Birthdays are in abundance today, huh? Good God.

[Starfish]

Jappy Plirthday......

Pugsily (21), aussie58 , Anon_persona (21), SINthysist (45), oakleyx4 , ParanoidPatriot , samantha66 (37), Fiasco369 , Expat (34), jaxbbw (25), ImMichael (42), aaahhhaaa (42), organ27 , pikachu13507 (36), lovebunny (24), Z. Beeblebrox (14), FRIENDLJACK (38), rahul_Asian (24), ESQUIRED (35), joejoe1172 (27), bbyy909 (23), zobre (30), jayboy01 (32), Max69 (23), Alan12345 (25), dsx (34), OICU912 , akuaankha (52), playmatepgh (35), paps (32), hardtoolx (29), robroy1957 (45), KR1troll (82), qurban (36), buschman33 (42), whisper (50), ExoticJulia (25), Sumkindafreak (22), AZoutdoors (42), adelle (22), tinkertailor2k1 (31), diamond_dice (50), nybro (32), vishwachod (27), sulliraja (38), wildme , ks_66506 (30), Owen , michael mouse (22), newfiegirls (20), barb1hot (21), MysteriousTall1 (19), Sugar Bear (32), mariaarizona (40), zzz (36), sara_malik (22), Tony_1973 (29), xxxviking (33), JACKTHEBEAR (42), jcarl04 , kashmir (23), mother_in_law (52), bambam (36), Naughty_Kitten , myky (47), oedipus (32)


Let's see..... AJ is having a birthday today (is it real or made up?)]

The KR1troll is an old ass fucking perve... jeeze.

Is newfiegirls a silent g version of Gnufigirls?

Is Oedipus gonna rex on us? I hope not. At least not on his birthday.





I single out, because I can, therefore I am a ham, I am.

 

[SINthysist]

I think it is a default setting. But close to the mark in my case. See the Happy BDay thread for a more complete explanation.

 

[bluntforcemama]

And another! Holy SHIT!

 

[KillerMuffin]

The following is a Form Birthday Bitch. I did not read your thread:

We already know that the scripts default birthdate is set for Jan. 1.

If you don't pick a birthday it picks on for you.

Duuuuuuuuh

Good fucking gawd people. Pick another ridiculous topic to inundate the board with. Something interesting like the color of Todd's socks or ppman's haliotosis problem if you've got nothing to think about.

Variety is a good thing.

Hi Fishie!!!

 

[Starfish]

Look, I am not fucking impressed at all. Muffin, I don't care if you didn't read my thread. Common since would have told you that I don't need a fucking lecture on providing the BB with creativity and variety. Take your "form bitch" and shove it. I don't need it. When was the last time I started a redundant thread?

First of all, not everyone knows that it is a default setting, and secondly, if it were the case for most of these folks, very few of these fucking people would have an actual age next to their names. Why would one bother to set a fucking year but not set a real date, unless you are just a liar?
Seems odd to me.

In general, I was merely observing something that I noticed at the ass crack of dawn, while half asleep. SOOOOOORRRRRYYYYYYY....
But that isn't what is really troubling to me right now.


BIG FUCKING RANT, Possibly redundant.... So S'cuse me in advance:

It is really lame that I rarely start a thread that people take any interest in, when, in the past, I've fucking tried my ass off to make you people smile, and happy, or at least interested in something other than the typical, stifling bullshit that this board generally consists of, and I get little back but a bunch of "Oh, your so funny" and shit. YEah. WOopidIe fuckIN do dA. I am so impressed.
Thanks for confirming what I already know. I am not here for an ego boost. I am here to grow, and learn, and share. I do a ton of that. I get crap back. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it.

