Bisexuality

[AnotherCatullus]

Lit, like the rest of the world, seems to be awash with bi women. Not so many bi men though. I'm always envious of bi women, that they have this whole world of experience that the rest of us don't get. So anyway, I've yet to meet a man that I had any attraction to. Does anyone have experience of learning to be bi, in the absence of any prior inclination? Can it be done, and is it worth it?

 

[bobsgirl]

Is it in vogue to be bi? Gee, I always find these things out too late...

In all seriousness, I'm very curious as to why you want to "learn" to be bi. I suppose you could learn to go through the motions of having sexual contact with both sexes, but if you aren't wired bi, then I doubt you'd get a lot of satisfaction from it. The fact that you haven't had any attraction to a man ought to tell you something. (I assume, from your post that you're a man.)

 

[AnotherCatullus]

There's a form of experience out there that could be fulfilling. What you say might be right. It may just be a matter of not being wired and there's an end to it. But it's also possible that what I read as lack of instinctual attraction is actually something that I've had beaten into me by culture. The thread is moer about finding out what people's experiences are, rather than saying "I want to be bi".

 

[bobsgirl]

There's a form of experience out there that could be fulfilling. What you say might be right. It may just be a matter of not being wired and there's an end to it. But it's also possible that what I read as lack of instinctual attraction is actually something that I've had beaten into me by culture. The thread is moer about finding out what people's experiences are, rather than saying "I want to be bi".

In my own experience, I have never had a sexual encounter with another woman. I have been captivated by, had crushes on certain women, but not for many years. I won't say never ever, but it's highly unlikely that I would ever become involved with a woman, first because I am married, and I won't cheat, but also because the interest just isn't there.

Do I wonder what it would be like? Sure, after all who better knows how a woman's body works than another woman? But it's not something I'm interested in in RL.

 

[kinkybrat]

*IMO* I think it can be *learned* or adjusted to.


I know i have been bi pretty much since i was young.


My husband is now thinking he may be bi or bicurious and is willing to experiment to be sure.


If you aren't totally sure(and it takes alot to look inside yourself and really see it sometimes) .....you need to decide if it's worth it to you to experiment with it and see how you like it or not.

 

[AnotherCatullus]

In general, there's an intimacy between women that there isn't between men. When you have a lover, even just a temporary one, a big part of the experience is the intimacy that comes from physical contact - not just sexual, but sleeping together, waking up together, talking close. I've found that the diversity of experiences like that I've had with women have been hugely enriching. I'm at least a little curious whether the enrichment could be furthered with men.

Still I'm not for jumping in feet first. I'm not going to hang out in gay bars jsut to experiment. I guess I'm not yet "bi-curious", more bi-curious-curious".

 

[ReadyOne]

I was raised traditionally "macho male".

After a bit of "deprogramming" (or consciousness raising) by an old gf I realize that "bi" is the vast middle of a scale between "exclusively same" and "exclusively opposite", and that almost none is truly stuck at one end or the other.

She made me think about where I was on the scale and I concluded there was no reason (other than past learning) why I was not somewhere in the middle. After that, it just took the right guy during a three-some to make theory into practice.

I'm definitely closer to the "same" side than to the middle, but I can enjoy an encounter with another guy. I don't normally seek it; it occasionally happens along with other things.

But there have been a couple of times with guys whom I know and trust and whom have a similar outlook to mine and it was a pleasant experience.

 

[AnotherCatullus]

After a bit of "deprogramming" (or consciousness raising) by an old gf I realize that "bi" is the vast middle of a scale between "exclusively same" and "exclusively opposite", and that almost none is truly stuck at one end or the other.

Thanks. I find that an extremely useful way to look at it.

 

[909dude]

Bi-guy

As a closet Bi-guy(my ol'lady doesn't know) I find that the attraction to men is not the same as it is toward women. Men don't have to be as physically attractive but have to be more personable I guess. In other words when I look at a woman I think" I sure would like to do her" with a guy it I have never just seen a guy and said I would like to suck him. It is usually after talking and getting aquainted that it happens. I truely enjoy Oral sex with both men and women and can enjoy it even if I am the only one doing anything to the other and not getting anything in return or just getting annd not giving. I hope this helps.

 

[curiousjen]

Lit, like the rest of the world, seems to be awash with bi women. Not so many bi men though.

I think thats the old chestnut that woman on woman action is much more acceptable in society than man on man. In general. Certainly where i come from, when people see girl on girl they're all like "wayhay!" yet queer men are abused verbally and sometimes beaten.

imho the sad but true reason why many men aren't so comfortable to be "bi" because experessing that area of their sexuality is risking so much more than women.

 

[AnotherCatullus]

Re: Re: Bisexuality

I think thats the old chestnut that woman on woman action is much more acceptable in society than man on man. In general. Certainly where i come from, when people see girl on girl they're all like "wayhay!" yet queer men are abused verbally and sometimes beaten.

imho the sad but true reason why many men aren't so comfortable to be "bi" because experessing that area of their sexuality is risking so much more than women.

Strange to find that society is more liberal towards women than men in this instance. Help! I'm being oppressed!

