sb2009
Really Wierd Chick
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2009
- Posts
- 1,401
Over the past year there have been a lot, a LOT of changes in my marriage. Being more open about our kinky activities, his retirement from the Army and transition to civilian life, and him moving to take a new job. Add to that, we have been talking talking and talking more about opening up the relationship and have gone through various levels of that.
I know all these things are huge adjustments, and there are a million bumps along the road, etc. I read so much, thought so much and analyzed so much about jealousy that I thought I had it down. But a type of jealousy I never thought I would have has reared its ugly green head – I’m jealous of him. He’s morphed into this cool guy who makes friends much easier than he ever did, and talks passionately about something that has nothing to do with fixing machines or xbox games or beating me at scrabble.
It’s totally alien to me. I was the one who sort of “humanized” him to his co workers, always. They would be intimidated by his abrupt way of speaking and his “hurry up, spit it out, we are wasting time here” way of holding meetings, etc. But when I would attend a work function, holiday party, etc people always commented on how chatty, friendly, warm I was and how they saw a different side of him with me. He does tend to be more lighthearted when with me and the kids, he’s not focused on work, etc.
But now, he’s this whole cool person *without me.* And his hair is really sexy now ;-) I never saw it other than in military haircuts, so this guy with awesome hair is looking at me and I’m trying to reconcile the two.
We talked about this a lot, in fact, I was so surprised I probably talked about it too much. It wasn’t a “oh he’s too cool for me, he’ll dump me” feeling, it was more of a “OMG who is this guy?”
And yes, it was surprising that he had lots of people who wanted to play with him as soon as he got involved with the local people. I mean, the times when we went to the Crucible, the only conversations we had with people were short and it seemed like the ice would never break in that area. But it's a totally different type of group there and he is involved and enjoying himself, not just with play but with helping do some remodeling of the club, etc.
I won't go into detail about my very, um, un-intentional public humiliation scene when I entered myself in the Auction at the Black Rose holiday party last weekend...let's just say, thank god my husband had some of the play money on hand so he could at least bid on me. Not thinking about doing any auction type thing any time soon! eeek.
Does this compare at all to any other experiences?
I know all these things are huge adjustments, and there are a million bumps along the road, etc. I read so much, thought so much and analyzed so much about jealousy that I thought I had it down. But a type of jealousy I never thought I would have has reared its ugly green head – I’m jealous of him. He’s morphed into this cool guy who makes friends much easier than he ever did, and talks passionately about something that has nothing to do with fixing machines or xbox games or beating me at scrabble.
It’s totally alien to me. I was the one who sort of “humanized” him to his co workers, always. They would be intimidated by his abrupt way of speaking and his “hurry up, spit it out, we are wasting time here” way of holding meetings, etc. But when I would attend a work function, holiday party, etc people always commented on how chatty, friendly, warm I was and how they saw a different side of him with me. He does tend to be more lighthearted when with me and the kids, he’s not focused on work, etc.
But now, he’s this whole cool person *without me.* And his hair is really sexy now ;-) I never saw it other than in military haircuts, so this guy with awesome hair is looking at me and I’m trying to reconcile the two.
We talked about this a lot, in fact, I was so surprised I probably talked about it too much. It wasn’t a “oh he’s too cool for me, he’ll dump me” feeling, it was more of a “OMG who is this guy?”
And yes, it was surprising that he had lots of people who wanted to play with him as soon as he got involved with the local people. I mean, the times when we went to the Crucible, the only conversations we had with people were short and it seemed like the ice would never break in that area. But it's a totally different type of group there and he is involved and enjoying himself, not just with play but with helping do some remodeling of the club, etc.
I won't go into detail about my very, um, un-intentional public humiliation scene when I entered myself in the Auction at the Black Rose holiday party last weekend...let's just say, thank god my husband had some of the play money on hand so he could at least bid on me. Not thinking about doing any auction type thing any time soon! eeek.
Does this compare at all to any other experiences?
