Bizarre Solutions to Global Problems

[LordMithras]

'Tis a game. Come up with the most extreme and outlandish ideas to resolve the world's troubles, like war, hunger, pollution, crime, etc.

If you can actually get two or three people to agree with you, you can pick the next problem to "solve".

Blame me and my morbid Irish humour.

I'll pick the first one. War. Plain and simple. How to end war once and for all. Not surprisingly, 'tis the hardest one of all.

 

[LordMithras]

I'll go first. My solution is simple, extreme, and the oldest known to mankind, but it has never succeeded yet, so it is quite outlandish. Conquer the world by force. A straightforward, lifelong war of aggression and expansion aimed at truly fighting the war to end all wars. If all nations were subjugated by someone, there wouldn't be wars anymore, or would there? I leave room for the obvious problem with my solution: constant civil unrest or nationalistic uprisings.

 

[Varian P]

'Tis a game. Come up with the most extreme and outlandish ideas to resolve the world's troubles, like war, hunger, pollution, crime, etc.

If you can actually get two or three people to agree with you, you can pick the next problem to "solve".

Blame me and my morbid Irish humour.

I'll pick the first one. War. Plain and simple. How to end war once and for all. Not surprisingly, 'tis the hardest one of all.

I'm afraid your total conquest solution will never work, because there would always be wars for liberation.

The only way to end war is to end mankind, like Mulder did in the episode of the X-Files when he found the genie and made his wish for peace on earth.

 

[LordMithras]

I'm afraid your total conquest solution will never work, because there would always be wars for liberation.

The only way to end war is to end mankind, like Mulder did in the episode of the X-Files when he found the genie and made his wish for peace on earth.

Point taken on that one. I even alluded to the wars of liberation, as you might note.

Of course, your extreme solution would work, I must admit. It would make world peace pointless, but it would work.

 

[TE999]

Point taken on that one. I even alluded to the wars of liberation, as you might note.

Of course, your extreme solution would work, I must admit. It would make world peace pointless, but it would work.

Dead folks are quiet all the time. Peace on earth.

 

[LordMithras]

So, Varian wins round one. He or she gets to pick the next problem to solve.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Quick, extreme cure for war...

The ruler/leader or whoever want's to start the war must himself fight the oppositions finest warrior on a deserted island. No weapons, just what's on the island.

The oversight committee will be the rulers/leaders of the other countries. Not representatives but the actual rulers/leaders. And they have to sit in committee until the one or the other on the island is vanquished.

 

[LordMithras]

Quick, extreme cure for war...

The ruler/leader or whoever want's to start the war must himself fight the oppositions finest warrior on a deserted island. No weapons, just what's on the island.

The oversight committee will be the rulers/leaders of the other countries. Not representatives but the actual rulers/leaders. And they have to sit in committee until the one or the other on the island is vanquished.

"Imagine a king who fights his own battles. Wouldn't that be a sight?"

Brad Pitt had a great line in that film, Troy.

 

[Varian P]

So, Varian wins round one. He or she gets to pick the next problem to solve.

Righto.

How could poverty be ended? Not individual poverty, where a few go homeless in a prosperous society, but rather the endemic poverty where a large percentage of the population of entire countries or regions struggle for the barest necessities?

 

[LordMithras]

My weird solution is not that original. Just move people from country A to country B, where more resources are available. En masse. Say you have a million Congolese. Put them in a vastly underpopulated country and give them tracts of reclaimed land that used to be marshland. It shouldn't take long for them to farm their way out of poverty, right? They won't be rich, but they wouldn't be starving, either.

 

[Carnevil9]

I'll go first. My solution is simple, extreme, and the oldest known to mankind, but it has never succeeded yet, so it is quite outlandish. Conquer the world by force. A straightforward, lifelong war of aggression and expansion aimed at truly fighting the war to end all wars. If all nations were subjugated by someone, there wouldn't be wars anymore, or would there? I leave room for the obvious problem with my solution: constant civil unrest or nationalistic uprisings.

Actually, this has been implemented, and it has succeeded. It was called the "Pax Romana" and was implemented by the Roman Empire. It gave the world about a thousand years of peace under the benevolent iron fist of the Roman Emperors.

Of course, the conundrum remained, do you prefer peace, or freedom? As Heinlein pointed out, you can never count on having both at the same time.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I agree. Conquer the bastards and let the soldiers have the women and wealth.

 

[oggbashan]

Abolish war?

Simple - break the world's superpowers USA, Russia and China into small units all competing with each other with no central government or authority.

No small state unit would have the might to project power on a world scale.

Who would be afraid of Texas' Navy when it is competing with Florida and California?

Og

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

OGG

Florida had a navy in 1816. It preyed upon Spanish commerce until the US Navy intervened.

The Confederate States had a formidable navy during much of our Civil War.

 

[oggbashan]

OGG

Florida had a navy in 1816. It preyed upon Spanish commerce until the US Navy intervened.

The Confederate States had a formidable navy during much of our Civil War.

Everybody preyed on Spanish commerce.

The Confederate States, except for the British-built Alabama, couldn't project power any distance from their coastline.

Og

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

OGG

Check out the SHENANDOAH, FLORIDA, and TALLAHASSEE. They made life hell for insurance companies.

 

[oggbashan]

Even the Confederate Navy (which doesn't fit with my suggestion of a single state armed force anyway) would have blanched at the thought of invading Iraq, Afghanistan or ejecting Russia from the Black Sea state of Georgia.

Og

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

OGG

Like the US Navy was nuthin much.

 

[scheherazade_79]

War Solution - Replace all male world leaders with women. There might be a bit of bickering at certain times of the month, but all in all I think it would make the world a far more peaceful place.

 

[rgraham666]

Tell that to Golda Meir, Indira Ghandi, Catherine The Great or Elizabeth I.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Tell that to Golda Meir, Indira Ghandi, Catherine The Great or Elizabeth I.

Rob, you're an absolute bugger sometimes, but I still love you

 

[rgraham666]

Love you too, beautiful.

 

[gauchecritic]

Tell that to Golda Meir, Indira Ghandi, Catherine The Great or Elizabeth I.

You forgot The Thatch. (Admittedly she mostly made war on the working classes.)

 

[DeeZire]

Righto.

How could poverty be ended? Not individual poverty, where a few go homeless in a prosperous society, but rather the endemic poverty where a large percentage of the population of entire countries or regions struggle for the barest necessities?

International Food Stamps, paid for by an international tax on international corporations. World problems require world solutions. I read somewhere that there is enough food being produced to feed the entire world's population, but it just isn't getting distributed properly.

Potable water appears to be a looming problem, tied to population growth and pollution. How would you control that? Perhaps by limiting international food stamps to families of four, so that having more than two children wouldn't up the food stamp ration. At some point, people need to realize that exponential population growth is not sustainable on a planet with finite resources.

 

[only_more_so]

Righto.

How could poverty be ended? Not individual poverty, where a few go homeless in a prosperous society, but rather the endemic poverty where a large percentage of the population of entire countries or regions struggle for the barest necessities?

The same solution for ending war works for ending poverty: The extinction of mankind. Seriously, if there is no one, then no one is poor. Although it might work better just to extinct the impoverished.

Someone once said, "There is no problem that can't be solved by the proper placement of sufficient explosives."