Seriously though, there's definitely something cultural going on. There's a model of human thriving we're coming more and more to accept in the independent woman, comfortable in her own sexuality equally towards men and women, assertive, self-confident, clearly feminine yet not shackled by traditional mores about femininity. Our cultural models for men are still much more traditional and they don't include the bisexual male by and large.

 

[firefighter02]

I think I'm Bi....I dont' mind the woman on top or the bottom.

 

[ReadyOne]

Re: Re: Bisexuality

I think thats the old chestnut that woman on woman action is much more acceptable in society than man on man. In general.

{snip}

For reasons never explained to my understanding, there a large part of the female population consider their taking a female lover not to be cheating while if their guy took a guy lover then he would be cheating.

 

[zhukov1943]

Hmmm - I've always liked the Greek concept of love as "Eros" and "Agape" - "Eros" is dirty, sweaty, monkey-love, whereas "Agape" is the platonic "love-you-for-who-you-are" sort of love.

I can understand "Agape" love for another man. I love my Dad - I love some of my guy friends - I could love another man that way.

But "Eros" - the physical act of sex with a man - that just doesn't do it for me.

In fact, it's more than a little repellent...

 

[The_old_man]

My personal opinion on this mater is possibly objectionable to many people. I firmly believe that everyone is born bi.

In a group of very young children, there will be no sexual division in play grouping. They will be equally distributed in the small clusterings that spontaneously form.

Only after they are given "sexually appropriate" toys and segregated into non-diverse groups do they begin noticing differences.

The "That isn't a girl/boy toy" syndrome is a learned distinction.

Before I met my wife I was actively Bi, but have been "Faithful" since.

 

[Arrow2891]

I've noticed I have this strange obsession with bi women. It's hard to explain, but it goes beyond the typical male attraction to girl-on-girl. I'm just obsessed with the whole idea of a bi woman, personally speaking. I'm so obsessed with them, that I sometimes want to be bi myself, to have my own version of it, if that makes any sense.

 

[H0wl]

I was raised traditionally "macho male".

After a bit of "deprogramming" (or consciousness raising) by an old gf I realize that "bi" is the vast middle of a scale between "exclusively same" and "exclusively opposite", and that almost none is truly stuck at one end or the other.

I've read some stuff that leads me to believe the same thing. I'm further towards the "exclusively opposite" end than you are, which I'm comfortable with but I can see the attraction for some folks

 

[Bi_Bi_Birdee]

It was just never an issue with me. I've just always been attracted to both males and females!


Did I CHOOSE to be bi? Did I make myself be bi? No.


Guess I'm either just lucky or greedy, one of the two.

 

[fallon2]

My experience

with subs is that all were interested in being with another woman.

Only one was not interested but would have done so if directed to.

I know several subs who have expressed that desire to be with another woman to me recently.

 

[DuckLover]

My personal opinion on this mater is possibly objectionable to many people. I firmly believe that everyone is born bi.

In a group of very young children, there will be no sexual division in play grouping. They will be equally distributed in the small clusterings that spontaneously form.

Only after they are given "sexually appropriate" toys and segregated into non-diverse groups do they begin noticing differences.

The "That isn't a girl/boy toy" syndrome is a learned distinction.

Before I met my wife I was actively Bi, but have been "Faithful" since.

I think your point is accurate, but I'm not sure that it's entirely relevant. Play among children isn't about sexuality. Small children won't discriminate based on ethnicity either. The conversation here, though, is about sexual (not gender) preference, and that doesn't develop until a person enters puberty. If you could create an experimental condition under which a group of people were raised in an entirely gender-neutral environment and they were non-discriminatory in choosing sexual partners after puberty, THEN I would be more likely to agree with you that people are born bisexual.

 

[SweetErika]

Re: Re: Re: Bisexuality

For reasons never explained to my understanding, there a large part of the female population consider their taking a female lover not to be cheating while if their guy took a guy lover then he would be cheating.

I'd consider anyone taking a lover without the permission and support of their partner "cheating". However, I think there's an idea in most societies that women are more nurturing and physically affectionate with eachother in everyday life. Often, we think nothing of expressing our feelings for eachother, giving massages, embracing, kissing platonically, pampering eachother, etc. Many times, these behaviors are very intimate and give way to the idea that it's also ok to be sexual with eachother. Because we don't see men constantly doing these kinds of things with eachother, it seems less "natural" to many people. Just my opinion...

 

[Melesse]

Don't forget there's also degrees of Bi. I've been slightly Bi for many years...I don't really like guys, except for the Cock. I love cocks, but not guys. Very strange.

If you have a cute cock, I'd prob suck you off, or jerk you off, but I'm not interested in kissing you, or cuddling

Melesse

 

[FieryVixen]

Bi women have undoubtedly been more readily accepted than men, especially in the past. I think it's wonderful that it is not only accepted but sometimes encouraged in the current younger generation. (I'm referring mainly to the experimental phase a lot of girls go through during the college years) I would rather have my daughter/son experiment and find they dislike it than be curious their entire life and never act on it.

Maybe the tides are turning for the males, too, and it will be easily accepted in the future. I'm of the mind that "sex is sex" and if it feels good, it doesn't matter what gender you're doing it with... as long as everyone consents.

I'm trying to convince my husband that he is bi...but he keeps rolling his eyes at me when I bring it up. He says he has no desire to look at another guy's hairy ass...so I said, "What if he shaves first?"