When ever I've started a serious thread, that didn't settle well with those who want to keep the inane status-quo that is so dominating here, I've gotten reamed out for it in some manner, because of whatever reason they see fit, but the idea is that I am not interested in criticisms that are thrown out like rhetoric that stinks, instead of educates.
Oh, and for all of your general information, you can't come on and give your opinion to me in a holier that thou manner, at a time when I am being attacked by others, and expect me to fucking care.

I don't fucking complain too much, I have, I know, but I can't remember the last time I started a thread (and I have started many that call for thought and for insight), that got decent reads on it, that stayed up for longer than 45 minutes without my having to fucking respond to every post to egg on some sort of ridiculous dialog that I didn't even ask for in the first place.

I am really not sure why when I happen to start one, accidentally redundant thread, that I am part of some group of collective 'morons' that don't have a clue and aren't being creative enough....

FUCK YOU if I am not PROVIDING ENOUGH creative variety to you.

That is ALL I EVER TRY TO DO HERE.....

Does it really fucking matter when I do?
No, overall, it really doesn't.... Because you all take and take, and I get little or nothing back (not to say that I don't notice it when I do, because I do notice, and those of you who do that usually get some sort of private response from me), but for the most part I get some flirtatious blather in response (don’t' really need it, it's cute and all, but I am really not here for that either. Not that I don't appreciate it) or some irate rebuttal that is as relevant to the matter as eating shit on crackers.

It is really fucking lame that I came back after a hiatus, still very ill, but missing people who I really wonder just HOW much they really care, or really notice anything of significance about my absence, and having announced that I couldn't handle stress here at present, in the end, this is what I get. I get made to feel like I am not doing ENOUGH.
Fuck it.

To those of you who I feel that really care, you'll be hearing from me in private.

Otherwise, go fuck yourself.

 

[Starfish]

I just got a clear explanation of this situation, and I am sorry I ranted out like that. It is counter productive.


I am feeling off my kilter in general, but it might be more because I am sick as hell, than anything, now, I think. I don't know. There is an omnipresent feeling in me, instilled and reinforced by many things, but primarily certain people, that I am so sick of having to deal with, harbor, share, and try to get understood by it in a personal way, only to be thrown aside as if I don't matter or to have to deal with the quilt of having laid it on someone else in the first place.

This odd, devaluing, self destructive prescense that waited in the shadows, always just off to the side of my heart, is now moving into my heart, and is beginning to take up permanent residence. This just can't happen. I can't let it. I forge ahead some, make some progress and then fall back 100 paces over broken glass because of past pain.

I have tried to shun it, lie to myself about it. Hide it. Run from everything because of it. Confide it to some because of a demanded trust, that is just broken by them anyway because they cannot handle being decent to me about the fact that they understandably have no solutions, but can't even really be my 'normal' friend because of it. That just sucks and is totally fucking lame. I know my true worth because of things like this repetitively happening whenever I try and be close to someone. I confide it to others, who innocently cannot help because they don't have a way to help but can be my friend. That is good. I cherish that. It keeps me knowing there is hope, but it is not enough to stave off the demise of my heart, when hurt and suffering seems to dominate the landscape.

It's my fucking heart. Why can't I claim it? Control what it feels and what I don't want it to do?

It is because long time ago, I gave my heart to life so I could stay alive. It isn't mine anymore. It belongs to that of all existence.

I am a Buddhist. I am a Hindu. I am a Christian, a pagan, a right wing gun freak. I am a daoist, I am ji. I am a tree, a stream. I am a picture of things that were, and things to come. I am an elf, and a liberal. I am an ounce of silver, and a speck of moon rock. I am you. I am Shinto, a Cannibal, a Mayan, a horse. I feel that of wheat grass, and lepers, and a bit of the elderly woes of an aged cat, lounging in the sun.

I am all of these things and more. But why the fuck can't I feel the equated beauty of things more than the pain? Because I can go, vanish, and these things will remain unphased, unmoved, because I don't matter. I am not left in them. This is the fate of us all. This to me is the greatest sadness.

I guess we have is just days..... days between, I guess.