Birds and the Bees

[Dixon Carter Lee]

My son asked me how animals make babies. I used this as a way to segue into the birds and the bees speech. He's pretty young, so I kept it simple. He already knew that it had something to do with DNA and sperm and a "piece of the man and a piece of the woman", but he was unclear about the actual operation. So I told him. I told him the man puts his penis in the woman's vagina, and that's how the sperm gets into her body. His eyes opened wide, with a slight smile, happy to know a secret, but at the same time he said, "That's disgusting." He also wanted to know if it hurt. LOL

No one told me diddly when I was a kid,a nd I recall hearing all sorts of bizarre theories from my friends. The whole process was a mystery to me, and I desperately wanted to know. So I've decided to be forthright with my kids, and given them "age appropriate", but honest answers. I don't want him believing for a minute what one kid told me: that they stick a plank up the women's hole and the baby walks out. Or that cats "marry" each other before having kittens.

What's the dumbest thing you once believed about sex?

 

[lilfrk]

That women got pregnant the same way our cows in the barn did. A man from the ABS came and put a big glove on and shoved their arm up...oh never mind. Just know it was a terrible thing to think when you are 7.

 

[Pyper]

Well, when I was really little, I remember there was this older kid in daycare who went around telling everybody their parents have sex. I told him, "My parents never had sex!" LOL.

Then, around the same age, I asked my mom the old, "where do babies come from". She said, first a man and a woman who love each other decide to get married. Then they decide to have a baby. And that was about it. From this I got the impression that the woman willed the baby into existence, but this was not biologically possible to do until one got married.

By the time I was in junior high, my mom decided I needed the real birds and the bees talk. But I had already learned everything from novels (and not the trashy romance ones either, more like Michael Crichton). I covered my ears and said, "La la la, I am not listening". I didn't want to hear that stuff from my mom!

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Got a pic for ya - on my frowning/photo thread.

Actually took it with you in mind.

It was great out there yesterday!

 

[Xander]

I was one of those kids who actually LIKED girls when I was supposed to run screaming away from them.

HEY! they smelled GOOD (Still do)

Anyway I dont really rememebr when I learned abouyt the act. Just that when my dad finally thought it was time for that talk...I was no longer a virgin LOL
So he did the second best thing, padded me on the back and said: That's my son.

 

[alexander tzara]

I remember a girl telling me when I was around 6 or 7 what "shagging" actually meant: "That's when a man puts his willy in a woman's fanny to make babies". ("Fanny" is British coloquialism for pussy not ass) I was horrified and told her she was a big fat liar.

My parents didn't tell me anything about sex. If they did, I'd like to hope they would've worded it a bit better than that. The closest I got to the sex talk was my Mum sheepishly handing me a bunch of 'Man And Woman' magazines (an early-'70s love and sex journal for liberated couples type thing). I was 14 by that point and just spent my time laughing at all the cheesy pictures of men with beards badly faking orgasms with their rather prim looking Hippy chick wives.

I got most of my sex education from what other kids said at school and from sneaking glances at my Mum's 'She' and 'Cosmopolitan' magazines, when I was around 12 or 13. They had fairly explicit sex columns in them at the time, with diagrams.

Then on holiday at my Grandparents' I discovered my Uncle's 'Joy Of Sex' book hidden in one of his book shelves amongst all the science-fiction and philosophy.

When I was 14 I watched a hardcore porn film with some pals (they were illegal in the UK no matter what age you were - but they had them under the counter in the local video store). Of course, we spent most of our time laughing at the terrible acting, and the European accents and pretending we weren't at all turned on by the video (all of us had cushions strategically placed on our laps - haha). But it was exciting to finally see what women really looked under their underwear - quite different to the clinical diagrams in 'She' and 'Cosmo', I was glad to see.

 

[Jade]

I know I'm not actually answering the question appropriately but...

As early as first grade I remember hearing all these jokes on the playground .. stuff like: the "gorilla eating the banana" or the "headlights, car and a garage," etc.

