Bisexual men living with bisexual women....

[PredatorSmile]

Are there any on this board ? I'm bi ( well, duh !) and so is my boyfriend. We live together in Boston's South End. He's in his 4th year of college and I graduated a few months ago. We're quite happy together and get along great.


I attend monthly meetings for GLBT People living in the Boston area. I find them welcoming and nice, a far cry from my GLBT Alliance on campus last year. I was the Vice President of the GLBT Alliance at my college for years, and they accepted me as a lesbian. However, when I fell in love with my boyfriend and began dating him, they called me a traitor and basically made me step down. They didn't know that my boyfriend was bisexual and thus "one of them", same as I was. He doesn't want to come out and I respect that.


The GLBT Alliance was made up mostly of 18-24-year-old men and women.



This new group that I am in has people who are 18 years old and some who are 70 years old. I met a gay male couple that's been together for 30 years and they raised three sons and two daughters together. I also met a lesbian woman still reeling from being ditched by her partner of 10 years for a younger chick. Yes, it's a diverse crowd. I see a lot of black and Latin folks in there, which is nice. Diversity is good. Also, an even mix of men and women, also a plus.



Yep, things are looking up.



These days, when I'm not working, I'm at home. My BF is very active, he's a college B-ball player living his glory days. He's surrounded by sexy fans of both sexes. I'm sort of in the background. I'm only in my mid-twenties but I kind of want a family....soon.


I just wanted to know if there were other bisexual women out there in relationships with bisexual men.


Oh, and the opinions of gays, straight folks, transsexuals and lesbians are welcome too !

 

[DomRick]

I am a bisexual Dominant male who lives with a bisexual submissive female. We were both open about our orientation early in our relationship that has now lasted almost four years. It's best that way (open communication) although I certainly don't flaunt either my orientation or activities to anyone outside our small circle of friends and playmates.

 

[Ike_The_Spike]

...
I attend monthly meetings for GLBT People living in the Boston area. I find them welcoming and nice, a far cry from my GLBT Alliance on campus last year. I was the Vice President of the GLBT Alliance at my college for years, and they accepted me as a lesbian. However, when I fell in love with my boyfriend and began dating him, they called me a traitor and basically made me step down. They didn't know that my boyfriend was bisexual and thus "one of them", same as I was. He doesn't want to come out and I respect that....
!

It's unfortunate that this kind of thing happens, but I've seen in with other groups as well. I knew a girl in college that identifies as African-American and when she went to work with/for "Black Student Services." She was turned away because she wasn't 'black enough.'

I love the attitude of 'you need to be open minded...so you have to agree with us.' If somebody wants to be accepted for who/what he/she is, then don't you think it would be a good idea to accept others for who they are? Can you tell I'm just a bit pissed by things like calling straight people 'breeders'? It's just counter productive.

I am extremely happy that you found a group that is so accepting though. They sound like a good bunch of people. Then again I might be a little biased having been raised in NH.

BTW, I'm a closeted bi-sexual...

 

[Etoile]

To be fair, your previous group had only 18-24 year olds because it was a college group...I wouldn't have expected anything else!

The leader of my college's queer group was bisexual, but that idea of "traitor" is very common. I think the reason for it is because the homosexuals feel that bisexuals in straight relationships are taking advantage of "heterosexual privilege." I can certainly understand the argument, although I don't agree with it.

 

[PredatorSmile]

To be fair, your previous group had only 18-24 year olds because it was a college group...I wouldn't have expected anything else!

The leader of my college's queer group was bisexual, but that idea of "traitor" is very common. I think the reason for it is because the homosexuals feel that bisexuals in straight relationships are taking advantage of "heterosexual privilege." I can certainly understand the argument, although I don't agree with it.

Yes, I get as college men and college women, they still had a long way to go. I mean, most of them were in various degrees of "out" and were in their early relationships. I hope one day they understand lifestyles like or unlike their own. It's weird how someone can scream all day about how he or she is discriminated against and yet turns around and discriminates against someone else in the same manner. I am totally against discrimination of any kind.

 

[Fatemaster]

Living with bi females

I'm a bisexual guy, but I've never lived with a bi female. I did have a long-term relationship with a bi girl two years ago, and she was really who opened me up to exploring my sexuality.

As far as it goes, I'm really into relationships with women, I'm not really into that kind of thing with guys, it's just about sex. I would love to find a woman who is open-minded and tolerant about that kind of thing, but it's rare. Society definitely has a double-standard as far as this goes. Even the swinging lifestyle does not really accept it much.

 

[Bigtallnbi]

Hey PS this is a great idea for a thread...i'm a bisexual male in my early 30's....currently I don't have a live in partner, but have lived with a g/f who was bi as well....I've never had a long term relationship with a guy, but plenty of fun times Looking forward to one day having a bisexual female partner to share experiences with.

 

[PredatorSmile]

Hey PS this is a great idea for a thread...i'm a bisexual male in my early 30's....currently I don't have a live in partner, but have lived with a g/f who was bi as well....I've never had a long term relationship with a guy, but plenty of fun times Looking forward to one day having a bisexual female partner to share experiences with.

