Blankety-Blank Men!

[Blackbich]

Maybe the guys can help me on this one.

This guy and I have been 'flirting' back and forth for about a year or so.

I finally get the nerve to ask him to lunch. I explain that it doesn't have to be a gf/bf or 'date' thing - just friends which he seemed happy about. He agreed, told me about his schedule changes and we would have to do it on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday. We do some more flirting then I go back to work after giving him my number to call.

So why hasn't he called? I know, I know...women do this to men and I guess turnabout is fair play but this happens to me all the time. Actually, not the asking men out because he's the first one I've ever asked (long story). What's the deal with the 'I'm interested until I know you're interested' game that men seem to play - a lot. Is it testerone? Is it ego? What's the deal? Or was he just being nice and trying not to hurt my feelings?

I guess I just don't get it - I don't take a guys number if I'm not interested unless he's insistent. He is then informed that there's a 99.9% probability that I will not call.

<sigh>

I knew I should have asked to be a lesbian this time around.

 

[medjay]

Consider the fact that maybe something came up or he just forgot. Guys can be stupid that way. Especially since it was a no pressure, "just friends" scenario.

Don't be afriad to call him up and ask, "What the fuck?" It's not like you just met him yesterday.

 

[Tantanah]

He might have lost the number.

 

[medjay]

Or he might be thinking that it's perfectly okay to call you at the last minute the same way he might do with all his other "friends". The weekend isn't over yet.

 

[Blackbich]

Thanks you guys - I'm obviously overreacting. Past experience - yadda, yadda. I just needed to be reminded that it was about more than me.

If I don't hear from him this weekend, I'll ask him what happened next time I see him.

Thanks again...

 

[Tantanah]

Or he might be thinking that it's perfectly okay to call you at the last minute the same way he might do with all his other "friends". The weekend isn't over yet.

medjay your homies are very cool.

 

[medjay]

I trained all of them myself!

 

[Tantanah]

I trained all of them myself!

cool

 

[Mischka]

I finally get the nerve to ask him to lunch. I explain that it doesn't have to be a gf/bf or 'date' thing - just friends which he seemed happy about.

I'm confused. Do you want to date this guy, or do you just want to be his friend? If you had to work up the nerve to ask him out, it sounds like you are interested in him. Why then downplay it in the next breath?

I had a friend that displayed similar behavior. She was gorgeous, smart, intelligent, and funny, but she had the worst luck with guys. She approached every potential relationship like that - waivering on the meaning, openly questioning what they were doing, shying away, ramping up, and then shying away again. The guys were confused as hell, and all of them ended up ignoring her. Too much trouble.

If you really like this guy, and he doesn't call this weekend, give it another shot this upcoming week. Tell him that you're sorry for the mixed signals, and that you fumbled your first attempt to ask a guy out on a date (maybe explain that you can now understand why guys get so nervous). Then ask him out on a real date, for a set day, time, and place. It can still be a lunch date, but make it a real commitment.