I would laugh... but I was so damn confused... I was like WTF are they talking about?

When I was in third grade my mom sat me on her lap and told me everything... basically the way that DCL explained it to his son.

I was glad on one hand that it was my same-sex parent explaining but on the other hand.. I was thoroughly grossed out. I was so uncomfortable.. I didn't want to know my parents had done that in order for me to exist. I remember leaving the room and shivering in disgust.. ew ew ew.

 

[willywanker]

I don't remember ever really having that talk with my parents but I do remember one time really embarassing my mother and finding out about a woman's cycle.

I was about 10 or 11. A friend of mine had gone with my mother and I to the grocery and the drug store. On the way home, I started making jokes about one of the boxes on top of one of the bags. The box said "Sanitary Napkins" and thinking I was being funny, I asked who would buy unsanitary napkins. My friend really started to giggle so I thought my joke was really funny til Mom looked at me with her no-nonsence look and said to cut it out. When we got home, she took me aside and explained what they were for. Then it was my turn to be embarassed.

 

[Karmic]

I think I've always known about sex, my parents are VERY open about almost anything, and scince the age of 12 I've had the internet, I cant actualy remember a time I didnt have a fairly good idea of the mechanics, the only part I was a lil blurry on was the actualy structure of the fanny, but hey, I hit her G-spot with my fingers first time, thanx to some advice articals I read, god bless sites like this =)

 

[Mensa]

Sex-ed the right way

I learned it where every self-respecting kid learns it. On the street and in the playground. Oh! and in my friend Ted Marshall's basement rec room. With three co-operative girls from the school drama club. When those girls were finished, there wasn't any part of the female anatomy we lucky boys weren't totally familiar with. I highly reccomend visual aids in the learning process!!

 

[Purple Haze]

An older neighbor kid told me that my parents rubbed their wee wee's together to make a baby.

Another kid told me that the baby comes out of the mother's butt.

One kid told me that the man puts his thing in the woman and pees.

I asked my Dad about it once, and he told me to go outside and watch the dogs. This has become a favorite role-play for me and Ms. Haze. All the snarling and snapping makes it kinda hot. I can do without the bucket of water though.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I also thought that procreation wouldn't work unless the couple were married, like they gave you some sort of pixie dust on your honeymoon which would allow the sperm to "take" or something.

 

[Tabby432]

Ilearned about sperm in 2nd grade at the bus stop.

Teddy: You know what sperm is?
Tabby: Yes. *clueless*
Teddy: Oh Yeah! What is it?
Tabby: I know you tell me.
Teddy: If you know you tell me.
Tabby: I know but you don't. That's why you won't say.
Teddy: Do too! Sperm is what boys have to make babies. You don't have sperm cause you're a girl. Me, I only have a little bit cause I'm little, but I'll have a lot when I get bigger.

By the time I got the talk I didn't want to hear it. My friends and I pretty much had it all figured out by then.

 

[Mischka]

I first understood the concept of homosexuality from watching Three's Company when I was six. The next day, I was playing with my Barbies when my mother joked that Ken must be a lucky guy with all of those women around him. I casually told her that Ken wasn't interested in them - he was gay. My mom then sat me down and grilled me about what I knew about sex, without adding to my sketchy knowledge. She didn't give me any further information until I was 16, via a library book on "changes in the body" left on my bed.

 

[DevilMayCare]

Although I'd heard sketchy details from boys in the neighborhood, my real education about sex came in church! Oh my god, the embarassment of sitting with all my classmates, squirming on folding chairs, eyes locked straight ahead as the pastor pointed to diagrams taped to the bulletin board in what for years had been my Sunday school classroom. I caught the eye of a couple of my boy friends but nothing in the world would have enabled me to look at any of the girls. We walked out of the room in stunned silence, each drifting away without our usual playful exchanges. What a shock!

One of the most remarkable aspects of the experience was the unsettling juxtaposition of frank, clinical details being given for an act we'd learned forever was sinful and somehow unclean. Its taken me more years than I care to admit sorting out all those conflicting messages.