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Blow Jobs pay off!

Purrde Flower said:
I got a final interview tomorrow! 2200 a month. BTW.. i was just kidding about the BJ :D :p
Click to expand...

Don't ever do that again young lady, or a spanking will come your way.:p

Carl

ps Good for you
 
Quite the handsome potential paycheck there. Good luck. :)

And keep off your knees!
 
So that we stay in the subjet of the thread:

Blowjob etiquette (written by a woman)


1. First and foremost, we're not obligated to do it.

2. Extension to #1, so, if you DO get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video, it's NOT standard practice to cum on someone's face.

4. Extension to #3, no, I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to #5, don't push on top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. Besides, you REALLY want puke on your ####?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get. It's NEVER ok to fart.

8. Having my period does not mean it's "hummer week". Get it through your head: I'm bloated and I feel like ####, so NO, I don't feel particular obligated to blow you. You just can't have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8, "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls. If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to stop to remove a public hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've "wrecked" it for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately after is HIGHLY inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment. Review #2 above about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't give a #### about the protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It's not appropriate to sympathize OR brag.

16. Just because it's "awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".
 
DéjàNu said:
So that we stay in the subjet of the thread:

Blowjob etiquette (written by a woman)


1. First and foremost, we're not obligated to do it.

2. Extension to #1, so, if you DO get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video, it's NOT standard practice to cum on someone's face.

4. Extension to #3, no, I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to #5, don't push on top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. Besides, you REALLY want puke on your ####?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get. It's NEVER ok to fart.

8. Having my period does not mean it's "hummer week". Get it through your head: I'm bloated and I feel like ####, so NO, I don't feel particular obligated to blow you. You just can't have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8, "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls. If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to stop to remove a public hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've "wrecked" it for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately after is HIGHLY inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment. Review #2 above about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't give a #### about the protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It's not appropriate to sympathize OR brag.

16. Just because it's "awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".
Click to expand...

LOL!

Of course I vehemently disagree with point #1.
 
ok Glam I will play fair, this is the man's reply to woman's BJ Etiquette...

1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.

3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.

5. If you ever tell me what to say and not to say to my friends again, you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in your teeth... because you won't have any.

6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth and got the dick off your breath we would stick around afterward.

7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning.

8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.

9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country.

10. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth

11. Play with the balls

12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

13. Blowjobs are the only reason we spend time with you instead of our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.

14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.

15. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old and fat (and you will) and looking for some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".

16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?


:D
 
DéjàNu said:
ok Glam I will play fair, this is the man's reply to woman's BJ Etiquette...

1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.

3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.

5. If you ever tell me what to say and not to say to my friends again, you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in your teeth... because you won't have any.

6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth and got the dick off your breath we would stick around afterward.

7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning.

8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.

9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country.

10. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth

11. Play with the balls

12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

13. Blowjobs are the only reason we spend time with you instead of our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.

14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.

15. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old and fat (and you will) and looking for some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".

16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?


:D
Click to expand...

Man that's harsh.

Oh and get me another Bud before you come over here to suck my dick.
 
KICKASS! Congrats, Purrde!! I really really hope you get it! Is it a waitress gig? Man...make it someplace with a smoking section so I can come and annoy the hell outta you, ok? *grin*
 
Etiquette for Women:

1. Yes. The hair in the teeth thing.

2. Keep your legs open! (I don't care how good it feels, I have to breathe. Besides, it's hard to suckle when you close them...)

3. You can push on my head all you like. Actually, I kinda like that.

4. Same goes for pulling hair. Although, that would be counter-productive.

5. The little bits of toilet paper thing is not good...

6. Try not to move around too much... it's harder than it looks.

7. Be patient... it's harder than it looks...

8. Tell me if I'm doing it wrong... it's harder than it looks...

9. And personally, I love the way you taste...

10. Oh, yeah, and did I mention it's harder than it looks? (Your anatomy is a bit more complicated than ours, ladies...)
 
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