Thanks, B. The thing is that I feel quite happy these days. My relationship with Aaron is alright. We're okay. I'm doing well in my job. He's doing great in school. My father is happy with his new girlfriend and he's smiling a lot more often. My brothers are doing alright too, both personally and professionally. Life couldn't be better. Although I'm a die-hard tomboy at heart, I sometimes wish I had someone to talk to about my relationship issues. My best friend is a gay man and I tell him everything, yet omit the fact that my boyfriend is bisexual. Why ? Aaron would never forgive me if he were outed, and I would never betray him.


I sometimes wonder if there are other bi-girls who are in relationships with bi-guys ? To me, it seems like perfection....potentially.


There's something sexy and intimate about walking through downtown Boston holding my boyfriend's hands and we both check out sexy women and handsome men when they walk by.

 

[long_haired_lad]

I'm a slightly Dom bi-male living with a female switch Bisexual. We have a great relationship, and enjoy flirting with both sexes, either separetly or as a couple. She's had a few same sex encounters, whilst all I've done is kiss a couple of guys. I'm working on it though!

 

[Bigtallnbi]

Thanks, B. The thing is that I feel quite happy these days. My relationship with Aaron is alright. We're okay. I'm doing well in my job. He's doing great in school. My father is happy with his new girlfriend and he's smiling a lot more often. My brothers are doing alright too, both personally and professionally. Life couldn't be better. Although I'm a die-hard tomboy at heart, I sometimes wish I had someone to talk to about my relationship issues. My best friend is a gay man and I tell him everything, yet omit the fact that my boyfriend is bisexual. Why ? Aaron would never forgive me if he were outed, and I would never betray him.


I sometimes wonder if there are other bi-girls who are in relationships with bi-guys ? To me, it seems like perfection....potentially.


There's something sexy and intimate about walking through downtown Boston holding my boyfriend's hands and we both check out sexy women and handsome men when they walk by.

PS I'm really glad to hear everything is going well in your part of the world...really great your dad is smiling and happy again...nothing like a good partner in your life to make everything seem alright. I'm sure it must be difficult for you at times though...not having someone you can open up to completely when it comes to your relationship and get some advice when you need it...i've got a few bi friends...both male and female and it does help.

I agree with you...having a bi partner in your life is really great...i'm hoping and praying to have a bi female in my life again at some point..if you're open and honest with each other it can seem like perfection no doubt! Scoping out men and women together can be alot of fun...I did that before with my ex g/f when we were together...hopefully soon i'll be able to experience that again

 

[satin_coals]

I am a bisexual submissive and I've been with my dominant male partner who is also bisexual for 5 years. We both see other people of the same sex. It was one of the first things we knew about each other .. there have never been any secrets surrounding it.

I feel it has both helped us to understand each others needs that cannot always be fulfilled by one another. Sometimes we crave something the other cannot provide. But He will *always* be the only man in my life

 

[FrenchMustard]

I've found that I can only really stably date other bi people, of either gender. I don't completely know what it is, but people really seem to have issues with accepting me as a partner if they aren't bi themselves.

 

[PredatorSmile]

I've found that I can only really stably date other bi people, of either gender. I don't completely know what it is, but people really seem to have issues with accepting me as a partner if they aren't bi themselves.

There's nothing wrong with loving our kind. I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time without knowing he was bisexual. Heck, when we met, he thought I was straight, though I was with a woman at the time. See what I mean ? I think bisexual women and bisexual men sleep together and even date each other all the time without knowing it. Most of us lead "straight" lives anyway.

 

[Bigtallnbi]

There's nothing wrong with loving our kind. I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time without knowing he was bisexual. Heck, when we met, he thought I was straight, though I was with a woman at the time. See what I mean ? I think bisexual women and bisexual men sleep together and even date each other all the time without knowing it. Most of us lead "straight" lives anyway.

Yeah you're right about that PS...and I think for some guys it may be more diifciult for them to admit to their partner that they're bi or have bi urges just because of the way society views all of it.

 

[PredatorSmile]

Yeah you're right about that PS...and I think for some guys it may be more diifciult for them to admit to their partner that they're bi or have bi urges just because of the way society views all of it.

I know, BigTallnBi ! I know ! Did you know that ancient societies like the Romans viewed bisexuality as quite natural ? Alexander The Great ruled Ancient Greece and yet he was bisexual. He had a sexy male lover called Hephaiston and a wife, Roxana. Julius Ceaser, famous for loving Egyptian Queen Cleopatra, actually had male and female lovers in Rome !
Marlon Brando, America's favorite actor for many decades, had many lovers of both sexes, among them bisexual icon James Dean and bisexual starlet Marilyn Monroe !!!!

 

[Fatemaster]

James Dean and Marliyn Monroe

I'm just going to think about the picture of a young Marlon Brando, James Dean and Marliyn Monroe in a 3way...mmmmmmm

 

[PredatorSmile]

I'm just going to think about the picture of a young Marlon Brando, James Dean and Marliyn Monroe in a 3way...mmmmmmm

Maybe you should write such a story and post it in the Celebrities erotica section ? I'd read it....and tell ALL my friends !!!!

