. He splayed them with his hands and drove forward, parting her lips like two pieces of wet silk. Groaning, she arched her back to accommodate him. Inch by inch she opened and closed around his bloated head, the veined and ridged hardness a gratifying roughness inside her. His hands pawed over her thighs, pulling at her suspenders and driving deeper until his testiclesballs slapped against her inner thighs and the base of his phalluscock roughed her clitoris forcing breath from her like steam from a boiling kettle.

Tarakan

 

[NotWise]

Hi Everyone,

I am trying to pull together a plot driven, literary fiction story concerning vampires, and high society. I am pondering whether I should be using words like 'cock' or 'pussy' during graphic sex scenes. Maybe 'manhood', 'phallus' are better? Anyone got any thoughts...

He moved her to the rim of the pool and forced her to bend, pressing her stomach hard against the tiles, her feet on tiptoe forcing her buttocks high and inviting. He splayed them with his hands and drove forward, parting her lips like two pieces of wet silk. Groaning, she arched her back to accommodate him. Inch by inch she opened and closed around his bloated head, the veined and ridged hardness a gratifying roughness inside her. His hands pawed over her thighs, pulling at her suspenders and driving deeper until his testiclesballs slapped against her inner thighs and the base of his phalluscock roughed her clitoris forcing breath from her like steam from a boiling kettle.

Tarakan

Write it the way you want to write it. I have no problem with your example except for the "bloated head" reference. That isn't a pretty picture, even if you do clarify which head you're talking about. I suppose you mean the head of his cock, but who knows? Maybe he's diving in head-first.

 

[Tarakan]

Good point - head of his cock....

 

[EvelynEden]

Beautifully written! I like both, but I think my preference (at least for my own work) is perhaps the more vulgar terms. Especially when written so beautifully, it's like adding that grit to a story, a little roughness. The word pussy always makes me shudder though, I just don't like it and try really hard not to use it myself, but that is completely my own hang-up so you can disregard that. I know everyone else likes it. Goodluck

 

[Javahead]

Beautifully written! I like both, but I think my preference (at least for my own work) is perhaps the more vulgar terms. Especially when written so beautifully, it's like adding that grit to a story, a little roughness. The word pussy always makes me shudder though, I just don't like it and try really hard not to use it myself, but that is completely my own hang-up so you can disregard that. I know everyone else likes it. Goodluck

Odd, that. M’lady doesn’t mind “pussy” in a story but hates all the other common vulgarisms.

It might be interesting to do a poll to find which words are most loved or hated.

 

[EvelynEden]

Odd, that. M’lady doesn’t mind “pussy” in a story but hates all the other common vulgarisms.

It might be interesting to do a poll to find which words are most loved or hated.

Ahh, that is interesting! I'm actually curious now that you mention it. It would love to see a poll like that.

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

I agree with NotWise. I don’t think there’s any reason to write anything except what grammatically makes sense and turns you on. The readership on Literotica is huge and mostly anonymous; if your story is interesting and well-written, it will find its audience.

A poll in AH won’t give you enough interaction to know anything except the stylistic preferences of a small handful of other writers (and, most likely, the preferences about their own works which won’t end up having much impact on yours).

Best of luck with your story!

 

[Tarakan]

Thanks everyone....I like the idea of going with what I think suits the piece. Definitely no 'pussy, wang or rod! I might go with penis, but not vagina....

If anyone wants to help me edit this story, pm me!

Thanks again to everyone for contributing.

Tarakan

 

[NotWise]

Odd, that. M’lady doesn’t mind “pussy” in a story but hates all the other common vulgarisms.

It might be interesting to do a poll to find which words are most loved or hated.

I've found at least two blogs on the internet in which women talk about their word preferences. I saw no consensus.

 

[KeithD]

Keep one style. 'Buttocks'; 'Wet silk'; ... ?

For the narrative, yes, but an occasional well-placed crude/blunt word thrown in there can snap the reader into the action as well. As far as character dialogue, their separate language use is one way of differentiating and defining character. It's perfectly fine for one character to be more direct/blunt/crude than another one in dialogue. So, your story might legitimately have three or four different styles running inside it.

It also, referencing the discussion thread that appears here twice a month, might legitimately--and effectively--have a character who thinks and speaks in terms of measurements. I did that in one of my recent 750-word submissions just to make that point--that there are people/characters who think and speak in those terms, even if they have no precise idea what those specific measurements mean/look like.

 

[GuessImJamie]

I've found at least two blogs on the internet in which women talk about their word preferences. I saw no consensus.

At least a couple stories we have posted here each have both of these (paraphrased) comments.

"I really liked the way you use 'proper terminology' in describing sex."

"This is porn, not literature, not a doctor's office."

It's not just a story it's also a Rorschach test.