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

One of the best relationships I had was with a bisexual male(I'm a bi woman).I dont know though if we were so good together because of that,or the fact that we were both so damn in love with each other that it would have worked anyway.We had no jealousies with each other,,,i do know that.One thing that did help is we were both very honest and open with each other and also very reassuring of our love for each other,,,that helped a hell of a lot

 

[gingermango]

Interesting thread. We are a bi-couple living a quiet, (mostly) closeted life in the 'burbs, raising our kids and our pets and having a fine time doing it. Some of our closest friends know our orientations, but most don't, including our families. I think you'd probably describe us as "recreationall bi-." We know what gets us off and what we really enjoy, but that's about it. Neither of us has had a same-sex emotional relationship and neither of us is really interested in one. We like our domestic arrangement as is, and we get our same-sex kicks playing together as a couple with other bi-couples, like many involved in the swing/swap community.

 

[PredatorSmile]

Interesting thread. We are a bi-couple living a quiet, (mostly) closeted life in the 'burbs, raising our kids and our pets and having a fine time doing it. Some of our closest friends know our orientations, but most don't, including our families. I think you'd probably describe us as "recreationall bi-." We know what gets us off and what we really enjoy, but that's about it. Neither of us has had a same-sex emotional relationship and neither of us is really interested in one. We like our domestic arrangement as is, and we get our same-sex kicks playing together as a couple with other bi-couples, like many involved in the swing/swap community.

Wow, we are so much alike ! Ever since I met my boyfriend ( closeted bisexual college jock), I've been with one other man ( also bi) and one woman ( black lesbian from Charlestown, MA.). Other than that, we're monogamous. I hope we can build a good life together like you seem to have. Good for you !!!!

 

[gingermango]

Thank you, PredatorSmile. We have tried very hard to build our lives into a place we're happy living in. It's not easy, given how repressive American society is in regards to sex in general (and gay or bi-sex in particular). But what we have works for us. We have a few couples we play "straight" with or bi-female for the Goddess and straight for me (bi-males are NOT very welcome in most swing/swap situations), and we have a few friends that we can play out some of or D/s kinks with, but we also have a few very special friends with whom we can let everything go and do whatever we like.

Is it perfect? No. But does it work and allow us to be happy? Yes. That's all that can be asked of a life, I think.

 

[PredatorSmile]

Thank you, PredatorSmile. We have tried very hard to build our lives into a place we're happy living in. It's not easy, given how repressive American society is in regards to sex in general (and gay or bi-sex in particular). But what we have works for us. We have a few couples we play "straight" with or bi-female for the Goddess and straight for me (bi-males are NOT very welcome in most swing/swap situations), and we have a few friends that we can play out some of or D/s kinks with, but we also have a few very special friends with whom we can let everything go and do whatever we like.

Is it perfect? No. But does it work and allow us to be happy? Yes. That's all that can be asked of a life, I think.

Good for you ! I don't think my boyfriend is ready for the whole "settle down" thing. He's still experimenting with his bisexuality with some gay guys at the local bars. He's not as discrete as he says he is, a gay male friend spotted him in a club where some queer boy was going down on him. Yeah, it's like that. I got all of that "experimental" stuff out of my system a LONG time ago.

 

[knkycva]

Another bi couple here

.....

 

[PredatorSmile]

My GF is a bottom and bi-curious. I'm a bi top. We've been together going on two years now and I hope this will last!

It's nice to hear of other couples in this boat. I'm very hopeful that our shared SSA will make it easier - to be sure, our flexible notions of sex help in this regard. We have been interested in the swinging scene - specifically to find another couple to have as regular friends (and partners), but there is still a pretty strong stigma against bi/gay men.

Well, good for you, sugah !

 

[gingermango]

We have been interested in the swinging scene - specifically to find another couple to have as regular friends (and partners), but there is still a pretty strong stigma against bi/gay men.

Yes, there sure is. We've seen it tried (and tried it ourselves) in a couple different ways. The first is to just be straight-forward: join a swinger site and list both partners as bi- or bi-curious (if you have only very limited experience and just want to try it again). That ensures that the responses you get will be very clear up front what you like and don't like. The problem is that there is just as much homophobia and fear among swingers as there is in the general population. So if (like many bi-guys) you still really, really love straight sex and love playing with sexy women too, that kind of approach seriously limits your potential pool of playmates. The other approach we've seen is just to list the male partner as straight, write your profile so that it shows that you are very open-minded and unconventional and once you get to know a couple and maybe play with them a time or two, you can decide if there is enough SSA to make an overture. You just discreetly see if they're interested in expanding the play possibilities, perhaps by oblique discussions of kinky fantasy or something along those lines. If they don't seem to "get it", fine. They're not offended and you haven't disturbed what can still be a very sexy, very fun straight play experience. That approach has worked a time or two for us and is generally the one we take.